Talking about educated people: What is the difference between a metrosexual and a gentleman Bashny.Net

When a woman proudly she opens the door and a man gets out of the car, not even going to shake hands with your date, I'm starting to think that with them something not so. Or maybe all the way? Maybe etiquette is a distant memory along with the Palace era and it's time to abandon it as a useless relic? Talking about this with a University lecturer Tatiana Eduardovna Lasecki about proper manners, decency, and true spiritual beauty.





Who is it?

Tatiana Lasiecka belongs to that rare type of teachers who remember the noble manners and lectures with enthusiasm. Even while studying in graduate school, she met with good manners the Moscow theatre environment, although it was an ordeal to get a pass in the Mat or "Contemporary" in the late eighties — early nineties.

Now Tatiana Lasiecka attaches to the history of world theatre students of BSU, and in Moscow participates in educational project "Cold mugs". In addition, Tatiana Eduardovna teaches rhetoric and modern etiquette. Who how not it, should be talking about good manners and proper upbringing? Welcome to the debate.

 

— What is your understanding of etiquette? Today, it is important for the Belarusians or has become part of the past as the Imperial House, the nobility, the Royal receptions?..

Etiquette today — the same as etiquette at all times. It is absolutely necessary for each person, unless the hermit, who wears rags and lives in a monastery on bread and water. In any society should follow certain rules. Of course, nobody says that they need to be absolute or bulging. But for an intelligent person pursuant to the rules of behavior in society is taken for granted by default thing.

I'm surprised when people don't understand why in Belarus to drive on the right side of the escalator. And still not tired to explain to the students that we have right-hand traffic. I'd be right in the subway wrote: "On the escalator stand to the right, and move if desired — on the left side". In this inscription there is nothing offensive. It is important to submit all etiquette rules are not in an insulting manner, not making a face like "I know everything, and you fools".

Of course, etiquette is needed. Another thing is that there are, as always, another side to the coin is when the interviewee talks to you distantly polite, knows all the rules, but it smells so inhuman cold and rejection of people that the rules are meaningless. Then it is better to break them, you know, show emotion, live feeling to the person, rather than coldly polite to show the world their superiority.

After all, what this "gentleman" rule? To rise above others, to amuse the ego, of the self to present to the world. But, as a rule, but the ego of such people to show nothing more. In the watered-down, sketchy, cold presentation of the rules of behavior lose their power and value because they are not based on love for people and love only to his ego. However, etiquette rules just have to consider the people around them.

Not to say that etiquette is a prerogative only of the Royal family and nobles. Just there very strict rules. There is a much more democratic norms of behavior, but still call a society woman, to insult the other person, tripped, not to arms, to laugh if someone slipped or fell, — it is absolutely impossible for a person who at least on some level, knows the rules of etiquette. Now the notion of intelligent behavior slightly blurred, and therefore it is important that you take a virtue and where you're going.

Again, etiquette can not be a rigid scheme, a "prison" of the rules. If people are stuck in the Elevator for fifteen minutes until the New year, perhaps some of them will not be very etiquette in words, but it will not pay attention if it solve the problem. If we, God forbid, the war in the trenches, no one requires you to observe the manners. In extreme situations, the instincts come out and the most important is getting a sense of self-preservation.

During the earthquake no one stands on ceremony, and it's forgivable. But there are also peaceful life, daily existence. My students told me about one company where they went to practice: "where all men stand, welcoming women when they enter the room. All the men let the women go ahead, open the doors to them. Joke very easily, not harshly. And there is such atmosphere!" Why do we need etiquette! The atmosphere is healthy, fresh and alive.





Who, in your opinion, the modern gentleman?

— Of course, this may not be the man slovenly, with a heavy smell and a huge belly that sometimes you want to substitute the truck. And yet it is only external things. It can be small, very skinny, unattractive, but if the gentleman lives from the male pole, the woman will always see and feel inner strength and energy on his part.

We are talking about the ability to protect, to lend a shoulder, give a hand, but to make it easy, but not deliberately. "Let's see how I behave! Did you notice how I am gallant with all the ladies? See how they like my tie and gray suit today?" No, it's not a gentleman! The true knowledge of good manners is not a demonstration, but the inner state, the inner masculine pole.

You can have a good smelling toilet water, to know every spot on your body to go to the gym, but that's not all masculinity, which the world expects from men. So "dandy" is usually sharply bounces when passing by car. He only thinks about getting splashes from puddles flew at him, completely forgetting that his lady is to come, and her white coat at risk. But the first movement of men — to protect, to cover themselves, to protect the weak. And it should be developed at the level of instinct. In war, it is good to be seen. One always goes on the attack and covers a someone: a nurse, a girl of eighteen, or soldier — and the other gets scared and runs away, seeking protection...

So I want to go to a gym — go. But honestly tell me, what are you doing this: to every girl demonstrating six-pack torso, or at the right moment to be quite strong and help the weak?.. There is a huge difference between a metrosexual and a gentleman. It is not necessary to follow every hair on his body and cutting his beard in the latest fashion. Although neatness is, of course, do not need to forget.

It is very important to me as the present gentleman indulgence to other people's shortcomings and vices, especially women and children. Lenient towards those who are weaker than you. A man should not be angry, to explode. The woman forgivable excessive emotions, and the gentleman — no. That's the way God and the universe, that woman is the weaker nature. Although sometimes circumstances put a woman in such a situation that she is forced to live in the men's pole. One of three children, responsible for their fate, it becomes what is called male carcass. Pianists talk about the manner of playing the piano. So men still want the male carcass, and female — female.

Unfortunately, many modern men have lost the ability to take responsibility for the most difficult part of life, and to do it easily, quietly, without nerves. This is the norm for gentlemen. As the nobility in his actions. Etiquette people cannot be ignoble.

Then, the men insufferable moods. The gentleman is a total absence of vagaries, forgiving and kind smile, facing the women, children, parents, elderly. The fact that girls are more forgivable at a certain age, gentleman inexcusably never.





— Now, gentlemen figured out. How to behave like a lady — etiquette woman?

Today the world is divided into two parts: there's just a lady, a business lady. Most importantly — never forget that the business lady is first and foremost a woman and only then head. If you remember this, it is possible to build your business — competent, modern, hard, — but stay in the female form.

Of course, to stick out their sexuality in a business environment a woman has no right. Now one very popular determination in the way a woman is "sexy". Yes, sexuality is given the woman by nature, but if it is in a public space, why this seductive side to stick out? First, the more the body is closed, the more the mystery and men's interest. It's not even my thoughts, and for centuries proven true. Secondly, if a lady of taste, she's not sticking out her sexuality is very feminine. Femininity is more important than sexuality.

A woman should not be a conflict person. In addition, the rules of etiquette don't allow the lady to a "securityware". For her organic easy breath and easy flow of the material.

Of course, society has more claims to women's appearance, but more important internal qualities. Dostoevsky's phrase "Beauty will save the world" in its female version is a beauty built relationships: with yourself, with people, with the world. Give yourself to the world and rejoice that you have such an opportunity. If you have at least one person improved mood today and it's different to have lived this day, you can take your human task is completed. While women's task is always broader: to rejoice and delight the world.

But in the end in a conversation about etiquette gender doesn't matter. The formula of modern human etiquette is universal for women and men: to take as little space as possible in the public space, more to say good about others than about himself, and more to do than to say.

— Say, we live in difficult times. Hard times is an excuse for barbarism?

— There is a wonderful poetic expression on this subject: "the Times did not choose, they live and die." In one old Soviet movie the father tells his son: "I Know no such time, which would prevent us to do the right thing". Human decency does not depend on the historical era in which he came, and even from the specific situation.

There are always people who act with integrity in all difficult circumstances, and there are those who go on meanness. To compromise himself can only be man himself. The main thing — to demand decency and the ideal relationship from yourself, not from others. One person, by and large, are not able to change the world, but their space clean, improve, develop and everyone can. And knowledge of simple rules of etiquette can help in this challenging job to be a man always and everywhere.published

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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Source: people.onliner.by/2015/12/18/dzhentlmeny-i-etiket/