15 new jokes, which dispel the boredom of everyday

Site ? - Nope
. - A candle
? - Also no
. - And the lamps
? - Young man, this is the district administration! We have nothing sacred!

***

- And is it true that all the wars in the world because women
? - Of course. Narozhat fools!

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Her husband lost his wallet.
- Yosya, the first time I watch this generosity to strangers
. - Celia, still worry that the premiere of silence

. ***

Oranges are 85 rubles, cucumbers 240. Nobody knows the recipe hash with oranges?

***

In our yard there are homeless. I sometimes fertilize it. Today comes to me and says, "On! I stole for you! "And gave me a bottle of" Bayliss. "
Here it is, the power of friendship ...

***

- I'll make you happy
. - You buy viskarik
? - No, really happy
. - I will not lie, no viskarya little chance

. ***

Worth Rabinovich in his garden and buried the money. His neighbor and asks:
- Michael, what are you doing? It will soon come communism, and the money never will!
- And I will ...

***

Every time I come out of the barber shop, I was tormented by one question: why I was asked how I want a haircut ..

? ***

- My son, there is no Santa Claus. All the gifts you gave to my mother.
- Dad, robbers either. All the furniture I changed to heroin.

***

Citizen Ivanov organized a drunken brawl, came to the police, where and rose to the rank of Major.

***

Morning. A guy walks into a beer store:
- Hello, doctor

! ***

Beetle dung on March 8 rolled wife rafaelku.

***

The guide on the Red Square:
- Pay attention to the ugly ruby ​​decorations on the walls of the pompous. On the worn cobblestones. The building behind us unworthy of even a glance at him, clumsy church. And over there is the so-called Museum of History, where historic - just the ticket collector ...
Newbie:
- You are what carry
? The guide (in a whisper):
- Shh, it's a group of St. Petersburg

! ***

- I know it's stupid, I hasten events, because we are meeting all week. But maybe parted?

***

Well never work! I wanted to sleep - lay down to sleep. I wanted to eat - went to sleep. I wanted a new computer - went to sleep

. via factroom.ru