Two stories .. Bashny.Net

A friend of mine at work after the festival went home on the subway. Entering the subway he was ready to go home, "Kiev" on the ring. Well, since the state of warmed - accordingly it is necessary to sit down and pokimarit. And a dream it, then, hears a monotone female voice says:
 - Sliding Doors, the next station "Oktyabrskaya».
 The idea: "In one go." Eyes closed. After a while, a dream he hears all the same monotone female voice repeats:
 - Sliding Doors, the next station "Oktyabrskaya".
 The thought: "It should be there because it was to get drunk and sleep through the whole ring! We must not sleep !!! ". And opening his eyes starts bdit. But the "approaching" to the next station hears all the same nasty voice that once again it notifies that:
 - Sliding Doors, the next station "Oktyabrskaya".
 Realizing that it is rather tired, he decides effort will open the eyes, and is surprised to find himself on the platform of the station "Dobryninskaya" sitting on the bench ...

He traveled by bus.
 Stops at avtozappavke, zahozhy in tyalet. The southern and northern booth CLOSURE, nappavlyayus in vtopyyu, ppisazhivayus. Tyt from neighboring booths pazdaetsya:
 "Ppivet! How are you? .. »
 I do not like to pogovo.pite tyalete, poetomy smyschenno answer:
 "Thank you ... Hichego .." In response pazdaetsya:
 "What are your plans for today? ..»
 In my head I ppoletaet papy thoughts ppo typye Checklists and I'm even more embarrassed reply:
 "Oh ... Edy east as you ...»
 Ha that slyshy fpazy: & quot; ...
 Slyshay, I'll later pepezvonyu, tyt some idiot in the next stall answers Checklists, which I am asking you ... & quot;