25 lovely fresh jokes straight from Odessa!

They say that Odessans do not have a bad mood. Taki Website Let the reader see this personally!



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In the photo studio, Moisha comes to Rabinovich:
- Take a picture of me like this, I looked heroic!
- Good. Let's put roast chicken and vodka on the table, and you'll look away proudly!

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- Fima, I hear you and Cile had friction?
- We did, but in a good way.

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— Sema, what is the percentage of the population of Odessa?
10% Russians, 10% Ukrainians, the remaining 80% are local population.

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- Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to Deribasovskaya?
- Is this your first time in Odessa? They do not go to Deribasovskaya, they walk gradually to Deribasovskaya!

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Madame Ziegelberg congratulates her neighbor on her birthday:
- Sofka, beauty to you, love, money, mind! You already have everything else!

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- Hello, is this youth radio?
- Yeah.
- And now everyone hears me?
- Yeah, you're live.
- And the shops and the markets?
- Yes, in the shops and the markets.
- Okay. Don't buy milk, my grandmother already bought it.

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On the street there is an old Odessa with a stick - barely moving his legs ... On the other side of the street, a guy overtakes him. Odessa shouts to him:
- Young man, are you going to the laundry room?
- Laundry room.
- Then you'll follow me...

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On Privovoz:
- Buy your wife roses!
- I have no wife.
- Then your fiancée!
- But I don't have a bride...
- Buy the joy of having such a quiet life.

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Odessa. At the traffic lights stop "giguli" and "Ferrari". The driver of the “Zhiguli”, an elderly Jew, twisting the handle, lowers the glass and knocks on the window to the driver of the “Ferrari”. He presses the button and lowers the glass. The driver of the Giguli asks:
- Listen, young man, what is this car?
- Ferrari!
- What's all this shit?
- ??
- I look at the roads, it doesn’t hurt that people buy it.

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Odessa. A man in the Old-Cone Market is looking at wavy parrots.
- Will these parrots chirp? And talk?
- Young man! You asked me, and I'll tell you. Are you married?
- Yeah, sure.
- Not enough?

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Odessa, early evening. A young man is going to meet a girl.
- Borya, I ask you in human language, take a flashlight!
- Mom, why?! It's still very light outside...
- So it's light now, and then it's dark... You want to compete with your brother Sema?
- And Sema?
- And Sema didn’t want to go out on a date with a flashlight either – and you see who he brought into our apartment!

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Sarah, you just went to the red!
- Izya, breathe with your nose, you don't need a mine to vomit on your nerves for such trifles, room cock. I could see with my ears that it wasn’t that red.





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via factroom.ru