How to get married: a guide by A. P. Chekhov Bashny.Net

The website publishes the instruction for wishing to marry from the classics (including) satire.



Since the subject of this article is male secret and requires serious mental effort, which many ladies are not able to, then please fathers, husbands, okolonauchnyh guards and so on. to observe that ladies and girls in this article have not read.

This guide is the fruit of a single mind, but is the quintessence of all existing oracles, physionomic, cabalistic and long conversations with experienced men and competent moderateincome fashion workshops.

Introduction Family life has many good sides. Don't be her daughter's life would live on the neck of their fathers and many of the musicians would sit without bread, because then there would be weddings. Medicine teaches that singles usually die mad die married, not having to go crazy. Idle straightens his tie maid, and a married wife. The marriage also his accessibility. Can marry rich, poor, blind, young, old, healthy, ill, Russian, Chinese... the only Exceptions are mad and crazy fools, idiots, and brutes can marry as much as they want.

Manual ICaring for a girl, pay attention primarily on appearance, because appearance is recognized the character of the person. Differ in appearance: color of hair and eyes, height, gait, and special signs. Hair color women can be divided into blonde, brunette, brown hair, and so on. Blondes are usually well-behaved, modest, sentimental, love Papa and Mamma, crying over novels and feel sorry for the animals. Character straightforward, beliefs strictly conservative, with the letter Yat is not in harmony. To others love they are sensitive in their own love, they are cold as fish. The most pathetic moment, the blonde can yawn and say: "don't forget to send tomorrow for a pair of shoes!"

After marriage, they soon turn sour, get fat and die. Fertile, philoprogenitive and whiny. Husbands of infidelity do not forgive themselves readily change. Wife-blondes commonly mysterious, suspicious and consider themselves martyrs.

Brunettes not considered as blonde. They are mobile, fickle, capricious, quick-tempered, often quarrel with his mother and beat cheeks of maids. Begin to "not pay attention" to ugly men for 12 years, learning bad, I hate classy ladies, I love the novels, and pass the descriptions of nature and read a Declaration of love five times. They are ardent, passionate and love with passion, headlong, breathless...

Wife brunette is the whole Inquisition. On the one hand, such a passion that devils feel sick, moods, outfits, reckless logic, squeal, squeak... With cheating husbands put up soon, and pay them the same coin.

Brown-haired women from the blondes are gone and the brunette came. Be somewhere between the two. Consider myself a brunette. Redheads are evil, deceitful, wicked, conniving... Love without deceit do not understand. Usually are very well built and have on the whole body the gorgeous pink skin. They say that the devils and goblins definitely marry redheads. Where mendacity, there is cowardice and cowardice. Good enough to shout at the redhead ("I am!"), so she curled up in the fetal position and began to kiss. Don't forget that Messalina and Nana 1 was red.

Hair when the choice of a wife is also of no small significance. Hair smoothly combed, sleek, with white parted signify the naivety, lack of desires... This hairstyle is the most popular objects y sweet, Lavochkin and merchant daughters. Trimmed strand of hair down to the forehead, means vanity, pettiness, narrowness of mind, and lust. This strand is commonly trying to hide a narrow forehead... Hairpiece and all the ornaments of other people's hair speak for lack of taste, lack of imagination, and that the hair interfered with the mother. Hair combed from back to front, I assume in a woman the desire to please not only the front, and rear. This hairstyle, if it is not done hard tower of Babel means the taste and ease of disposition. Curly hair speak for playfulness and artistry of nature. Hair sloppy, sklokina implies doubt or mental laziness. Under bobbed hair hiding way of thinking.

If a woman is bald or Seda and at the same time wants to get married, it means that she has a lot of money.

The smaller hair pins, the woman is more inventive and the more likely that it is not other people's hair. Now about the eye color. Blue eyes languishing mean faithfulness, humility and meekness. Bulging blue are the most popular objects in women, gamblers and corrupt. Black eyes indicate passion, temper and cunning. Note that smart women are rarely black eyes. Grey are segoleh, Caspian gulls and fools. Brown suggest a love of gossip and the envy of other people's outfits. Growth high. Tall women rude and hurting, a little, in most cases are Egoza and love to scream, scratch and let the studs. Humpback avoid these evil and vipers.

Gait hurried, looking back, speaks of frivolity and levity. Lazy gait occurs in women, heart which is already taken, then you won't have lunch. Gait utichye, perevalnom and wagging of the bustle, is a sign of kindness, give and sometimes stupidity. Gait proud, Swan happens with these ladies and concubines. Than specifie gait in mean older and richer landlord. This gait the mean girls conceit and narrow-mindedness. If a lady does not go, and floats like a Peahen, then turn the shafts: she fed and comforted, but certainly will take under the Shoe. Special features are not numerous. Dimples mean the flirting, the secret sins and kindness. Dimples on the cheeks and narrowed eyes promise a lot, but not for the Platonist. Antennae say about infertility. Long nails are shirkers. Fused eyebrows mean that the individual will be a strict mother and a furious mother-in-law. Freckles the most popular objects seen in red the Hellcats, slaves and fools. Sdobrenija and chubby girls with outline cheeks and red hands naive, you make four errors, but they soon learn the oven delicious pies and sew my husband a velvet waistcoat.

Guide II can marry without a dowry. To marry without a dowry anyway, that honey without a spoon, Shmuel without pace, boots without soles. Love itself, the dowry itself. Request from 200 000. Stunned by the figure, start to bargain, to break, to genitality. Be sure to take the dowry before the wedding. Don't take promissory notes, coupons, promotions and every hundred-ruble note feel around, sniff around and look for the light, for there are cases when parents give their daughters fake money. Besides the money, buy a bigger things.

Wife, even the bad must bring the following:

a) plenty of furniture and a Grand piano;

b) one featherbed of Swan down and three blankets: silk, wool, and paper;

C) two fur cloak, one for holidays, another for everyday life;

d) more tea, cooking and dining utensils;

e) 18 shirts from the best Dutch surface finish; 6 jackets of same fabric with lace trim; 6 jackets of the Nans; 6 pairs of trousers of the same fabric and the same pairs of English chiffon; 6 skirts from madapollam with firmware and skins; dressing gown from the best Batiste-Victoria; 4 voluptuary from Batiste-Victoria; 6 pairs of trousers canvasobj. Sheets, pillow cases, bonnets, stockings, cotton dress? skirts, garters, tablecloths, handkerchiefs and so on. must be in sufficient quantity. All this he observe, think, and what would fail, immediately claim it. Baby clothes don't take, as there is a sign: there is a linen — no children, have children — no bedding;

f) instead of dresses, a style which soon is changing, demand of cloth in pieces;

g) without silverware don't get married.

Married, whether my wife is strict and fair, don't let her forget and every time misunderstanding tell her: "don't forget I'm blessed!"

1885

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