SHOULD WE excuses? Bashny.Net

Everyone knows the term "Stockholm syndrome" - on a primitive language, this means that the victim begins to look for excuses to his tormentors, almost identifying their interests with the interests of the person who causes suffering. I want to talk about today is not about terrorists, but about everyday manifestations of Stockholm syndrome.


For example, you have offended, and you, instead of being offended, wronged start making excuses. For example, the husband rude talk with you, but you think, "he was so tired, the poor, you have to feel sorry" - if this is repeated from time to time, you become a willing sacrifice, which does not repel. And when the future husband will not bite the tongue itself, rude, it is - the result of domestic Stockholm syndrome, or codependency, if you like. "True love can endure" - the slogan of these people. The next step - start to blame yourself for that partner is rude.


A friend was late and tries to apologize? You immediately find yourself an excuse - "well, of course, now such plugs!", But on top of that "you did not tired of waiting, what a trifle!" - So do not be surprised then that a friend is about to wipe your feet.

When you helpfully offer excuses ugly behavior is muted, your ability to think critically, and this is one of the hallmarks of a free man and the manifestation of the will. It even leads to a split personality - a man still knows that it is wrong, but can not do anything. Break through the brick wall of excuses virtually impossible.

Start making excuses rather simple - enough to have before his eyes the example of parents or domineering partner - and you're in this spiral, out of which, as we know, no.

Live and even chat with a man is very difficult, it begins to seem that the person blurred concepts of good and evil. You him "do not let wipe her feet," and he told you about "Christian values" and "sin of judging." I put it in quotes, because it has nothing to do with any one nor the other. Forgive need someone who confessed and repented, and to assess the evil deeds has nothing to do with the "conviction." Moreover, you render a disservice to their loved ones, looking for their constant justification - it corrupts. Offering an unnecessary crutch person of the eternal, "you can not not do anything," you are making others poor people. Without giving opportunity to apologize, you can even turn a good man into a monster.