Deficiency of gratitude. Bashny.Net

There is such a feature: in some partner pairs is considered that thanks are due only to extraordinary deeds, a kind of mini-feats. Regular, routine daily life and actions taken as a matter of course that does not require the attention of the other partner.

For example, daily washing dishes wife, cleaning, playing with children are often treated her husband like that, for it is not necessary to thank. But if it will make something of such things ... Then we can say thank you, yes. A delicious soup prepared (despite the fact that she just got off work) - so this is the way it should be. And then these husbands wonder why at some point, women respond to some indescribable fury on their proud words that "Today potatoes cleaned, therefore wrong to say that I'm not helping." Once. For a month ... Is this "feat" is not worthy of evaluation and approval? - Genuinely surprised men
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On the other hand ... My husband was busy all day in the kitchen, wanted to surprise his wife, cook, set the table. The wife comes home from work, sees all this ... and gives a commentary: Well, once you are worthy of this ... And then, trying concoction already without that discouraged men, says: "I wish I had prepared ..." Then she angrily declares that her husband help around the house does not want to.

A lot of examples given - not even the demonstration, I guess. They can be reduced to the two ways in which people manage not to express gratitude to the partners or other close people:

1) Do not ignore or accept done it for granted. "And what is this I should thank him, because he did something that is part of his duties, which we blurts!" So, what you should do, thanks to the other side does not deserve.

2) devalues ​​what has been done or is being done, pointing out the flaws and shortcomings. One teenage son, who did not differ desire to get out of the house, took and remove the entire apartment. Mom came and looked, and, without saying anything about the order, asked: "Why are the shelves dust is not wiped away?" And she sincerely believes that doing a good deed, "He - well, of course, but I wanted to show him, the best! »

Do not overpraise wife - relax! Do not say a kind word to her husband for what plows at work - a real man and should do. And so on and so forth. The result is a shortage of gratitude, devaluing everything that humans do in life together, and leads (among other factors) to mutual alienation and even anger.

This is so cool to hear from a loved one that he / she appreciates the most ordinary, undistinguished, routine activities. Hear from her husband how he was pleased to return home to prepare dinner, which is very important these chores for him. From his wife - thanks for keeping order in the house (for example, cleaned socks).

There are many wonderful words to express my gratitude: "I appreciate your concern for our children", "it is important to me that you tried so hard to provide for our family the best," "I love it when you ...", "I like …", "Thanks for…". However, if these words for a long time in the family do not sound, the second partner to whom they are addressed, they can be taken for mockery or completely ignored, and ignored by thanking gratitude stuck in the throat. The ability to take a different appreciation - the second component of thanks, no less important than the ability to express it
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The life of men and women who are long time together, sooner or later begins to consist mostly of routine: and it is very exhausting and energy expending most of his life. It is very important, in my opinion, sometimes reminisce about it and appreciate the small daily deeds.

Ilya Latypov