Stories from kindergarten

Based on a true story. No, these were real events.

The first story: why I do not trust women?

The teacher in our group came up with fun: somewhere in the snow on the playground, she buried teddies, who finds - the fellow.
The children scattered on the ground in search of treasure. Someone dug snow, someone picking his nose, knowing yourself. Excitement, fun, screaming it was.
Mind, intelligence and agility at that age I did not shine, and is not bleschit. I was closer to the image of detachment, an autistic idiot who fouls if not for themselves - not bad. Hopes that the treasure I find it was not.
However, one of the drifts I saw uneven. What could it be? This profound thought made me pull your finger out of the nose and put it in a snowdrift.
Heart pounding, I was going around the crowd of classmates. They look at me, and I - the winner. I stand with the look detached, indifferent to all who are around me. Above his head, I keep my trophy - the elephant. As after the battle with the dragon, I was wounded, but survived the battle, and here it is a trophy - the heart of the dragon. It was nice feeling.
And here comes the teacher, takes my elephant, my victory, dignity, and all go to a quiet hour.
Since then, I do not trust women.

Story Two: I know what the boys are different from girls.

The idea was: a brave boy runs into the ladies' room, then runs screaming "I saw everything!". It was innovative, it is dangerous. The venture attracted mystery. But the boys cheated. Neither one of them reaches the women's stalls.
Feature plan was as follows: after the entrance was a waiting room in which there were washbasins. To get to the cabins had to cross the waiting room, then turn right, where was the goal.
Children Reaches only to the changing room, it was enough to prove his courage. And, of course, you have to be a fool to run to the end. But I do something about it no one said!
I bravely ran into the dressing room, heart pounding with excitement. He passed the sink and turned right. I went to a series of cubicles, which was empty, I was about to turn back when suddenly ...
Those eyes, I still remember. She did not say anything, did not scream, no reaction. Only his eyes, large, endlessly surprised.
From the ladies' room, I went in thought. I did not run. The step was measured and calm. The output of the boys asked me what I saw. I said nothing. So I started believed them too small, stupid, compared to me. That day I got older, as I found out what the boys are different from girls: girls do not have Pisek!

Story Three: I fucked up.

Just try to justify himself to the reader. I was maybe a little bit durakovatym and detached, but the main advantage of my thought that I could go to the toilet on their own. At the time, it all started as usual: I wanted to take a crap - I went to crap. I summed up my forgetfulness. I forgot to remove the pants.
When I realized my mistake, it was too late. Everything else started the quiet hour, and summoned all to sleep.
Thank seruna - is that threatened me. All classmates value our reputation. You could have someone else's saliva could smell the bunch, but serunom be impossible. This stigma is not burn, it would have haunted me until the end of kindergarten, then school, and maybe a lifetime.
And I decided to hide. Fairly smeared, I removed large parts and rubbed his underwear with toilet paper. No washing up, I ran a bullet into the bedroom, where jumped into bed and pretending to be asleep. My plan worked. Thirty children fell asleep. Between the beds I went to the nurse, straightening pillows and blankets.
So what gave me away? At 27, I often think back to this moment. I found the answer. I issued the inability to blend in with the environment, inattention to detail. And the stench. The room was quite hot, all the children were asleep not hiding. I was like a caterpillar. When the nurse tried to improve my blanket, she sensed that something was wrong. Strongly smelled a rat.
Then I washed, gave state-owned panties with the number 7. What was the previous six, for me is still a mystery.
My reputation was restored the following day. Some fool all peep show. About me forgotten.

drtiger86 ©





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