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My husband figured out how much to spend on vacation, divided the expenses in half, but when I could not pay, flew off to rest without me.
Tom, How to Make the Family Budget RightYou can study for years. New spouses are not always able to immediately establish this process. It is not surprising that there is often discord in young families. Something similar happened to Catherine and her husband, who treats the money issue very scrupulously. What happened and what led to their quarrel, read further in the article.
I recently got married, and my life gradually began to turn into a nightmare. After the wedding, my husband and I moved in with my mother. She warned us right away that we could live there until my little sister came of age. When she turned 18, her mother wants to sell the place and split the money between me and Vika in half. Ahead of me and Grisha waiting for a long 6 years, for which we must have time to save money for our own housing.
To be honest, I was a little scared of the prospect. I didn’t make much money, so I didn’t know how I was going to save for an apartment. But that wasn't the only problem. Right after the wedding, my husband said we needed to talk seriously.
He thought for a long time about how to make a family budget, and decided that we should contribute money to the general treasury equally. Grisha counted how much goes on communal, food, necessities. Even envisioned our common approaches in movies or cafes. That’s more than half of my monthly salary. In addition, it was necessary to regularly pay a certain amount in the account of our future apartment.
An unpleasant situation was slowly emerging. I really had to save badly on myself, but I was not discouraged. I have long dreamed of owning my own home. It's been a few years. During this time, Grisha and I have never gone anywhere beyond the dacha. So my husband is ready for a vacation. He sat next to me and said, “I’ve calculated how much we need for vacation.” Pay in half. I can pay my share now, I have already ordered a ticket. Did you get the money? Flying? ?
Is that possible? Grisha did not consult me about anything, just bought himself a ticket and put it before the fact. I had the impression he didn't plan to fly with me. Tickets were purchased to Turkey. Of course, this luxury does not shine for me. As a result, the husband flew alone.
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When my mom found out about it, she was in shock: "I don't know if you're a family at all or not?" So I stopped understanding that. But even that's not the end of the story. A couple of months after Grisha's vacation, my mom got laid off at work. Finding a new source of income at her age is difficult. So my mother asked me for help. I couldn't leave my mom or my little sister in trouble. And I immediately warned my husband that for some time I will not be able to pay for our future apartment. In response, instead of understanding, a mountain of claims and accusations fell upon me.
Grisha's serious quarrel said I had to grow up and decide what I wanted out of life. I don't have to provide for my mother. I need to think more about myself and move towards my goals. And then the husband added, "You have to conform to me." Find another job where you get paid more. We don’t live in a world where wives sit around their husbands’ necks. All are equal now, darling.” “
That was the last straw: I packed my bags and went to my mom’s. I thought she would tell me what to do. But the mother just spread her hands: “Daughter, only you decide whether you want to live with such a person.”
The next day my husband knocked on the door. He was very sorry and asked me to come back. He said he wanted me to get out of my comfort zone and feel real life. I don't know if I'm willing to tolerate this kind of treatment. I feel like I owe my husband something. He doesn't really give me anything, though. I didn't think that budgeting would be a sticking point in my family.
Life Wisdom: What does this story teach us? This story clearly shows what can happen if you do not discuss the money issue before the wedding. Agree, how to make a family budget, it is best to talk before entering into a serious relationship. After all, if the position of a person is not close to you, you simply will not develop a normal relationship. This is what happened in Catherine’s marriage.
What do you think a woman will decide if she will return to her husband?
I recently got married, and my life gradually began to turn into a nightmare. After the wedding, my husband and I moved in with my mother. She warned us right away that we could live there until my little sister came of age. When she turned 18, her mother wants to sell the place and split the money between me and Vika in half. Ahead of me and Grisha waiting for a long 6 years, for which we must have time to save money for our own housing.
To be honest, I was a little scared of the prospect. I didn’t make much money, so I didn’t know how I was going to save for an apartment. But that wasn't the only problem. Right after the wedding, my husband said we needed to talk seriously.
He thought for a long time about how to make a family budget, and decided that we should contribute money to the general treasury equally. Grisha counted how much goes on communal, food, necessities. Even envisioned our common approaches in movies or cafes. That’s more than half of my monthly salary. In addition, it was necessary to regularly pay a certain amount in the account of our future apartment.
An unpleasant situation was slowly emerging. I really had to save badly on myself, but I was not discouraged. I have long dreamed of owning my own home. It's been a few years. During this time, Grisha and I have never gone anywhere beyond the dacha. So my husband is ready for a vacation. He sat next to me and said, “I’ve calculated how much we need for vacation.” Pay in half. I can pay my share now, I have already ordered a ticket. Did you get the money? Flying? ?
Is that possible? Grisha did not consult me about anything, just bought himself a ticket and put it before the fact. I had the impression he didn't plan to fly with me. Tickets were purchased to Turkey. Of course, this luxury does not shine for me. As a result, the husband flew alone.
57When my mom found out about it, she was in shock: "I don't know if you're a family at all or not?" So I stopped understanding that. But even that's not the end of the story. A couple of months after Grisha's vacation, my mom got laid off at work. Finding a new source of income at her age is difficult. So my mother asked me for help. I couldn't leave my mom or my little sister in trouble. And I immediately warned my husband that for some time I will not be able to pay for our future apartment. In response, instead of understanding, a mountain of claims and accusations fell upon me.
Grisha's serious quarrel said I had to grow up and decide what I wanted out of life. I don't have to provide for my mother. I need to think more about myself and move towards my goals. And then the husband added, "You have to conform to me." Find another job where you get paid more. We don’t live in a world where wives sit around their husbands’ necks. All are equal now, darling.” “
That was the last straw: I packed my bags and went to my mom’s. I thought she would tell me what to do. But the mother just spread her hands: “Daughter, only you decide whether you want to live with such a person.”
The next day my husband knocked on the door. He was very sorry and asked me to come back. He said he wanted me to get out of my comfort zone and feel real life. I don't know if I'm willing to tolerate this kind of treatment. I feel like I owe my husband something. He doesn't really give me anything, though. I didn't think that budgeting would be a sticking point in my family.
Life Wisdom: What does this story teach us? This story clearly shows what can happen if you do not discuss the money issue before the wedding. Agree, how to make a family budget, it is best to talk before entering into a serious relationship. After all, if the position of a person is not close to you, you simply will not develop a normal relationship. This is what happened in Catherine’s marriage.
What do you think a woman will decide if she will return to her husband?
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