Two aneka quite good;) Bashny.Net

Once I arrived to the school commission. The teacher concerned for Vovochki behavior in the classroom and said to him:
 - When I ask a question, you can answer that, if only a well-confident in his answer, and do not swear!
 - Well, pigweed Ivanna!
 In biology class (in the classroom Commission):
 - Children of any prehistoric animal, you know?
 - T-Rex! - Says Peter.
 - That's right, Peter! Five.
 - Saber-toothed tiger! - Says Masha.
 - That's right, Mary! Five.
 Little Johnny pulls his hand. The teacher (with alarm):
 - Yes, Little Johnny, listen ...
 - I know! Mammoth !!!
 The teacher is shocked (carried by):
 - Well, Little Johnny, sit down. Five.
 The lesson continues. Marya asked to name other prehistoric animals.
All children are again called Little Johnny pulls back his hand:
 - Again, I know !!!
 The teacher (now relaxed):
 - Yes, Little Johnny, tell me!
 He:
 - Papont !!!
 - Little Johnny, this time you're wrong, it was not such a beast!
 - There was! I know !!!
 - What kind of animal do you think?
 - This is the one who is a mammoth e * !!!

Freaky hangout. A pile of needles scattered around the room, tablets, etc. Belomor
 People sitting on chairs stoned, sticks.
Suddenly I take off all the windows and doors, flies SWAT:
 - Everybody on the floor !!!
 All suddenly come to life, falling on the floor and only one type of sitting and eye did not lead to a situation all.
 - On the floor!!! The command is given to all !!!
 Type of sitting and not steamed. If I could blink.
Then he arrives this normal flow on the forehead, and he do not care sitting and sitting.
Machine gun fire in the ceiling and hit in the head with his legs. Type falls to the floor and hang around vspine ax.
 - Who killed him? !!!
 Silence.
 - I'm asking!!! who killed him? !!!
 Silence.
 - Schaz wet all Nahr WILL !!! Who killed him? !!!
 Answer Spolli:
 -Slyyyysh Sheeef, Nuu chёё you orёёёsh that. UNON has killed us prishёёl.