Jokes about Formula 1 Bashny.Net

Basic rules "Formula 1»:
1. The machine is red is always right.
2. Showdown between cars in red - it is the machines themselves red.
3. Machinery red is allowed to have only one team

Leases Coulthard rights. The examiner asks situation:
 - This is a crossroads, a tram here, here truck, motorcycle here. Who will pass first?
 - Schumacher.
 - Who ??? Damn, where Schumacher took here ?!
 - That's what I think, from where it is taken every time ...

In M. Schumacher asked:
 - Michael, how much time you need to be in Formula 1, to buy "Ferrari»?
Michael thoughtfully:
 - Well ... I think five or six years ...
 -?!?
 - The company is too big.

Scans Schumacher Autodromo in Russia before Moscow GP:
 - Yeah, but the tracks could be removed and ...

Ralph goes on country road at a speed of 101 miles per hour. It hinders police:
 - What are you doing? The speed limit of 65 miles per hour!
 - ABOUT! But it says 101 ...
 - Idiot, the number of the highway!
 - Opa! Then you have to stop my partner Juan ... He goes on 405-mu ...

Hakkinen Schumacher went camping. In the evening, we put a tent for the night. In the morning Hakkinen woke up, went out of the tent and saw that Schumacher is worn around the tent, followed by running Lion. Hakkinen shouts:
 - Bear, lion catches you!
 - Do not worry - meets Schumacher - I had three laps to overtake!

And so here is another twist,
Schumacher clears the speed and is in turn, the rate of 170.
Barikelo, successfully turns, speed 163.
And then the pilot flies on Russian Kamaz, speed 700!
With a cry of: 'X ... you got up here !!!', paves a new route!

The inscription on the tombstone on the grave of the pilot of Formula 1: "I was born and died of a broken rubber."

Two traffic cop, fans of "Formula 1", sitting in the booth and discuss the last race.
On the way racing a Mercedes, which is in three bands from side to side.
1st traffic cop:
 - Drunk or something?
2nd:
 - No, the tire heats.

Before the race Schumacher and Hakkinen talk.
 - Today I have to try - said Schumacher - will sit on the platform, my mother-in-law ...!
 - And you try, do not try to grandstand still not reach ...

It is worth Trulli at night beside the road, voice, stopped a taxi, there's just driving.
Trulli:
 - Oh, hey, you che doing here?
 - Oh, I earn ... Sit down'll drive!
Trulli:
 - Hey, can I also steer?
 - ???
 - And I have a steering wheel!
Trulli takes out of his briefcase and begins to wheel spin in sync with the simple. Next in the right lane going car, it looks totally out ofigevshy Schumacher. Still, going two and twist the two rudders.
Suddenly Trulli spins his wheel sharply to the right, Schumacher shies right and hits the post. Easy:
 - You Th doing?
 - Yes, to me yesterday just played a joke, one wheel was ...

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