A single mother, as a sentence Bashny.Net

Every third Latvian family is a single mother with childrenA few months ago, Tanya's son, Anton went to study in Germany, and the mother suddenly left one. It is hard going through a separation from his son and wanting, apparently, to talk to Tatiana for the first time talked about himself, hiding nothing. However, she was the chief assessment and advice of another person – for her it was important to say what years was saved in the shower, what she herself was afraid to admit. Confessions of a single mother made a very different look at the desire of other women to give birth to "old age was someone to bring water".

 

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"I just realized now that Anton has grown and that he has his own life, Tatiana said, not noticing how her face run with tears. – I understand that he doesn't have to be tied to mother's skirt, but his departure suffer very hard. Too quickly he grew up. I did it t-shirt not washed, not to forget the smell of my boy. This longing my heart breaks that they are ready to drop everything and go after him. Antoshka – not only the meaning of my life: my boy taught me in a different way to look at life and treat her. When a boy grows up without a father, he intuitively begins to play the role of protector. I even sometimes felt that I'm a grown and responsible woman, and he, my little boy, before becoming the main man in the house".As "having children" single Single mothers were at all times, but in the last couple of decades it has become widespread. Reasons for a woman raising a child alone can be very different — from the banal divorce from her husband, or unplanned pregnancy before this tragedy. Tatiana was neither the one nor the other. She deliberately became a single mother.

This cute women initially had an awkward relationship with men. Perhaps because she was always modest and shy, and peers quickly carried on its brisk and bold friends. Maybe because every guy she met, Tatiana was evaluated as a potential suitor. To herself she always was very demanding, and the guy demanded the same. To and outwardly conformed, and family could contain. Her father often repeated: "I got married when I had a job, an apartment, where I was able to bring his wife. If you, Tanya, the groom will bring to us, we're not getting on".

Tannins peers and peers about housing and the prospects do not bother: favorite person around, and everything else will follow. Young families rented apartments, lived in the Dorm, slowly he got home. Tatiana had to go to visit them and be jealous, though good-naturedly. As time went on, her friends already had grown children, and Tatiana were in the endless search, the only "Prince". Then one day I realized: it's not Prince. Generally no. Those who care, don't like and who are like – alas, already, added. And again: 32 years old for woman is an age; not having now – then it will be too late. And Tanya became increasingly thinking about how to give birth to the baby. And just then turned up the case: a friend of Alka going with my daughter for a month to go to visit relatives and asked Tanya to "watch over" her husband.

One evening when there was nothing to do, Tatiana called Vlad and asked for a visit, promising a home-cooked dinner. Calm and thorough, the husband of a friend Tanya was always nice. In General, the joint cooking, flirtation ended predictably – bed. They continued to meet, even when I returned a friend of mine when Tatiana realized that she was pregnant.

Talking with parents was very difficult. The father immediately said, "Baby don't drop raise will help. But to you, the previous relationship will not." Mom, as a woman: first abused, and then I cried, sorry. So that people do not whisper behind my back and didn't wash Tatyana bone, it was decided to send her time to my mother's sister. The aunt was single and lived in Russia. Even came up with the story: like Tatiana went to relatives to visit, got married there and gave birth, and then went wrong – went back home.

Without a father The boy was born kripen'ka, very quiet, but Tanya gave birth with caesarean section.

"Mom and dad came to pick me up from the hospital, – says Tatiana. – Girls who gave birth to me, worried, beauty was restored, and I was calm as a clam. Remember, if I go out on the porch with me a nurse, whose hands baby house, see the father and mother. The Pope in the hands of flowers and chocolates for the doctors... And then I breaks. I've never cried. And then began the routine: feeding, diapers. My aunt helped only in the evenings, as it still worked. The year flew by. Antoshka, though the hassle of big and did not deliver, but like any kid, demanded many forces and time. When I returned home, it became easier – there are already helped mom. Very afraid of meeting with alkoy and Vlad – the baby was the spitting image of his father. Fortunately, they sold the apartment and moved in, starting to build his house, So we saw each other very rarely. Moreover, I needed to think, to live, and I seriously engaged in trade. But than we have in the city earn?

The baby grew so glorious that even my stern daddy thawed when played with him. And it was impossible to be different, looking at this smiling and rejoicing all face. Tosha Toshenka, my joy…

I always thought that raising a son without a father. But then one day... the baby was five years old, we went with him to the Playground. There is already one boy was playing with his father in football. Men – large and small – were talking about something else, a male, laughed. My Toshka could not stand it, ran up and was nearby. He was staring into those eyes, and my heart clenched from the pain. Only then did I realize what deprived my baby boy. He will have such a football, boy secrets that you can share only with his father.

And more. The first time I realized my dad, who tried to tell the baby father took him fishing in the woods for mushrooms, even agreed to a dog in the house to the grandson grew up surrounded by love and care. And if not for father, I would spoil the son with his boundless love, care, desire to control his every move and, even with good intentions, to protect from life's troubles and mistakes. My father taught Antoshka: "You are the future man and should be responsible for their actions". Father would not let me intervene when the showdown between the boys came to blows. Now, when dad is no longer alive, I remember thinking how right he was.

I don't like to give advice – everyone chooses their own path. I don't regret that twenty years ago, decided to give birth to a child without a husband. But only now fully understood, give birth to a child not to have someone under the age of water to apply, and to have someone to live for, someone to care for. Can not children to take care of life – they have the right to choose how to live. Taking care of kids, do not forget about yourself, otherwise they will go into adulthood, and you will remain with nothing".

A single mother, as a sentence The situation in Latvia is far from joyful, the statistics are shocking. Women in our country is 10% more than men. Our women are older and live on average 11 years longer, and a large part of the Latvian men suffering from alcohol, drug, gambling addiction, or just toadstool.

In our country is constantly growing proportion of children born in unregistered marriage. According to the last census, in Latvia, about 80 thousand of single mothers and about 10 thousand single fathers.

A single mother – it sounds as a sentence. Each of them have to answer the aching question: "Mom, where's my dad?". But the worst thing is the hypocrisy of society who like and need to improve the demographic situation and, on the other hand, it not only seeks to support single mothers, but also condemns these women for what they, supposedly, the fruit of poverty.

Every year in Latvia born about thousands of children who have birth certificate "father" column is blank. But if there are single mothers, there is a mark in the metric – so maybe it's time, finally, the state and status to give them, taking care and protection of these children themselves?.. published 

Author: Anna Romanova, P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki

Source: gorod.lv/novosti/263731-otkroveniya-materi-odinochki