The Aim Bashny.Net

Funny tale of what happened on the theme of communism in a single country. Found on the Internet, it seemed pretty interesting fantasy. I give the text to your court in the form in which and found - without Amendments.

And in general - it's all very sad. This idea was ruined ...




December 31, 1979.
USSR.

December 31, 1979 - five minutes before the New Year 1980, the Soviet people a Happy New Year personally congratulated General Secretary of the CPSU, Chairman of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR Leonid Brezhnev. It was a bit unusual - the last few years, congratulations on behalf of the Central Television announcer read Igor Kirillov.
At first, nothing strange, however, the greeting was not. Leonid Brezhnev mentioned the fact that the Soviet Union had a fraternal international aid Democratic Republic of Afghanistan, reported on the progress of the Union over the past year in industry, agriculture and culture. Said that Moscow will meet next year's Olympic Games.
When before 1980 there was only one minute, Leonid Ilyich looked at the screen with multi-million Soviet people seated at festively laid tables at the TV and said:
 - As you may remember, comrades, at the 22nd Congress of our Party adopted a program of building the foundations of a communist society, and promised that the current generation of Soviet people will live under communism. Frankly, many believed that this promise is not feasible. But we Communists used to be responsible for what was said. And fulfill the promise. So we taught Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, the way we live. I want to please you, dear comrades ...

Leonid Ilyich paused, cleared his throat:
 - From January 1, New, 1980, our country transition to communism. I congratulate you, comrades. Immediately after the New Year, the Central Committee appealed to the Supreme Soviet of the USSR with a proposal to rename the country the Union of Soviet communist republic. In the meantime - Happy New Year, dear comrades!

From Lvov to Vladivostok, from the polar station on Novaya Zemlya to the city Kushka the south of the country there was silence. On television, he played the anthem of the Soviet Union, but millions of people sat motionless at their TVs, forgetting even open a bottle of "Soviet champagne". And if the silence could be translated into Russian, translation would be very brief: "It's like ?!»

January 4, 1980.
USA, Virginia, CIA headquarters in Langley.

 - Long time no see, Jack! - Said the deputy director of the CIA, rising from the table and holding out his hand, Jack Weinstock, included in his luxurious office.
 - Long time - agreed Weinstock. - Have you got a good idea, Bill.
 - Congress has not yet offended. Do you have a wife?
 - With Iris? Well, she decided to leave me alone after divorce library. And John cat. Her lawyers are digging the ground nose.
 - I sympathize. Well, to me here a short time left. The new president, new people.
 - What you going to do?
 - Rest. First, the story with Iran, then Afghanistan, and now Russian ... these crazy.
 - Yes, I've heard.
 - Actually, Jack, I love you for it and invited.
Both sat in the leather chair by the window, deputy director suggested Weinstock contraband Cuban cigar, he lit a cigarette too.
 - What do you think about all this?
 - About what? - Decided to clarify Weinstock.
 - About Communism in Russia.
 - Brad some. In the past few years, Russian difficulties in ensuring the country's food, huge problems with consumer products. Some adventure ... or ...
 - Or?
 - Or unclear we play. Perhaps the company begins a certain political - associated with the change of leadership. At the same time - the Russian troops in Afghanistan. Maybe some link is here. Perhaps they are preparing to enter into Iran? But it is too early to say - you must read the information there.
 - Yes, - said the deputy director. - You know, Jack, here is precisely the problem.
 - What?
 - Everything else - classified information - warned the deputy director. - In Langley and the State Department from 1 January operate crisis team that track information from Russia. From our diplomats, intelligence from, interceptions of radio and television programs, listening to public and private telephone channels - well, as it should be.
 - And?
 - As usual.
 - I mean?
 - No change.
Weinstock frowned.
 - Wait, what nonsense. Brezhnev four days ago announced that Russian Communism was built, the first of January they have canceled the money went to the direct distribution of all consumer goods - and no change?
Deputy director seemed pleased and even slapped his knee.
 - You got it! Exactly. Neither defeated shops, no excitement, no demonstrations of account holders in their savings banks. It'S Nothing. Silence.
 - And our embassy in Moscow says that?
 - January 1, they have all the shops were closed, except for food. There were handing out brochures - these. They printed a few tens of millions of pieces. In some KGB secret printing press.
Deputy director gave Jack a very fine little book in paperback, which was written in Cyrillic:

"We live under communism!»

 - Sent a special plane from Russia. All night translated, a copy is already president.
 - And what is there?
 - Well, you know Russian, flipped.
Weinstock leafed.
"... The abolition of money ... all the products, goods and services are distributed according to the needs ... From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs and fulfill the dreams of mankind ...».
 - Needs? - Weinstock said thoughtfully. - Brad some.
 - Yes I Am. We are now in Langley's most popular anecdote: Russia, grocery store, on the doors of the announcement: "Today there is no need for sausage».
Jack heard this anecdote before, but could not help smiling.
 - All of this is unclear.
 - It is not clear - the deputy director of the CIA agreed. - And that's why I'm here and you invited. Jack, you're one of the best specialists in Russia, you have worked with us since the time of the Cuban missile crisis - and we want you to go out there and on the spot to find out what the hell is going on in the bloody Russian!
And the deputy director angrily stuck a cigar in the ashtray.

January 14, 1980.
USA, New York International Airport John F. Kennedy.

Jack went to the bar, on which was written: "AEROFLOT. USCR "
Standing behind the counter smiled at the girl, said, with a slight accent:
 - Hello! I can you something to help?
 - Yes I Am. I want to buy a ticket to Moscow.
At the reception, Jack noticed an ad in Russian and English: "Citizens of the Union of Soviet Communist Republics tickets" Aeroflot "are free of charge. For citizens of other countries - according to the pricelist ».
 - As you work in the US, about this? - Jack asked politely in Russian girl, who studied his visa (made in an incredible rush) and other documents.
An employee of "Aeroflot" looked at Jack, Jack pointed to an ad.
 - Ah, you're talking about communism. Well, of course, great. I'm still in the Soviet Union was not, but the girls who arrive there, they say that everything was so good, so ... - cool, as you say here. If people have changed. All good mood, no one complains. Just a celebration of some kind. I can not wait when it will be possible to fly home.
 - And it does not hurt - in fact, probably, before it was so prestigious - to work in America?
 - Before - yes, - said the girl, picking up something on klaviature.- And now there. Now we have better. Communism in fact, not huhry-muhry!

February 2, 1980.
Moscow.

Dissident and human rights activist Valery Ilinichna Starodvorskie ate caviar. The word "eat" is clearly not consistent with what she was doing - she caviar stuffing his mouth with difficulty, desperately, with tears in his eyes. With the effort to swallow and then again sent a tablespoon of caviar from a large basin in the mouth.

Jack Weinstock looked at her with compassion. At the same time eating caviar dissident and human rights activist said.
 - I take in their stores every day kilogram of caviar. I would have took more - but I do not eat.
Novodvorskaya sat booty on the TV. TV in her small apartment in the center of Moscow there were many - some printed, some in boxes. The cases were coats. Too many.
 - If at least one million Muscovites will take myself on TV every day - and a kilogram of eggs, their bloody collapse of communism. Because they can not and will not give most people the goods and food without cards or restrictions. Every morning I stand at the store with a sign: "Take caviar!»
 - And? - Jack asked.
Starodvorskie forcibly took a sip, then belched. Part of eggs flew out of her mouth.
 - Excuse me! - And continue. - Do not take! These communists brainwashed idiots go by!
 - What, do not take eggs?
 - Some take. One hundred grams. For children, or a birthday.
 - And why, do you think Novodvorskaya?
Dissident stopped eating, caught her breath.
 - I think that the communists irradiated the entire country. Some secret weapon. That turns people into zombies. Therefore, they limit their needs to a minimum. Other explanation I can not see.
 - And for you this radiation does not work?
 - No! - Starodvorskie said proudly. - I have immunity.
 - And someone has immunity? - Weinstock said.
 - Was at Sergei Kovalev. He also scored his first day of this damned communism many color TV sets, and six cars. And two stiralki "Vyatka machine».
 - Six cars? - Jack raised his eyebrows. - Where did so much?
 - To prove that theirs communism - it is a fiction. Yes I Am. And the next day I came to him - and he is back to TV. On foot.
 - And why not a car?
 - And he has rights and no. And he passed the back of the machine. Radiation affected him.
 - And what happened to him now?
 - Went to Siberia - to teach biology at the village school. His immunity against communist radiation could not resist.
 - And no one else? How do you?
 - Yes I Do! - Said Novodvorskaya and her eyes filled with tears. - I was left alone. Even brothers to fight in the Ukraine and Georgia - and those zombified. Even the Crimean Tatars and the Baltic states. Academician Sakharov and his wife left for America - from an inability to look at what the Communists did to people. But as long as I live - I'll be here and I will have them ugly salmon, caviar them, their sausage - on the other, I deal with them can not. Someday me join others - and we'll eat their damn communism.
She scored a new spoon caviar and shoved it in his mouth, struggling with the gag reflex.
 - For our freedom and yours! - Novodvorskaya said with his mouth full.

February 3, 1980.
Moscow store "Motorist».

Jack and his neighbor in the hotel "Russia", the correspondent of the Finnish newspaper "WAPA Sana" Sakari Helmy, standing near a store that sold the Soviet machine and waited for customers. There were no buyers. They have stood since the opening of the store, and if not for a flask of coffee, in which Finn firm hand poured brandy, bought the day before in the bar for foreign currency, both already be frozen.
 - Jack, went to the store, at least talk with vendors - finally gave the Finn.
The young man, who is also the seller - even if so called store employee in a country where trade was abolished - happily rushed to logged, but on the threshold of reading their otherness, that is, not belonging to citizens of the communist state, immediately faded.
 - Foreigners only cars sold - and only for the currency - sadly said the salesman.
 - We will not buy a car, let me ask you a few questions - asked Jack.
Young man graciously allowed.
It turned out that the day "leave" two or three cars "Lada", the same "Moskvich". The worst situation with the "Volga" - two weeks did not go away, no car, and yet are expected to plant three more. Therefore, the sellers drove with the car to a nearby school and orphanage.
Jack tried to inquire from the seller, what would happen if all the machines disassemble, so to speak, and then comes the man behind the machine, but the store is empty.
 - From the factory the machine has come - confidently said the young man.
 - And if they disassemble?
 - Will bring even - shrugged seller.

At this point, the store got a visitor. Now unconditional aborigine. The young man rushed up to him. Visitor - middle-aged man in a hat - felt very insecure.
 - You know, - he said I prodavtsu.- cottage - in the suburbs - and the wife is not very healthy, her train uncomfortable ride, well, so I think maybe take the car.
 - Of Course! - Said the salesman. - This is exactly what you need, and - considering the health of your spouse.
The man hesitated:
 - I'm still not sure. ... Suddenly, someone need a car more than me?
 - Do not worry. You may well take the car!
 - And I heard another, not all war veterans have cars - the man said uncertainly.
 - This issue has already been resolved, - said the salesman. - Today, the "truth" about this article. The country is formed over currency - with the bourgeoisie because we sell as before - and so decided to buy for veterans "Mercedes" of the Federal Republic of Germany. It will be even symbolic - to our veterans went on German cars.
 - Yes I Do? - The man asked. - Health as invented. But ... - he hesitated again. - Here's another. Large families. Many difficult without cars - and suddenly someone needs me anymore?
 - Employees of our store is a list of all families with many children, which can come in handy machine. So be sure - they will not be left without cars.
 - Well, - said the man. - And what you have now?
Seller just blossomed and confident, professional voice, began to list:
 - At the moment we have presented to consumers following the Soviet automobile industry machinery ...

Jack looked at Finn - too well understand Russian. Finn stood with his mouth open, looking at what is happening with the air, as if he had just witnessed the descent from heaven to earth angel of the Lord.

February 4, 1980.
Moscow. The complex of the US Embassy.

Decided to gather in the Situation Room of the Embassy, ​​which was also called black box. This room had absolute protection against any technical means listening to the existing arsenal of secret services - and, of course, in the arsenal of the KGB.
Attended by the ambassador himself, Cultural Attaché - he is a resident of the CIA, the military attache and Jack Weinstock.
Ambassador poured the whiskey, motioned for the audience. All willingly took the glass.
 - So, Jack, what do you say? - Said the ambassador.
Weinstock hesitated.
 - Honestly, nothing to boast about. I understand exactly the same as before coming here.
The rest looked at each other. Facial CIA station chief stood out despair.
 - It's a hell of a conspiracy, that's what I tell you.
Ambassador ironically looked at him.
 - I'm so and report to the State Department? Hellish conspiracy?
 - Yes, - said stubbornly attaches. - Exactly. I received information from our mole in the KGB. This was his last message - it is more in touch with us did not go. As with all the other agents. So ...
Resident opened the folder, looked at some sheets.
 - According to the report, last year the KGB cryptographers split the so-called cipher Bokii.
 - Who's that? - Asked the military attache.
 - Head of the Special Department of the GPU - the predecessor of the KGB. This department takes a lot, including the study of paranormal phenomena in the 20s - 30s. Boki shot himself during Stalin's purges in the 37th year. So, according to my agent, notebooks Bokii - that the KGB could read only a few years ago - has been described by the human mind control technique using special codes. Something like neurolinguistic programming.
Ambassador looked skeptical resident.
 - Well, the KGB was able to program all the 266 million of Soviet?
 - Using complex methods! - Resident said stubbornly. - Television, radio, newspapers. Were introduced psycholinguistic team, which turned into a zombie Russian.
 - NSA analyze all information flows. No deviations or hidden embedded codes were found - said the military attache.
 - So, they are hidden too deep - insisted resident.
 - Why do not they affect us? 'asked Jack.
 - We are not Russian.
 - Estonians are also not Russian. And Latvians. And the Lithuanians. Nevertheless, they have all the same as in Moscow and Leningrad and Sverdlovsk. People live, go to work, which they do not pay the money after working visit to the shops, where everything is free. And all just missing. Because people to limit their consumption to a minimum. By the way ...
Ambassador opened his folder.
 - Here's an article in a provincial newspaper - "Kamyshinskaya truth" - last week. I transferred analysts embassy. It is reported that in one of the stores in the city to a certain buyer did not have a pound of sausage. And note: military aircraft in the next town Kamyshin were taken to a hundred tons of sausages with Ukraine. Head of the city trade received the party reprimanded.
Ambassador closed the file.
     - What?    

           Yes I Am.      


 

                         


 

 



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