Scientific theories of origin "lamer than usual"

Version Bible

In the beginning was Lamer. Lamer begat users. The user begat Hacker and his brother Kracker. Hacker begat sysops. Over sysops ordered and he became a sysadmin. Sysadmin begat provider. I saw Internet providers, and said that it was good. Then he saw the Lamer provider, and said that it is bad. Lamer same root cause and the source of all ills sysops, SysAdmin, provider and the Internet in general, became a follower of commandments:
"Be fruitful and multiply." Lamer and bred on the web Nemer.

Darwinian version

Modern scientists have found that different people are descended from monkeys of various species. Haprimer tribe lamer comes from monkeys fold. Like their ancestors, lamer hold large flock complied with tribal relations.
Engaged in gathering, hunting and fishing. But it turned out they ill, so lamer had to raid the neighbors users.
They believed in a higher power, bearing the name of Sysadmin, and many deities of lower rank - sysops.
 Lamer also believed in "paradise" ("rulez") - where in the afterlife lamer meets a dual-processor Pentium Pro c 2GB, free dedicated channel 2 Mb / s, or at least a connection 33600, monitor 21 inches and dad provider, and "Hell" (or "Mazday"), where Lamer awaits a terrible punishment in the form of 286-th without a coprocessor, a modem 2400, no parity, and 20 megabytes of email from angry sysadmin, which "does not uplocheno six months."
 The nearest neighbors are lamer, users have evolved faster. And while, as the user has learned to make their own meals using domesticated animals such as "mouse" lamer used to shoot down the last palm nuts with. So terribly jealous lamer users. Advanced tribesmen ignominiously expelled from the flock, shouting after him, "the user-moderator!", Or simply eaten.
However, it was thanks to a coincidence lamer were invented digging stick and joystick-thresher, a log-scraper and the wheel, but unfortunately, these lamer name history has not preserved. And since most of them prefer physical strength lamer power of thought, not wasting energy thinking, and punching walls and getting your text to binary, the result limbs lamer become tenacious and fast, and the brains of the mutated atrophied.

Version historical

Postulate One: lamer knows very little.
 Postulate Two: lamer sure knows a lot.
 Postulate Three: din lamer loyalty first postulate is impossible.
 Postulate Four: lamer if resigned to the first postulate, it is not a lamer.
 Postulate last: lamer all discoveries happen by mistake.
 Example: in an era of great historical discoveries lamer one decided that he could open a new route to India. He did not bother to thoroughly examine the navigability and navigation charts.
Smart people tried to persuade him not to do anything stupid. Lamer would not lamer, if listened to smart people. He outfitted four ships and set off across the ocean. The way people were dying, sinking ships. As a result, half dead from fever lamer saw the earth and confidently called it India. Lamer, of course, wrong. So Columbus America was discovered.

Version biological

Lamer ordinary (lamerus vulgaris - Lat.) - Warm-blooded wild animal family members. Build: dohlomorfnoe. The volume of the brain: the brain is not found. Existence of tail: no.
Existence horns: probably. Limbs - 4 pieces, right front ends of two or three-button odd appendage manipulator.
 The scalp: the fugitive. BELOW back - corpus education. Paradigm: sluggish. Hibernate the word "Unix". At the words "tisipiaypi" and "Ziska" observed excited mydriasis. Habitat: IRC. Way of being: a parasite on the provider. Activity shows during the day. The ability to reproduce: multiplies viral way. Lactation: None. Configuration: non-expandable. Speech: rudimentary. Rumor: developed, keen, receptive to the entire frequency range. Reaction: inadequate. Coordination: violation.
 Features: once a year, in spring, there is increased activity of these creatures. Lamer get in packs and huge herds flock to the area of ​​the embankment of the Moscow River, to the Expocentre. Pets are trying to get to the exhibition "Comtec" rush to the fence, security guards, gnaw holes in the concrete, showing the beginnings of intelligence, getting tickets. Once inside, sweep away everything in its path, stuffed pockets and bags badges, brochures, price lists, and press releases.
 Hapadaya on the mouse-pad, grab it with loud cries and sharp. All strive to drag the prey to his nest. Raving madness lasts for a few days. Then lamer disappear somewhere - unknown. Rather, they came running to catch the wave of the Moskva River. This achieves a natural balance population. It is recommended that the content in closed enclosures, in complete isolation from the personal electronic computers and especially - from servers, the contemplation of which leads to the rupture of the heart lamer.

Version paradoxical - lamer need!

The conclusion from the above suggests this: lamer - being useless and sometimes even harmful. Nevertheless, wherever you spit everywhere lamer. Hikakimi dusts, Ryde, traps and their passwords is not known.
But really lamer - it is useful. Through dialogue with them at sysops and system administrators develop speech reaction, intuition and memory. Thanks to them, eager to Internet service providers are getting richer. In addition, there is a healthy competition, because each has a small chance of lamer ever become users, and there to sysop, you see, will grow

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