Hardness of male in all respects

A very interesting article about the hardness of men's Vyacheslav Gusev, a psychotherapist, which is read by both men and women



When a man asks me how he solved some difficult and challenging question: for example, quit smoking, I'm always interested in:

"You have a way to offer - male or female?" "Of course men" - the man responsible. "Oh, then it's simple. When you are determined to do it - you approach a close friend and say, "Help me brother. I decided from that moment not to take a cigarette in his mouth. If you did once you see it - I give you my car. You will see a second time - take my apartment. You'll see a third time - I give you all of their property for a year I go to wander. If I do not, I ask you as a friend to stop me, as my friend, and considered a friend, do not contact me in the masculine, but call me what a pretty woman's name, such as Isadora. Yet you can give me some beautiful kolgotochki ».


"A feminine way?" - Asked the man. "Oh, a woman is incredibly difficult, she has several years to go to the personal therapy, and continuously aware of the reasons for delay the time of the decision».

In this story, the essence of man's hardness. If a man is able to do so in my example - he is able to act. And then it becomes interesting, even to friends, even women, although the universe. The act from the word "Go". Making steps. If the husband, the one who is a woman, in order to drive - you need to do. Otherwise, running on the spot with apparent achievements. If we take as an example of Andrei Sakharov: to create a hydrogen bomb - it was not an act only to achieve, but to become a peacemaker price just acquired - undoubtedly act. This is not to quit smoking.

In my polushutochnoy history of smoking there are a few important points:

1. The moment of the first. To stand firm, to have a little egg.
Even the example on this development, as in my example, a man is forced to go somewhere deeper into himself. Find a source of support, the legendary beam Shiva dense stream of concentrated male energy. His only reliable support in this changing world. If the male consciousness in contact with the inner concentrated stream - a man appears basis. It does not contact - his consciousness really looks like cloth, the legendary metaphor that so often appears in women's insults in the men's address. Rags always need something external to it hang.

I'm going to say the obvious thing. It is strange that nobody before me did not. Anyway, I have not heard. All this bureaucratic institutions, all of this notorious, swear all the system originated in the modern world for one reason only. It replaces the missing man's hardness. "But let your communication be, yes, yes; no no; anything more than this comes from evil "- it was said in the Sermon on the Mount. All these signatures, seals, certificates, government officials, lawyers are needed for one simple reason - the men in our culture do not keep their word, since the task of keeping the structure of the male mind, create support. If men do not - there is a need for artificial instruments. That they take - the children. Crafty kids.

2. The second aspect of this Example - price. The universe is fair and merciless.
Like the man or not, he uses the masculine aspect of consciousness or not, it will be presented by him to the fullest. The account in the form of life circumstances that will emerge as if he is the very hardness, compassion, humility, wisdom, or any further aspects of the male way. When you realize that the account will be presented to the full, you realize the idiocy of giving up men. Score still come, sometimes at the most inopportune (the appropriate) time. Remember the phrase Major Zheglova of "The venue can not be changed": "Remember, Sharapov. Punishment without guilt does not happen. He had just time to deal with their women and guns do not scatter, anywhere. " A thousand times, "Yes!»

When I got to pay his first major score in life, I suddenly realized that was absolutely deserved, all my previous life earned the trouble that I have nothing to complain and blame all my moments of undeveloped manhood accumulated over my life, and I it's time to pay the bills. Initiation and nowhere to dump. Blame can be, but in this case, double or triple initiation may be incompatible with life. And no one is to blame.

Women have exactly the same story. Woman enjoys full aspects of women's consciousness or not, sooner or later it will get to the payment billed as absolutely one hundred percent woman. The game is a game.

The main task of man in terms of hardness - to be alive and solid, that is elastic, flexible.
That is the difference - fortitude and strength of character. Character - hardness is dead once and for all decisions taken. Hard and cold-hearted man - a tyrant. No one any pleasure or benefit from such hardness.

The hardness of spirit - this agreement with the soul, the ability to exercise even at the cost of its intention to transform its own nature. It is only reasonable firmness.

The main task of women to be alive and soft.
That is plastic. This is a natural manifestation of the feminine consciousness - seeks to complete the free energy all around. In many cities, in different training, when I asked the women to draw feminine energy, I saw the same process: the woman took crayon, mostly orange and began with undisguised delight sketch white sheets of paper, one ends - took the next and so until tired. And no harness energy.

In co-elastic and plastic manifests the beauty of the dance of male and female. If there are two hard - there is a clash against each other and scatter like billiard balls. If two plastic - stick together in one piece of plasticine.

A man with a child have to be firm, to find the flow of the male energy within themselves, well before the inclusion in the game. Then he will be able to take their first baby, but men's decisions.

However, the most important male and female initiation - first relationship. Nature has provided everything. Lesson masculine hardness and feminine plasticity. If it is not hard enough, and it is flexible enough - they do nothing. One confusion. The main lesson of women - from a meeting with his firmness, "If I want to deal with it - I will be hurt, that I was not sick, I have to become plastic. And it's nice. Due to its hardness, I'm learning to be a woman. Wow! How cool! »

For those who do not know "stupid" in Latin - "a solid».

The main lesson from the man's meeting with aspiring woman, a very difficult lesson for man, God what a hard lesson for man: "From the meeting with my hardness - a woman will hurt. If I'm not hard enough - it can not be a woman. If I'm not loving and compassionate at the same time - she hates all the masculine gender. Be it hard - really good! ».

In this difficult lesson male hardness. Whether we like it or not - when a man shows his firmness, someone close to him will inevitably ranitsya, ranitsya man himself. Until you learn to skillfully use this hardness.

That's the way the world - without the pain of growing up there. The art of being a man - to show as much firmness as required by his soul, and so little as possible to the surrounding ranilis not in vain. There is a social myth that you can find such a man, next to which a woman can not feel pain. Plastic mature woman - yes, maturing girl - to the extent which will trust in nature, not social standards and norms. With a man of whom do not have ranitsya - will have to be nursed.

If the men's initiation took place with a mature woman, painless, it can never understand what price to pay for a woman to be with a man. Do not respect the lack of plasticity of immature women of any age. Hurt for nothing. Without compassion.

Once again - the people surrounding a man: children, women, other men did not suffer from the hardness of men, but just by its absence. With a solid man hurts - but that's sweet. Too hard a woman from a rebound as a billiard ball. For everyone else, just his firmness and attractive. Attractive to children, women and other men. With a soft way - peting and no continuous sparring.

And the last - Psychosomatics. The lack of firmness in the mind - will inevitably manifest itself in the body. I remember a very difficult night when I had to stay for renal colic. It was the only time in my life. I am without any painkillers all night took the pain. I give her. By morning the pain had subsided. I called Crane: "Wow, how did you become hard, - she said, hearing my voice on the phone - you now have a much more difficult." I was not surveyed as never surveyed. Renal colic, but since then never repeated.

According to my observations - when a man heals their symptoms - he becomes more courageous when a woman heal your symptoms, it becomes feminine. So it should be.

Vyacheslav Gusev
Psychotherapist, Director of the International
Development Institute (Kyiv), the coach of the Moscow Institute
Gestalt and Psychodrama, business consultant

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