ADDICTION. AS we depend on other people's opinions? Bashny.Net

"The opinion of other people about us - this is the mirror before which pose almost without exception. Man makes himself as he wants to be seen. This is how it really is, unknown to anyone, including himself, and often, and lives and works some invented and embellished figure. This desire for deception is so great that a person brings a sacrifice to him, distorting his nature, even himself - a unique and unrepeatable, is what every human being ».
Alexander Elchaninov priest
I do not know whether you can often find a man who would have been completely free from the views of their surroundings. Among those with whom I talk, there are none. Each segment of the life path are people who have an impact on the formation of us as individuals - some help to be born, while others set the direction of growth, and still others suggest what to do in any given situation, adjust the motion path, if we deviate from the intended target, fourth teach love, fifth left even some trace in our hearts. How important is their relationship to us? I think so.

At times it may seem that we are completely independent of what they say or think about us the other (the idea of ​​fighting for some independence popular these days), but when faced with a negative reaction to our words or actions, often have unpleasant feelings, and then comes the understanding that it is not so simple, and be free of other people's opinion. Whether we like it or not, life is arranged in such a way that, in addition to each of us on planet Earth is home to seven billion people, and if we act without taking into account the interests of other living beings, it is unlikely to lead to anything good.

Ability to build a harmonious relationship with their environment - a good indicator of a reasonable person. In this issue (and any other) balance is important - learn to keep their borders, to monitor the internal state, to be in harmony with yourself, but try to live in harmony with those who are growing and developing together. Living so naturally learn to consider other people's opinion, but not to fall into dependence on it. Learn to listen and hear what is being said to us - a good lesson, I tell you :) And very helpful in the process of personal evolution.

What others say about our appearance, our relationships, our work, our life as a whole? Yes, a lot of that will say - are eligible. Another thing, what kind of reaction their words evoke in us? Resentment? Anger? Protest? The desire to justify or prove a point? It happens in different ways depending on our mood, status and level of inner awareness. I think here it is important to try to get to the reasons for their reactions to the words or actions of another person. From the outside, we "catch" is possible only when there is a hook inside. The space around us - a large mirror, which helps to detect hooks on which we "sit." Remove yourself from the hook, learn to live in an adult position, which allows the other to be different, take into account their opinion, if necessary, adjust their behavior, but do not become discouraged if someone "did not appreciate his merits».

In the process of growth it is also important not to get a new hook, which is called "I removed myself from all the hooks, I am calm, I'm always calm, I now have no way to deduce from itself." Living people tend to err, err, experience emotional fluctuations, to be dissatisfied with something, feel the pain, fear, frustration - this happens with all of us, the only question is how long we remain in this state. If you're playing the victim, life is able to respond to external stimuli will take us oh so much effort, if we try to become the master of your life, then gradually learn to accept themselves and others with all the shadows, flaws and vulnerable sides.

Oh, and here's what to ask to pay attention! If we are constantly being told that by the opinion of other people are deeply indifferent, but we continue to behave as if the demonstration of indifference - the main business of our lives, is not it all? Relaxed attitude to external estimates appears rather in the fact that we continue to be in a good mood, regardless of the circumstances in which life places us. It should often ask yourself questions: "Who am I?", "Where am I going?", "What will be left of me, if you remove all the" spectators ", giving a positive or negative assessment of my words and actions?" If you understood the main thing, the rest is not so important ...

Do not sit in front of the mirror the opinions of other people about us, but we understand that the world around - a large magnifying glass, truthfully (and sometimes ruthlessly) demonstrates how far we have matured inside. Develop!