Game

Service abroad is always more difficult ordinary life, if only because of that you are constantly being watched. Step right, step left - and now there is a reason for an international scandal.
In spite of all educational measures taken by the command, a variety of instructions, regulations and manuals, surprises still happen sometimes, but still such that though stand, though fall ...

On the last day of the exercise, my father, then a lieutenant, he heard terrible screams. It does not have to be a rocket scientist to understand - Comrade Lieutenant-General something extremely dissatisfied.



caught his eye when he was in such a state is tantamount to suicide - in the best case such a meeting could end stretched sphincter and ringing emptiness in the head from shock decibels. But to find out what exactly had happened, it was very interesting, and even useful for the future, and my father, cleverly disguised in the folds of the area, went to the sound.
Within a radius of 50-100 meters from the general's tent was deserted, even the grass bends to the ground, that really there to talk about a variety of animals and other ordinary personnel, who simply waited the storm, huddled on the burrows, boiler room, kitchen and pretended to rags.
Near the tent he stood with bowed head, a senior lieutenant in a tank helmet and picked the ground leg, his whole appearance saying - I cho? I nicho!
Before starleya carefully shook the air General:
 - There, where Makar calves did not drive! On North! Back rub against the earth's axis! No, I will refer to some bunkers! On the submarine portholes wipe! WC lung strength to blow! Tanker fuck!
Father listened with interest to the speech memorized monologue and momentum. So ... the future.

***

Here is what happened:
The minister of Foreign Affairs of Czechoslovakia there was a holiday. Whether a jubilee, or significant public day is, in fact, it does not matter. The important thing is that he has collected in his country residence of heads of embassies and consulates all sorts of different European countries and arranged buffet with all the consequences.
Perhaps having learned from the Russian, he organized a cocktail reception after leaving the total in the country, not only fun, but also with health benefits to spend the day. The evening was part of the same and hunting. But not as respectable people, burdened with age, dyspnea, alcohol and beer Bellies run in waders in the woods with guns blazing in search of game? Of course not!
Everything has been thought out, including this time. With the help of the Czech military in the near range were installed tents in tents rushed foaming waiters with drinks and snacks, and at the test site, facing the forest, were dug very comfortable such comfortable trench for hunters for shooting from a prone position with the knee. There have already been laid a good hunting rifle, and while the guests warmed up and dials the excitement before the hunt, hunters with dogs drove in the direction of the polygon a small herd of deer heads that way for thirty, forty ...

Senior lieutenant Makarenko, the commander of a tank company, together with his company handed back from "excellent" to the location of the shooting. Broken forest road is not a problem for the tank, and Makarenko, leaning on the belt out of the hatch, resembled a pirate himself, standing on the bridge of the ship - walking through the forest rocked gently tank and engine vzrevyvaniya commander associated with the storm and growl salty wind. The illusion is complemented by periodic and slaps in the face of branches, well, just like salt water, tossed by the wind in the face of the Sea Wolf!
Senior lieutenant was extremely pleased with the day and held his men, for the excellent shooting lights thanks to him now and may even be an extraordinary vacation! It's time to dream about going home ...
But hark! What is it? What kind of sounds ?!
Makarenko sharply raised his hand, and croaked in the headset:
 - Column, wait!

From the forest came the clatter of hooves. Makarenko took a nose. Among the trees he flashed horned head, then another and another. GAME! Senior lieutenant suddenly with all the precision and clarity understand exactly what it is not enough at the moment to be happy! And do not even leave, no ... The ancient instincts woke him in the form of a traveling production. Makarenko nostrils quivered, already feeling the smell of roasting on a spit Venison ...
Deer herd jumping over roadside bushes, raced right in front of the head tank, appetizing waving his clippings, tails and loins.
"Without a garnish! How old! At stake fry without salt and pepper, and eat, tearing pieces of teeth, choking on saliva from greed. The main thing is to hold the eye, "thought Makarenko, and spent the last hungry look of a deer lurking in the woods.
 - Column! Do like me! - Greedy voice ordered Makarenko and tapped his hand on the head driver, - to turn to the left.
Tank, swaying and snesya birch barrel guns, spun across the road, after the deer. Everyone else did the same.
 - Wide chain, bypassing the herd from the flanks, ahead! - A broken voice shouted the commander, at the same time sdergivaya tower with gun case ...

Ten military vehicles, ryknuv engines, diesel fired black clouds and rushed into the forest. The herd. Behind them were ten for fresh glades. Barking dogs and screaming rangers senior lieutenant Makarenko has not heard, he was not up to it ...

***

Ambassadorial workers major powers of Europe, such as Germany, France, Italy, Spain, Great Britain, well-warmed alcohol content and steaming, arranged his mortal body in the trench, on blankets camouflage green. Next to each arrow was an assistant, ready to hold a weapon to wipe the sweat on his bald head, or the optics of the fume, and just ready to advise, in what is the direction of shoot.
First of talkies huntsman was told that the flock will enter the field in a minute, and then filled the air some strange cries, but it was too late - the bushes at the edge of the field, a few hundred meters from the point, and parted before the deer hunters appeared. Something which began impatient shooting, and then had a nightmare of Armageddon and quiet horror.

Wood growled, howled, shook and fell, bringing down trees, the clearing literally flew ten tanks, they walked a semicircle, holding a deer from the flanks, and led to all this some crazy Russian, foaming at the mouth to shout engines machines - he forgot about headset.
 - FIRE !!! - Cried Makarenko, and pulled the trigger gun ... Of course neither tents nor trenches ahead he saw. His eyes blanketed GAME!

The first understood the ease even more sober helpers hunters have had time to jump into the trenches to their wards and close head hands, and the German ambassador in Czechoslovakia ... He knew what the Russian tank attack. Ever since the war, he very well remembers how it looks and what could end, because as soon as he heard the familiar to tremble at the knees roar of the engines of Soviet armored vehicles, he said, not looking at a decent age and weight, pressing the belly to the ground, backing away like a cancer, for Minutes overcome on their bellies distance from the trenches to the forest, there hid in a ravine and stopped. They were looking for a couple of hours later it exactly, but found the calm, though pale, immediately obvious - people fought.
Foreign Minister simple and trite flopped in a swoon, and rolled into some groove, so missed the main fun. The British Ambassador, with all the inherent British coolness wrapped in green blanket on which he lay, and pretended to be a mummy, merging with the landscape.
Plump Italian Ambassador nonstop cursing him in all available languages ​​not only the time of the action but also a couple of days after that.
Hispanic rifle just hugged and prayed ...

A tank company, shoot all the deer finally stopped. From cars povylazili Muslim drivers, and began to throw the carcass in the armor. During the whole operation, timidly peeping out of the trenches hunters wondered what it was, but the voice did not apply. And it's true, why palitsya? Look at them, these Muslims still have knives ...

***

 - AS?! How do you fucking thought of this before, Hunter ??! This is an international scandal! - He yelled the general, Makarenko also prudently silent, looking down at his feet. - I ... I do not know. Can you imagine the headlines of tomorrow's newspaper? Big, bold letters there will be written "RUSSIAN start a new war with the whole of Europe", huh? "Mass shooting embassy staffers," exactly? "Why stutterers Ambassador of Germany in Czechoslovakia» !?
 - Sam will kill you! Personally! Strangled footcloths! Yet, thank God, there were no casualties !!! Fabulous luck!

While the general vehemently on the horizon reappeared signalman. He obviously had some urgent business, but he was afraid to go. Even walking on bent, so that in case of danger sdrystnut aside.
 - T-T-ing ... t-Comrade General! - I squeaked finally signalman.
 - Chtoo! - I turned general.
 - B-to-you to the phone ... It's urgent ...

Shaking her from toe to heel, the general still blown away, changed the color purple in the face with a simple red and went to the headquarters tent. A minute later, he came out of it, and the view at the same time had some peace and extremely thoughtful.
 - Listen, Makarenko, and where the game?
 - What?
 - Game, I ask where?
 - So it's ... the kitchen carried. Who cut up carcasses.
 - Take the truck. Take this very game, and drive on this here address. Game where you give, and we assume that the case is closed. I'll certainly punish. But the scandal will not be an international scale.
Senior lieutenant who had just been flogged by the sound wave, rolled his eyes:
 - Why, Comrade General?
 - Now call from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Ambassadors of the same composition as yesterday, continuing a holiday cottage Minister ... Nerves calm. It is said that we would like to try brutally murdered you venison. They also say that this attraction was nowhere seen, and also asked to keep quiet about the incident ... especially since the Federal Republic of Germany and the United Kingdom.

***

Handing venison, Makarenko each carcass accompanied with tears in his eyes ... But the hunt was a success? Is not that right?

drblack-saint

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