The story of a woman who is afraid of growing old and becoming like her mother Bashny.Net

Each of us knows what resentment is . This feeling is felt most acutely in early childhood, when any negativity is perceived especially close to the heart. A child can purse his lips and cry over literally any trifle. Then, over time, we learn to perceive other people's words and actions more and more calmly. An adult can stop being offended altogether. When you're an adult, you don't get offended, you just draw certain conclusions. No more and no less. A very useful skill, by the way.



Peels Although it would, of course, be stupid for us to speak for everyone. Naturally, there are also people who, even with age, do not stop being offended. Sometimes on business, and sometimes because of sheer trifles. And you also need to find your own approach to them. What if it’s your relative, friend, boss or upstairs neighbor? People need their own approach. All that remains is to somehow discover it. Not everyone can be callous these days. Some perceive everything on a completely different level. So it’s worth trying sometimes to avoid negativity.

What is resentment? I'm 45 and I never thought I'd say this, but I'm starting to fear getting old. Overall, my life was pretty good and successful most of the time. It's a sin to complain, I tell you. Normal childhood, growing up and marriage. A wonderful husband with whom we have two children. A wonderful home, financial success and the opportunity to see the world. In short, I have all this. But my fear of old age is not related to material things. I am afraid of my “autumn” because I am afraid that I will become, like my mother, an eternally dissatisfied woman with a broken character.



But genetically I have every chance. Our consciousness is a complex thing, and it does not change immediately. Slowly, very slowly, but over time we turn into completely different people. These are those evil old ladies who constantly strive to humiliate everyone around them on public transport. Were they like this when they were young? No. Or pensioners storming clinics in the morning because their little finger itched? They weren’t hypochondriacs 40 years ago either. It’s just the way their body behaves now. Peculiar.

My mother, thank God, does not have any physical or mental disabilities. No, she is quite a vigorous woman who has barely turned 65 years old. But her character became, so to speak, very peculiar. For some reason she began to take everything too personally. So much so that it is now very difficult to communicate with her. My husband, for example, although he respects her, always calls me to the phone if my mother calls. Otherwise, problems begin. “Misha, why are you screaming, and why don’t you hear what I’m saying? You're kidding me, Misha! I won’t call you again!”

In general, my mother became very touchy, and it all started about 10 years ago. My father then left us, and my mother had to live alone. Don't think, I, of course, help her. She has a nice two-room apartment, renovated. In addition to the pension, once every couple of months I send her money to her card. So, financially, everything is fine for her: she has no need to look for discounts in the supermarket, as other pensioners do. But how can this be done without creating drama once again?



A couple of years ago, my mother adopted a nobody’s puppy, which she found near the entrance. She began to look after him and treat him. Overall, she knows a lot about medicine. So I didn’t stop her, I even bought dog food and some consumables for treatment. As a result, the room where the animal was located was completely dirty. The wallpaper is torn, the floor is chewed. But the puppy himself never recovered and died. Well, sometimes there is something to be done. Then my husband and I hired a team to clean out my mother’s living space. If only her home was clean and pleasant to live in.

For several months my mother was not herself. I was very sad for the yard puppy. And then I decided to give her another puppy, from the kennel. Expensive, but vaccinated against all diseases, with normal genetics and very cute, to be honest. But my mother “turned on” the offended woman and accused me of not understanding her grief, and that a new dog was disrespect for her feelings and generally “spit in the face.” Now Snickers lives with us, and I am very happy about it. And mom continues to “grieve.” Although I have a feeling that she has long since forgotten about that puppy.



Peels Just recently it was my birthday. Just turned 45 years old. At this point I will try to take a short break. You see, for our family, my husband’s work is very important. Since I am a housewife and do not bring money into the family budget, everything rests on my spouse. It was thanks to his professional success that we raised two children, bought a private house, a car, and generally feel quite free financially. Here. And, in fact, mom is quite aware of this. So try not to judge me too harshly any further.

It so happened that we decided to invite my bosses and some of my husband’s partners to my holiday. It was a convenient day, a day off. To promote my husband up the career ladder, the step was quite well thought out. In addition, we decided to simply postpone my real holiday, for “our people”. A couple of days ahead. So what? All friends and relatives were warned. Including mom. But she alone made a tragedy out of this event. She can't do it any other way.

We chatted on the phone for an hour and a half. I proved, begged, begged, screamed - nothing helped. “I want to attend my daughter’s birthday, that’s all. This, by the way, is my holiday too!” Well, how do you imagine: a dinner party, a bunch of moneybags with their wives or mistresses, expensive drinks, discussion of business... And a mother telling everyone how her flea-ridden pet died, and complaining that her own children rarely visit her. Although I personally live two kilometers from her house. And meeting for a walk has never been a problem. But these are details; you can’t make a sad story out of them.



By hook or by crook, I tried to calm my mother down and somehow change her opinion about celebrating my birthday. She even offered a bribe: to buy her a new dress. In the end she agreed, but refused the gift. For what? She was also satisfied with the fact that now she could take a black grudge against our entire family. This is much better than, without spoiling anyone’s mood, arriving at the appointed time in new beautiful clothes.

As a result, we celebrated everything as agreed. An easy, quiet party, not without incidents, but only on the part of the guests. This suited us. Of course, it was strange to see strangers at your holiday, but what can you do? It's just a date. Just think, saleswomen at kiosks sell goods for the New Year. Do you think they are not offended? But the real celebration of my birthday will not come until the day after tomorrow. I have already prepared and ordered most of the dishes. This is all settled.



However, I still don’t know how my mother will behave and whether she will even come. We talked on the phone, but she practically didn’t listen to me. She simply threw out short, bilious phrases and sighed for a long time. I have no idea what's on her mind. You could try to come in, but she won’t open the door. In general, even though I’m older now, I feel like I’m about to take an exam at school. We also had one teacher there with a “peculiar” view of things. I hope the holiday will still be a success and my mother will forgive me.