Bashny.Net
Futuristic thinking
Bashny.Net
All names are stored, all matches are without malice. I>
Hi! My name is Alexander, and I see the future. You just do not think I am not just any magician psychic fifth category guild Arduino second coming. I do see a future where focus. I do not know who sends me these visions: bearded guy in the sky, hellish stsotona, or the spirit of Richard Feynman seeps through the seams of space-time and slips my mind these pictures. I also do not know how all this bodyaga consistent with the many-worlds theory, Heisenberg's uncertainty principle and prophecy Vanga.
Many will ask, "Hey dude! If you really see the future, what the hell are you wasting your time on a post in Habr, instead of saving the world ?! "The problem is that I do not see global events. I can not predict the epidemic or war; I can not know that North Korea will launch a nuclear missile; even the extinction of populations of bearded hamsters in African savannas, I can not prevent. So I decided to get a job where my modest skills come in handy for sure.
Day One h4> Hell, to be a tester for a large company so cool! It all started with the fact that the guard at the entrance gave me a cross-examination with the use of techniques of suppression of consciousness, and then another, and searched my bag, focusing on "suspicious" seam in the top left pocket. We immediately see that this is a serious company that cares about the safety of their employees! When I finally got up to my floor, I was shown a table in a huge openspeyse and immediately issued computer. The man who brought me to the workplace, said goodbye: "Stay here, you will be contacted with," and in an instant vanished into thin air. Wow, I have to learn this steep office ninjutsu! We look forward to contact with me.
Second Day h4> For the whole day with me and have not contacted. I start to think that you forget about me. I decided a little tense, and see i>, which is now the office yesterday ninja. It turned out that he was already forty minutes drinking tea in the dining room. Great - now I know where we have a dining room! Imperceptibly With close to a small group that was sitting at a table covered with checkered tablecloths jaunty, I blurted out, "Hello!" Wow - I did not know that the person is able to jump to a height from a sitting position! "Are you crazy ?! descended Do not you see what we have here ... a production meeting? "I'm a little embarrassed," Oh, sorry. You just said that to me will be contacted. I waited all day, but no one came. "Ninja looked up at me surprised look:" So in fact too early! You until the computer is set up, while Visual Studio to deliver ... Three days pass. " Strange, just over an hour yesterday I put not only Visual Studio, and the Oracle client 12, SOAP UI, PLSQL Developer and a couple softiny, about which I know i>, that I need them. Anyway, in another sushi bar with their sticks do not go, wait for more.
The fifth day h4> To me finally came. Some gloomy guy zhahnul on my desk a stack of sheets of height thirty centimeters, and muttered: "It's PIM and HLA on task" Translation intersystem interactions with ISH on the SPA ". Protestiruesh APN-case transmission parameter on a financial platform when SCP-caller hangs in blocking immoral. " I was somewhat puzzled: "Why lock immoral?" The old man chuckled and muttered ominously: "That is, out of all this you are only interested in why lock immoral? Well, well. " And the solution. Hell, they have here is definitely the whole clan.
Day of the twenty-sixth h4> When I arranged to work a tester, I thought I could very quickly find all the bugs with their abilities. I just need to think about how I'm going to test some case, and I immediately know what goes wrong. However, all was not so simple. To test the transmission of APN-parameter financial platform when SCP-caller hangs in immoral locked, I had to first find out what the APN-setting, financial platform, SCP-subscriber and immoral lock. Applying tricks, blackmail, and in some cases even hypnosis, I have gathered all the necessary knowledge and was ready to start testing. I am somewhat confused by the fact that during those twenty days nobody came to see how I was doing, but my neighbor on openspeysu Witek just shrugged: "Yes you che, do not worry, right now, is only the beginning of the release! You can kick start yourself bolts and Taxco Taxco management! "Made a mental note to find out why you need to manage Taxco Taxco, I began to test i>. And, of course, immediately found a bug! Service provisioning system sends to the SPA yedinichku instead of "true". Well, what are you so development department, as could have been so wrong? The sun was setting, so I started a bug with a clear conscience and went home.
Day of the twenty-seventh h4> The first thing I discovered a bug yesterday to test the fix. However, to link the bug was not a single chendzhseta and flaunted in the history of recording: "We need logs OCat, OM, CM, facade and processor Workflow. Damn, how you teach ?! Ponabrali on the ads ... "And just below was another record:" I also will say all sorts of testers, where the right code - just ofigeli already. " And here I realized that I missed. I'm tested i> case with your gift - it took only half a second, and I never touched the mouse. To collect the logs have to really open terribly brake form, do magical acts, and then another half an hour to climb on the network balls in search of files with names like "OrderManagement.OperationServices.log.145". Well, do nothing. Rest of the day I manually tested the functional collected logs and applies them to the bug.
Day of the twenty-eighth h4> Today on the way to work I see i>, as she slipped on the stairs of the subway, fell and broke his leg. Of course, nothing in the end it is not broke, and I went to work in a good mood and with a new phone's address book. Smiling benignly, I opened daveshny bug. Well now, there will surely be corrected! Again, I do not guess. Bug hanging on a group of architecture with the comment: "Architectural bug. Correction takes 100 hours and will require a full run regression. TASK need to OM, Ocat, CM and OCF ». Yes, that is it! After all, I know i>, where you need to fix the code to make it work. Yes, after all the logs that I put even rhesus monkeys would know what needs to be fixed! Which one hundred hours ?! There are cases for five minutes, four of which will be collected build! It must be this something to do.
thirtieth day h4> Usually, I did not get such tricks, but he apparently helped righteous anger. I could be like look i> in the future, to see himself as an experienced programmer who can write on the thirty-two well-known and yet unknown languages, and then dump the whole experience in their current consciousness. I do not know how it works, and why time paradox does not annihilate the universe, but I got so podshamanit version control system that required correction just came i> in the code. After that, I returned with a clear conscience bug over and closed it with the comment: "does not play».
Day сто ninety fifth h4> Phew, the last six months have been kryshesnosnymi! Once I learned how to seamlessly edit the code, I was able to use his abilities to the full! For the first month I caught all the bugs of the current release. Then I razgrёb cemetery bugs that mistakenly called "group of architecture." Well, as a nice bonus last month I did a complete refactoring of the system: kosher implemented SOA-architecture, covered the whole test code, and has established a process Continuous Delivery. Although the last I almost did not sleep: it turns out, the head of the infrastructure so jealously watching his diocese, that I had to again use hypnosis to convince him that he came up with it all and set up.
Day one hundred and ninety-sixth h4> Today is the most ninja, whom I had not seen since the early days of his work, collected our testing department in a large peregovorke. Sitting comfortably in the soft leather chair, the chief immediately took the bull by the horns: "In general, it is. The country has a crisis, and superiors decided to reduce staff by 50%. As you know, we reduce the developers can not, therefore, decided to reduce the testers. " Here is a twist! I do not even know what to say. By taking our silence for consent, the chief continued: "In short, we decided to cut you for failing the job description." I finally gained the gift of speech: "Really? And what we do not measure up? "" Well, of course. Here you are, Sanya, signed job description? Signed. There was a point about the fact that the employee is entitled to a futuristic thinking, and anticipate the trends of the industry? There Was. Here you do not have a futuristic thinking, Sanya. The life of me - no. " I sighed and closed his eyes.
Hi! My name is Alexander, and I see the future. You just do not think I am not just any magician psychic fifth category guild Arduino second coming. I do see a future where focus. I do not know who sends me these visions: bearded guy in the sky, hellish stsotona, or the spirit of Richard Feynman seeps through the seams of space-time and slips my mind these pictures. I also do not know how all this bodyaga consistent with the many-worlds theory, Heisenberg's uncertainty principle and prophecy Vanga.
Many will ask, "Hey dude! If you really see the future, what the hell are you wasting your time on a post in Habr, instead of saving the world ?! "The problem is that I do not see global events. I can not predict the epidemic or war; I can not know that North Korea will launch a nuclear missile; even the extinction of populations of bearded hamsters in African savannas, I can not prevent. So I decided to get a job where my modest skills come in handy for sure.
Day One h4> Hell, to be a tester for a large company so cool! It all started with the fact that the guard at the entrance gave me a cross-examination with the use of techniques of suppression of consciousness, and then another, and searched my bag, focusing on "suspicious" seam in the top left pocket. We immediately see that this is a serious company that cares about the safety of their employees! When I finally got up to my floor, I was shown a table in a huge openspeyse and immediately issued computer. The man who brought me to the workplace, said goodbye: "Stay here, you will be contacted with," and in an instant vanished into thin air. Wow, I have to learn this steep office ninjutsu! We look forward to contact with me.
Second Day h4> For the whole day with me and have not contacted. I start to think that you forget about me. I decided a little tense, and see i>, which is now the office yesterday ninja. It turned out that he was already forty minutes drinking tea in the dining room. Great - now I know where we have a dining room! Imperceptibly With close to a small group that was sitting at a table covered with checkered tablecloths jaunty, I blurted out, "Hello!" Wow - I did not know that the person is able to jump to a height from a sitting position! "Are you crazy ?! descended Do not you see what we have here ... a production meeting? "I'm a little embarrassed," Oh, sorry. You just said that to me will be contacted. I waited all day, but no one came. "Ninja looked up at me surprised look:" So in fact too early! You until the computer is set up, while Visual Studio to deliver ... Three days pass. " Strange, just over an hour yesterday I put not only Visual Studio, and the Oracle client 12, SOAP UI, PLSQL Developer and a couple softiny, about which I know i>, that I need them. Anyway, in another sushi bar with their sticks do not go, wait for more.
The fifth day h4> To me finally came. Some gloomy guy zhahnul on my desk a stack of sheets of height thirty centimeters, and muttered: "It's PIM and HLA on task" Translation intersystem interactions with ISH on the SPA ". Protestiruesh APN-case transmission parameter on a financial platform when SCP-caller hangs in blocking immoral. " I was somewhat puzzled: "Why lock immoral?" The old man chuckled and muttered ominously: "That is, out of all this you are only interested in why lock immoral? Well, well. " And the solution. Hell, they have here is definitely the whole clan.
Day of the twenty-sixth h4> When I arranged to work a tester, I thought I could very quickly find all the bugs with their abilities. I just need to think about how I'm going to test some case, and I immediately know what goes wrong. However, all was not so simple. To test the transmission of APN-parameter financial platform when SCP-caller hangs in immoral locked, I had to first find out what the APN-setting, financial platform, SCP-subscriber and immoral lock. Applying tricks, blackmail, and in some cases even hypnosis, I have gathered all the necessary knowledge and was ready to start testing. I am somewhat confused by the fact that during those twenty days nobody came to see how I was doing, but my neighbor on openspeysu Witek just shrugged: "Yes you che, do not worry, right now, is only the beginning of the release! You can kick start yourself bolts and Taxco Taxco management! "Made a mental note to find out why you need to manage Taxco Taxco, I began to test i>. And, of course, immediately found a bug! Service provisioning system sends to the SPA yedinichku instead of "true". Well, what are you so development department, as could have been so wrong? The sun was setting, so I started a bug with a clear conscience and went home.
Day of the twenty-seventh h4> The first thing I discovered a bug yesterday to test the fix. However, to link the bug was not a single chendzhseta and flaunted in the history of recording: "We need logs OCat, OM, CM, facade and processor Workflow. Damn, how you teach ?! Ponabrali on the ads ... "And just below was another record:" I also will say all sorts of testers, where the right code - just ofigeli already. " And here I realized that I missed. I'm tested i> case with your gift - it took only half a second, and I never touched the mouse. To collect the logs have to really open terribly brake form, do magical acts, and then another half an hour to climb on the network balls in search of files with names like "OrderManagement.OperationServices.log.145". Well, do nothing. Rest of the day I manually tested the functional collected logs and applies them to the bug.
Day of the twenty-eighth h4> Today on the way to work I see i>, as she slipped on the stairs of the subway, fell and broke his leg. Of course, nothing in the end it is not broke, and I went to work in a good mood and with a new phone's address book. Smiling benignly, I opened daveshny bug. Well now, there will surely be corrected! Again, I do not guess. Bug hanging on a group of architecture with the comment: "Architectural bug. Correction takes 100 hours and will require a full run regression. TASK need to OM, Ocat, CM and OCF ». Yes, that is it! After all, I know i>, where you need to fix the code to make it work. Yes, after all the logs that I put even rhesus monkeys would know what needs to be fixed! Which one hundred hours ?! There are cases for five minutes, four of which will be collected build! It must be this something to do.
thirtieth day h4> Usually, I did not get such tricks, but he apparently helped righteous anger. I could be like look i> in the future, to see himself as an experienced programmer who can write on the thirty-two well-known and yet unknown languages, and then dump the whole experience in their current consciousness. I do not know how it works, and why time paradox does not annihilate the universe, but I got so podshamanit version control system that required correction just came i> in the code. After that, I returned with a clear conscience bug over and closed it with the comment: "does not play».
Day сто ninety fifth h4> Phew, the last six months have been kryshesnosnymi! Once I learned how to seamlessly edit the code, I was able to use his abilities to the full! For the first month I caught all the bugs of the current release. Then I razgrёb cemetery bugs that mistakenly called "group of architecture." Well, as a nice bonus last month I did a complete refactoring of the system: kosher implemented SOA-architecture, covered the whole test code, and has established a process Continuous Delivery. Although the last I almost did not sleep: it turns out, the head of the infrastructure so jealously watching his diocese, that I had to again use hypnosis to convince him that he came up with it all and set up.
Day one hundred and ninety-sixth h4> Today is the most ninja, whom I had not seen since the early days of his work, collected our testing department in a large peregovorke. Sitting comfortably in the soft leather chair, the chief immediately took the bull by the horns: "In general, it is. The country has a crisis, and superiors decided to reduce staff by 50%. As you know, we reduce the developers can not, therefore, decided to reduce the testers. " Here is a twist! I do not even know what to say. By taking our silence for consent, the chief continued: "In short, we decided to cut you for failing the job description." I finally gained the gift of speech: "Really? And what we do not measure up? "" Well, of course. Here you are, Sanya, signed job description? Signed. There was a point about the fact that the employee is entitled to a futuristic thinking, and anticipate the trends of the industry? There Was. Here you do not have a futuristic thinking, Sanya. The life of me - no. " I sighed and closed his eyes.
... i>
When the vision ends, I always have a little nips fingertips. And now I'm like come up from the well, opened his eyes and stared at his index finger, which was lying on a piece of paper with the words "Job Description". Finger pointing to a small list, which said about the qualities that should be possessed employee "futuristic thinking; the ability to see trends and patterns of development of the industry in the surrounding area; ... "The voice of the employee of the personnel department brought me out of reverie:" Well, you will sign or not? It's just a formality! Right now sign, and a week later will be able to go to work. " I looked at the woman and said thoughtfully: "You know ... I think I changed my mind to work for you."
Source: habrahabr.ru/post/251647/
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