Odessa inimitable wit post

so skillfully answer any question and appropriate humor can only Odessa and the specific dialect and local expressions have long been known far beyond the city.

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• - Solomon! I am fat!
  - And how you determined that you're fat?
  - I can not get into your old wardrobe!
  - God, Sofa! Well, buy a bigger closet! - Izzy, and you sho 40 years yet still living with his mother?
  - Oh! Vaughn Prince Charles, too, lives with his mother and did not regret it. - Aunt Fira, yet what you do in Odessa?
  - I've got his job!
  - And Shaw is?
  - We are neighbors do at the entrance of the news! - Izzy, I'm invited to her, shoby you drank to my health, and you drink a glass of the sixth!
  - Rose Sorry, but you look so bad!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • In the dark alley robber stops Jew:
    - Give me the money and do not try to make noise! ​​
    - Oh, you sho! I have nothing against shoby of being robbed, but I have no money with you ... Come on, I'll have you.
  • Odessa. Announcement on the newsstand:
    "Went for lunch. I will when I get back «. - How to cook an omelet in Hebrew?
    - To begin to engage in a neighbor 3 eggs ... - Sarochka, say you have a gift to seduce men.
    - Free?! - Mony, you live by the law or conscience?
    - I beg you, on the situation, of course! - Tsilechka, expensive, and this soup is not exactly spoiled?
    - Zalman, eat not worry, tomorrow still off!
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    • - Oh, Rabinovich! Your face is so reminds me of Paris!
      - Shaw do you mean by that?
      - So you want to go! On the show "Smartest" to the question that excess among the words - carrots, onions, potatoes, and "Lexus" - a fifth grader Izzy said: "Carrots, onions, potatoes." On the morning of Odessa on the asphalt courtyard there was an inscription: "All men bastards!". Following someone has added: "You, Sarah Abramovna also not a gift!». - Abraham, you lend me 10 rubles to the environment?
      - And I need it? And so I do not sleep!
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      • - Fima, I was such a fool in his youth ...
        - Do not worry ... You are now younger look! - Yasha, you still have your mouth open, call Semotchka the yard! - Sarah ... You know, I'm paid well, and I contain quite another woman ... What do you say?
        - Perfectly! I'm calling your mother, let her stay with us .... Grandma Sonia liked Skype.
        - No, you still see what a thing! And like we have guests, and feeding is not necessary. - David, I now had a dream about your wife.
        - And what she had to say?
        - It seems nothing.
        - Then it was not my wife - my Rose always has something to say.
      • The door of a neighbor's child knocks Goldman:
        - Solomon Abramovich came to visit us, and Dad asks you for a spin.
        - Well, Itzik, I'll disguise myself bring.
        A little humor Odessa: Odessa connected
        School wit in Odessa
        If you learn the wisdom of life, then the citizens of Odessa
        
        via www.adme.ru/svoboda-kultura/esli-uchitsya-zhiznennnoj-mudrosti-to-u-odessitov-1023560/