If you can not forgive someone, just read Bashny.Net

I hate all existing clichés about forgiveness.

I know every proverb, every board, every conventional wisdom, because I have tried to find answers in the literature. I read all the posts in the blog dedicated to the art to release anger. I wrote out quotes Buddha and learned them by heart - and none of them worked. I know that the distance between the "solution to forgive" and the sense of peace can be overwhelming. I know.




Forgiveness - is a jungle for those of us who crave justice. The idea that someone will go unpunished after what he did hurt. We do not want to keep our hands clean - traces of blood offenders would suit us perfectly. We want to even the score. We want them to have experienced myself the same thing and we.

Forgiveness seems a betrayal of himself. You do not want to give up in the fight for justice. Anger burns inside you and poison you own poison. You know it, but I still can not let go of the situation. Anger becomes a part of you - like the heart, brain or lungs. I know the feeling. I know the feeling when your blood rage beats in time with your pulse.

But here's the thing to remember about anger: it is instrumental emotion. We are angry, because we want justice. Because we think that it will benefit. Because we believe: we meaner, the more changes we can make. Anger does not understand that the past is over and the damage was already done. He says that revenge is all correct.

Be angry - it's like constantly picks open bleeding wound, believing that in this way you will save yourself from the scar formation. As if the man who hurt you, and one day will impose a seam with such incredible precision that from a cut will be over. The truth about anger is that: it's just a refusal of treatment. You scared, because when the wound is prolonged, you will need to live in a new, unfamiliar skin. And you want to return the old one. And the anger tells you that it is best not to give the bleeding has stopped.

When you boil all, forgiveness seems impossible. We would like to forgive, because the mind, we understand that it is a healthy choice. We want tranquility, peace, which offers forgiveness. We want to release. We want this to be seething in his brain ceased, but nothing we can not help it.

Because the main thing for the forgiveness of us so no one has told: it is not going to fix anything. This is not an eraser that erases everything that has happened to you. It does not abolish the pain with which you have lived, and do not give you instant peace. Search of inner peace - it's a long hard road. Forgiveness is just something that will allow you to avoid the "dehydration" in the way.

Forgiveness means giving up hope for a different past. That is the understanding that it was over, the dust has settled and destroyed can never be restored to its original form. It is the recognition that no magic can not repair the damage. Yes, the hurricane was unfair, but you still have to live in their devastated city. And no anger shall raise him up from the ruins. You'll have to do it yourself.

Forgiveness means taking personal responsibility - not for destruction but for restoration. The decision on how to regain peace.

Forgiveness does not mean that your wine offenders smoothed. It does not mean that you have to be friends with them, sympathize with them. You just take what they have left on your trail and you will now have to live with the markings. You will no longer wait for the person who broke you, so that he returned all "as it was." You will begin to heal the wounds, regardless of whether the scars remain. The decision to go on living with their scars.

Forgiveness - is not the triumph of injustice. It is about creating a private equity own karma and destiny. The idea is to get back on its feet with the decision not to be unhappy because of the past. Forgiveness - is understanding that your scars will not determine your future

. Forgiveness does not mean that you give up. It means that you're ready to gather strength and move on.

Author: Heidi Priebe