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Who we choose his favorite and why
In life we meet a lot of completely different and dissimilar people, but someone leaves us indifferent, and someone we will crush. Family psychologist Irina Chesova tried to look into the matter, and we Website
The same way. Sometimes it's hard to say why this person is interesting, why are we drawn to it. After all, in our choice of a lot of instinctive, unconscious. Each of us somewhere deep inside the stored images of the people involved in our growing up. This way, parents and other relatives left their mark in our destiny.
They often mix reality and children's fantasy, but these images we associate with love - such as we understood it, and what to give (or receive) a child.
The wounds of childhood. In psychology, there is an opinion that we have chosen a partner - is the "improved parent." That is, it is something very similar to our parents (and, therefore, we know how to interact with it), but something quite different, and not a short, it is even better than them.
If a child in a relationship with Mom and Dad us something much is not enough, the deficit we will seek (still unconsciously) to fill in the union with the beloved.
It is very interesting that we feel in his chosen home, in many ways similar to our soul and at the same time he seems to be complements, "completes" us, because it has qualities which we ourselves are not well developed or not developed at all. And we, in turn, "being finished" him: he is persistent and determined, and we lack the hardness, it is reasonable, and we are more impulsive, he is reticent, and we have a lot of spontaneity, he's tough, but we are flexible.
I can not remember where I read almost brilliant "People joined as a puzzle: where one bulge at the other -
Other people by nature complement each other? By this logic, if I limp on the right foot, and you are on the left, then together we will be able to quickly walk and even run. On the contrary, the history of a plurality of marriages shows that harmonious relations in the pair does not contribute to the difference, namely the similarities partners. And highlighted three main qualities on which partners are well would be the same.
First - heat or cold in terms of temperament.
The second - degree of openness.
And the third - the extent to which partners jealous.
The union of two people nerevnivy also has more prospects than the "mixed" options. But studies that would objectively confirmed that different people in a pair complement each other, I have not seen.
Vadim Petrovsky, a psychologist, a transactional analyst.
This is like a theater play that we opt for those who are able to play in our performance, with whom we feel a resonance who know the text of his role, complementing our own. But, as in the theater, this is not always life performance - lyrical comedy with a happy ending. Sometimes it's romance, and sometimes tragedy. It all depends on the script, which we with her partner and write together.
Opening each other. The relationship of two people - a living organism that develops and sometimes sick. May recover or may die prematurely. At the beginning of the relationship, being in a frenzy of feelings, we do not see flaws in a partner.
And here there are two ways: to disperse in disappointment and go in search of a new ideal. Or learn to negotiate, to respect differences, to accept the imperfections of one another and to recognize the right of everyone to the nonideal. It is important not to alter his chosen not to lose sight of its strengths on which we can rely for a living and that we once drew it.
There is nothing more precious than to see the good qualities of a partner, which we are deprived. On this basis it is possible to build a Union in which people support each other. And collected in the treasury of living together does not hurt and claims, and ways to cope with difficulties, fond memories, moments of intimacy, joy and love.
The secret to a successful, prosperous Union
Author: © Irina Chesova
Photos in the preview: pinterest
via www.pinterest.com/pin/323625923197154948/
If a child in a relationship with Mom and Dad us something much is not enough, the deficit we will seek (still unconsciously) to fill in the union with the beloved.
It is very interesting that we feel in his chosen home, in many ways similar to our soul and at the same time he seems to be complements, "completes" us, because it has qualities which we ourselves are not well developed or not developed at all. And we, in turn, "being finished" him: he is persistent and determined, and we lack the hardness, it is reasonable, and we are more impulsive, he is reticent, and we have a lot of spontaneity, he's tough, but we are flexible.
I can not remember where I read almost brilliant "People joined as a puzzle: where one bulge at the other -
Other people by nature complement each other? By this logic, if I limp on the right foot, and you are on the left, then together we will be able to quickly walk and even run. On the contrary, the history of a plurality of marriages shows that harmonious relations in the pair does not contribute to the difference, namely the similarities partners. And highlighted three main qualities on which partners are well would be the same.
First - heat or cold in terms of temperament.
The second - degree of openness.
And the third - the extent to which partners jealous.
The union of two people nerevnivy also has more prospects than the "mixed" options. But studies that would objectively confirmed that different people in a pair complement each other, I have not seen.
Vadim Petrovsky, a psychologist, a transactional analyst.
This is like a theater play that we opt for those who are able to play in our performance, with whom we feel a resonance who know the text of his role, complementing our own. But, as in the theater, this is not always life performance - lyrical comedy with a happy ending. Sometimes it's romance, and sometimes tragedy. It all depends on the script, which we with her partner and write together.
Opening each other. The relationship of two people - a living organism that develops and sometimes sick. May recover or may die prematurely. At the beginning of the relationship, being in a frenzy of feelings, we do not see flaws in a partner.
And here there are two ways: to disperse in disappointment and go in search of a new ideal. Or learn to negotiate, to respect differences, to accept the imperfections of one another and to recognize the right of everyone to the nonideal. It is important not to alter his chosen not to lose sight of its strengths on which we can rely for a living and that we once drew it.
There is nothing more precious than to see the good qualities of a partner, which we are deprived. On this basis it is possible to build a Union in which people support each other. And collected in the treasury of living together does not hurt and claims, and ways to cope with difficulties, fond memories, moments of intimacy, joy and love.
The secret to a successful, prosperous Union
Author: © Irina Chesova
Photos in the preview: pinterest
via www.pinterest.com/pin/323625923197154948/