Personal experience: My daughter and I coped and wiser Bashny.Net

Background: My husband and I divorced, live in different cities, the daughter waiting for him very soon for her birthday, but he did not come. The tragedy played out serious. I had great difficulty finding the right words and to explain to her that it's not about her, it so happens, and so on.

My friend and I came up with a surprise: to take children to Moscow for three days and arrange a holiday, a holiday in honor of the birth of my daughter. The children did not know until recently that it will be a surprise. And here at 4 o'clock in the morning we drive to the airport, at the front desk they understand that this is - Moscow, one child insanely happy, second - my daughter - disappointed. We just lived relatively close to Moscow, once and been there, but it was so long ago ... Disappointment child suffered and the fact that rented us an apartment rather than a hotel, and the Kremlin Museum to go she did not want ... So it was ridiculous "I was there" - she tells me. And I told her: "Who are you there was, if I was not there?»




A child was delirious before the autograph of a celebrity. I wanted to get her. And by chance they saw in the Kremlin Nikolai Valuev ticket offices. And my Kate was so daring that took autograph - it was the whole operation. How much it was genuine happiness and squealing with joy!

In the evening we had a scheduled performance Todes. Again it began bu-bu-bu. In the ballet, I will not go, Fu ... And I have it dances. During the first interval was again burning eyes and "wow!" And such a swing of emotions was the entire first day.

And I was grateful to itself! I looked at her with love swing, and I did not have the expected parental reaction in such cases: you are ungrateful, I won everything organized, and you duesh lips for you ...

But that is not all. The main event for her, of course, was the arrival of the Pope. He promised to come on the third day of our trip. What joy was a child! And then came the second day, we went to the water park, our girls were rolling, and we horsing his calf in the hot tub. In the evening we drove the girls to a concert of Egor Creed. It was funny, but they were happy.

And then at the peak of happiness and satisfaction from the concert calling my ex-husband, we obgovarivayem addresses turnout, passwords, and he tells me that he would come with his new wife. Of course, me, everything is clear in this case, but the pain experienced daughter! From the top of boundless happiness she collapsed again into the abyss of despair. In my eyes I formed an injury to my little girl, and I understand that I can not fix anything. She wants to be the main woman in his life my dad, and he does not give her such an opportunity!

I found for her speech, I told her all about unconditional love that she is there, Daddy loves her without any rules and conditions simply for what it is, and that's his wife for the love of fighting and, of course, jealous dad to Kate, and many others some important, but the quiet words.

And what was my understanding in this situation? I did not think about her husband, I did not judge him for such a choice, I just accepted and understood. I tried to convince the daughter to stop experiencing these bitter feelings of frustration and resentment, I told her she has a right to be frustrated, and the Pope has the right to do as he does, too.

And what's very important - I did not feel despair from what I can not protect her and protect. In the old days I would have torn apart inside himself and threw a mental anger against her husband's insensitivity, and so on. And so, I looked at her, worried her with her pain, but gave her a pass on this path of awareness and understanding of people and life itself. In front of me is a picture, as if she was in a storm on the mountain river on the rock the rope bridge without insurance itself, and I with a sinking heart was back, stretching out her arms, and ready at any time to pick up, if it starts to fall.



But my girl coped! She walked-live this storm of emotions and the next day went perfectly provocation on the part of the Pope's new wife. We, of course, divided. She went with his father, we - the exhibition of chocolate, and when the child was brought to us, she shared the impression, as this woman was interested in whether the mother angry Katie. The daughter, of course, said that good. But she tried to convince Kate that her mother still angry, Kate is lying, do not understand and so

The daughter told all this fun, with comments about the strangeness, and so on. And I saw in her a state that the main woman still had my girl, and she even well aware of the difference between their psychological maturity and the maturity of this girl. In general, it was three days of global growth, and for me and for her. Everything was so easy, but now I understand that we are both perfectly coped with this.

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And more importantly, I forgave her husband all its imperfections, is no longer judged to be detached from their claims against him, and in his attitude to me appeared elusive softness, and our short meeting became soft and pleasant meeting between the two are not strangers to each other people. Previously, it was resentment, and the whole anti-tank exhibited against me. I knew he was hurt that I left him, just to nowhere, not for someone, but simply because it is impossible to go on living together. And I was hurt that it affects the frequency of its communication with children. But it seems that his grievances ice began to melt, because I melted the ice of their claims to him.