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The women of the initiative delve into all spheres of the life of his "hero", the less remains a hero heroism as the place disappears feat. And if there is enthusiasm from your "happiness" in the relationship, then your man is a real hero, and this article is not for you (more can not read).

If a woman tired, disappointed and upset that the man stopped to develop (does not do anything and does not want to), then let's talk together.

When she was all "othotela" for both, and she alone "knows" how to properly everything should be, then the relationship goes both energy "going out" - she of exhaustion and lack of space on it for their own growth in the relationship. A man may not have enough momentum is driven in his direction, which may be alien version of Women on joint relations. In this case, the development is stopped and the "life" away from the union and one of them starts to wonder how to get rid of

"dead body of marriage."


When a woman begins to save, nursing and direct man - it deprives him of the necessary conditions for growth

. With this development, and what are the necessary and sufficient conditions in order that development happened?

Academic formulation of a textbook on psychology states that a necessary and sufficient condition for the development - there are the contradictions between the desires and capabilities. If you deprive man of this condition, its development stops. This applies to children and adults, as well as men and women.

This formula contains two aspects: the desires and contradictions.

1. The presence of desire is a necessary condition for "vklyuchёnnosti in life."

2. The presence of contradictions between the desire and abilities necessary for possessing desired, creates a situation crying out for growth and development.

The desire is necessary energy, and in the case where no desires, and no energy. Desire - is a celebration of life. Without desire there is nothing and there is nothing to celebrate.

There are individuals who desire in childhood suppressed, ignored, or have undergone a strong correction from significant adults. Such people are often very difficult to be in his life about which they dream. Without a conscious study of their needs without the painstaking work on healing "wrinkles the soul" and the rehabilitation of their own desires - happiness does not shine. Please do not confuse individual desires and preferences with generally accepted social scripts "successful person».

The criterion of how to distinguish between the social programs of their own desires is very simple: the availability of energy enthusiasm

. No enthusiasm, which is a must, as the air in order to overcome the chasm separating man and his dream - it means it's not - not yours. Desire can be of different scales and are not necessarily global. On the contrary, the study of their own desires begins, just as an example of simple needs, which can even be called whims, namely observation and their own everyday behavior and satisfaction of these "little things of life" accelerates their energy desires.

Symbolically, it is possible for the degree of "neglect of personality" to build a line of 5 archetypes growth:

VICTIM - Les Miserables - Adventurer - HERO - WINNER

. In this article, we will focus only on those people who can not or growths to the level of "heroes" and their caregivers, who provide them

"disservice." Very clearly harmfulness hyper-concern illustrates the situation of male / female relationships where the woman is taken to rescue and help her man masculine way. Masculine, is meant here the guide and training: how, where and how much. Male way - is very specifically and clearly "knowing", as it should be. At the same time at work (social realization) - this makes it, just effective

! She can help, as the masculine way and female. Can authentic and do what you want, in the flexibility of its nature. She can do everything on it and a woman, this popular folk saying - "what woman wants, God wants it» :)

However, in a relationship with a man it will be effective only if it agrees and is willing to learn from it. In this case, well, when personal relationships are excluded, because the students grow up and go. If a woman understands this and is willing to what a man will leave her heel, then there is no problem. When she realizes that separation is inevitable, then it will not be in this pain. On the contrary, his departure will be an indication of his growing up. But as a rule, a woman is not ready to be a mentor to such conditions.

Women tend to want to "eat fish and bone does not choke." This is a trap for the ambitious, muskulinnyh women. Why muskulinnyh ?! Yes, because - the permission, trust, and let-go, which are characteristic of feminine (feminine) women, not their "fad»

. Consider the options of relations with ambitious women. It should be noted that the ambition and competitiveness - it is the quality of our muskulinnoy (male) side of the psyche. And if this state is not only a woman builds a career and personal life, the happiness (what is feminine) does not happen.

Three types of relationships where the woman ambitiously larger your partner:

The man - a victim / woman - controls MOTHER

He plays the game "All bad", while the word "all" can be decomposed into components picture of the world: I - poor / YOU - bad / WORLD - bad

. SHE his manic "feeds" the hyper-care and exhilarating, but not seeing results, falls to the criticism.

ITS illusion that it must be saved, and she is his savior.

The solution is to periodically (at least sometimes) to cease rescue, suspended, giving the territory and freedom of action. Most often ask ourselves: how can I help myself? What I do not let myself? What is not realized? I learned that the principle - "I want it to", already keying. Healthy our wishes heard - "I want to»

. Man - Les Miserables / woman - a good girl

He plays the game, "I unrecognized genius", or it can be decomposed into components picture of the world: I - good / YOU - bad / WORLD - bad

. She fights for what used to refute his distrust of life, trying his best to show by example that in her face good and kind world. The world is the way he wants it to be and it is able to evaluate his talent. She is ready to serve him faithfully, good behavior to encourage him to work and creativity.

ILLUSION her that she was his muse.

Out in the search polarity / opposites as a way of Muses-Fairy. Good periodically realize that BEAUTIFUL MUSE - this is not only true of her. What it is and others are not only positive emotions: anger, rage, irritation (fair situation discontent emotions). These emotions awaken the man and call on the rise, if he is certainly not set to parasitize. If it is set to "ah, leave the old lady! I'm sad, "you should understand that as soon as possible if the proper time of life for women is important.

The man - an adventurer (Orphan) / Female - "in a board GUY»

He played a game of "joint work for my benefit - brings together" and his self-esteem is already the case in the present high but unstable. It feels orphan who must help. It can be decomposed into components picture of the world: I - good / WORLD - good / YOU - bad

. She, his military friend, ready to be his brother and partner, investing in his time and money. At the same time secretly hoping that he will be a hero, all the results of his victory will bring to her feet, it will come to the winner, not as a partner, but as a woman. But becoming a hero, he often brings his "gifts" less business and more feminine women.

ILLUSION her that she was his mother tongue (sister / brother), and relatives do not betray.

EXIT in the knowledge that "no one, no one, nothing should be." When it comes to personal relationships, then do just what would make a gift, knowing that gratitude and would not return. Respect his freedom and self-sufficiency, more than it ought to.

OUTPUT, I call here, creating the conditions to exit relations to a new quality to the next level line-VICTIM Miserables - AVANTYURIST- GEROY- WINNER

. And remember, no one, neither man nor woman can not compel, force, smanipulirovat other without negative consequences for themselves. Only the man himself decides how to dispose of their lives. Even with all your good intentions, you can not deny human contact with his fate.

Author: Natalia Valitskaya