Double cancer survivor from Minsk says that no one wants to know Bashny.Net

For 20 years, Irina Zhikhar double cancer survivor. And during that time it acquired the meaning of life. Today, the former onkopatsientka helps not to fall spirit of those who are about can break. Tatyana Guseva recorded her monologue.

"I opened the card, see the diagnosis and lose consciousness ...»

The history of her illness began when Irina was 27.

- I went to graduate school, she worked in an elite school. I was the bride ... I put the preclinical diagnosis: cancer of the parotid gland, the fourth stage. Then it turned out that only a third. No one is to blame but myself. If my priorities in life have been correctly placed, once I have addressed to the doctor, feeling that something was wrong. Benign tumors have removed, and all the treatment would take three days. I myself brought himself to such a state.




When I was sent to the hospital, I was crying. What treatment, if my life is already planned out? The doctor decided that I know his real diagnosis, gave a card in hand and sent to the X-ray. A man in the queue to see my tears, decided to calm: "You do not understand my happiness! What are you crying? If you had cancer, you would have the card on hand was not given. " I automatically open the card, see the diagnosis and lose consciousness ...

I remember, and went into the woods, go for a long time, I thought, to tell my mother. When I came back to the hospital, the doctor gave me a hug, "I thought you went to drown»

. - So tell me, do I have cancer? - I asked. If the doctor said, without delay and with downcast eyes, I would believe that I do not have cancer.

Oncologists always assess the psychological state of the patient, before telling him the diagnosis. Well, I knew him because'm the type of person who should understand the risks and dangers. Otherwise, I would not appear desperate desire to live. I think you need to talk to the patient about the diagnosis, whatever it was terrible, because nobody - neither doctors nor relatives - has no right to dispose of the life of another person.

Favorite people could not bear this burden. He did not have the courage to say that he does not need a sick wife. He wanted me to itself decided whether to be with us. Because cancer patients how to quit? You will all blame: we have a common circle of friends ...

A few years ago, survived the second disease cancer, Irina Zhikhar began working with cancer patients in groups.

- Defeat the cancer - this is not just to recover. It means to change their attitude to life and to understand: "Why did you came into this world and you have to do?". That's how I decided to reorient its way to the public sphere of oncology. The first family ganged up on me. They brought my mother with my newspaper interview: "How can she talk about it out loud" - did not understand. Mom tried to explain to them that I want to help people. But they did not understand.

... Mom's care gave me to feel like this - do not be one in the disease. When your loved one is sick ... I realized that I felt that those around ... Impotence, helplessness ... - Irina does not hide the tears. - Diseases showed me that I should be in a life time to make a major, but not all that I want

. Belarus did not exist groups, where women who have had cancer, worked with new cancer patients.

- In our country, it is starting to do Iryna Kazulin. As onkopatsientka she knew how important it is for people to support each other.

I can not explain to a healthy person, I feel during chemotherapy and after it, and when we are together with someone is experienced naturally share their experiences. The consequences of cancer treatment is very individual. Its peculiarity is that there is no standard reaction. If you do chemotherapy does not necessarily fall out hair. But while you will not pass the course of treatment, you do not know about it. So at each stage of treatment.

"Unfortunately, our cancer patients are silent»

Irina in her endeavor was supported by doctors.

- Physicians need a voice to heal the patient. Otherwise, how to prove that cancer is treated?

Two years ago, Irina has headed a special "Support Center cancer patients»

. - Unfortunately, our cancer patients are silent. Someone is afraid to jinx it. Someone believes that cancer is contagious. Others, knowing the diagnosis, can not look you in the eye, because for them you are already dead. Calls to your friends, asking how to persuade the girlfriend of a cancer patient, so she talked to her. You either onkopatsientka tell: all of us have friends who, having learned of your diagnosis, no longer communicate with you

. The media often write and speak about the death from cancer. And the fact that a person has lived for several decades after he was diagnosed (possibly never having won their bad habits), no one seeks to understand. But be sure to write: he died of cancer.

Even then, in 2011, when we started to create a support group with cancer patients, 30 people I one was willing to speak to journalists. Today it is a couple of dozen people who were diagnosed with "cancer", dare to speak out in the press.

"For cancer that sent me, not homeless or alcoholic?»

- A believer knows that he is a sinner. But he also knows that not a hair falls from his head without the knowledge of God. From this understanding, that if God sent this test, then it gives you the strength to cope with it.

It is terrible when a person believes disappointed. Our people believe that faith - it is insurance against diseases and misfortunes. And when it does not work, they stop believing. I watched it many times throughout the year and a half, while undergoing treatment.

When I was ill for the first time, I drive themselves the question, "what in the pit?" I remember the surgeon, who told us with his mother, that only 5% probability that he will keep my face. I remember the first time I prayed - at dawn before the operation. And when she came to, she heard the voice of a happy surgeon: "You're going to smile!".

Mom after admitted that she knew it would. On the day of surgery, she prayed and heard a voice: "Everything will be alright»

. I often hear the question "why?" The women argue, "I am faithful to my husband and children are well brought up, go to church, make a donation, and suddenly God sent disease. Why not send the homeless? What do I?. »

This is a common human weakness. whether a person will be able to rise above it? Do not look at the homeless, alcoholics, rapists, murderers. You are responsible for your life, and they - his own. And then the offense "for what?" Go to the question "why?". For me, the question "why?" Has ceased to exist.

The big problem Belarusians - to navigate in their lives than their own individuality, uniqueness, and public opinion. It turns out that the most important thing - that say about me around. People do not want to admit the thought that came into the world with its mission, and it does not depend on what people will say about you. People relieve themselves of responsibility for their lives. With such a mentality is not to defeat cancer.

When a man becomes himself, takes himself with all his strengths and weaknesses, he stops to think, as he left. He every day of his life filled with meaning.

For the three months allotted to her Audrey Hepburn (she had inoperable cancer of the bowel) wrote the book "Life as told by herself. Declarations of love. " The dying man speaks of love. And who beat cancer? Anyone who has lived 30 years after treatment, without understanding - why. Or she has lived for three months, leaving a legacy? When I feel bad, I read Audrey Hepburn. Her book - a source of optimism

. P.S. Assembly of self-help groups are usually held on the basis of territorial centers of social service or public libraries.

People talk about their own experience in fighting disease. Lectured local specialists of Oncology Center, specialized departments of hospitals, polyclinics.

It works "School of cancer patients," On the basis of the Minsk City Clinical Oncology Center. Threads are formed on the basis of patient preferences; question can be asked in person or on oncopatient.by site, send an e-mail.