20 of the most exhilarating passages of Baron Munchausen



Whoever is able himself to pull the hair out of the swamp, is worthy of remarkable respect. Therefore, Website gathered for you apt and sharp statements of the famous Baron Munchausen, who taught not to faint and ironic attitude to life and yourself. In our time, believe me, this is important.



My best friend betrayed me, my favorite renounced. I'm flying without luggage. You have been waiting for me, dear? I'm sorry ... I was detained Newton. After the wedding, we immediately left for the honeymoon: I - to Turkey, his wife - in Switzerland. And lived there for three years in love and harmony. Long live the divorce! It eliminates the lie that I hate so much! We were sincere in their errors! Tomorrow is the anniversary of your death. Do you want to spoil our holiday? - You say that man can raise his hair?
- Always! Every sane person would have from time to time to do it!
Well, do not change to me because every idiot! Being a nervous excitement, the Duke suddenly grabbed and signed several petitions for divorce with the words: "In the will, the will of all!ยป I am not afraid to be funny. It is not everyone can afford. Mr Baron have long been awaiting. He works in the morning in his office, locked the door and asked: "Thomas, - he says - has not arrived yet, Mr. Pastor?" I say, "No more." He says, "Well, thank God!" It is waiting for you. Hast mistress - to your health! Now all have mistresses. But you can not allow them to marry. It's immoral! To fall in love, and enough minutes. To get a divorce, sometimes you have to spend twenty years together. Is sure to kill a man to understand that he is alive? - You authorize divorce kings .
- Well, the king in special cases, as an exception, when it is necessary, for example, to continue the race.
- To continue the kind of need something quite different. - explain to the court why 20 years, everything was fine, and suddenly such a tragedy?
- Excuse me, Judge, twenty years lasted a tragedy, and only now everything should be fine! Some of my funeral gave me more money than the entire previous life. It's not my adventures it's not my life! She smoothed, brushed, powdered and castrated! - All kidding?
- It has long been dropped. Doctors banned.
- Since when did you become a go to doctors?
- Immediately after the death of ...
- They say in fact, humor - it is useful, a joke, they say, life prolongs.
- Not everyone. Those who laugh prolongs. Whoever sharp, shortens.
Thus here. I understand what your trouble. You're too serious. All the nonsense on the ground to do just this expression ... Smile, gentlemen, smile
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