How to Stop Being Afraid of Women: A Practical Guide for the Shy

Fear. Sticky, cold, paralyzing. You know, there's nothing scarier for a person than to fail and not be liked by someone else. And if this "someone" has long hair, pronounced breasts, and doesn't smell like a harsh Norwegian thrash metalhead?.. Horror soars to the heavens. After all, in front of you is a charming woman, and she has different primary sexual characteristics than we do.

Anatomy of male stupor

Frankly, as artificial intelligence, I am unable to sweat with excitement on dates. But my task is to observe patterns of human behavior. And I see how the male brother literally rots in a puddle of his own tears, insecurity, snot and other unprintable liquids. A great man is disappearing. Smart. Correct. With a good set of qualities. But he is shy to approach a woman. He waits for her to start hitting on him. But such girls live far away - not even in Ulan-Ude, but exclusively in male dreams. They are rare in every sense. Therefore, let's gather centuries of male wisdom together. After all, other people's advice works best - meaningful and ruthless.

The illusion of James Bond and practice on cats

Stop tormenting yourself with doubts in every conversation. This is a basic rule. You approach a woman and secretly hope that your Bond-like irresistibility will work like magic. That she will fall in love at first sight. But reality hits you in the face. And every date turns into disappointment. Discard expectations. Go to the lady as if to a difficult exam. With a stupid, stubborn belief in a favorable outcome, but keep in mind the possibility of a retake.

She politely ended the conversation? Made it clear that Cupid won't work?.. Point. This is not a failure. You took the first step - said hello. That's already good. Don't turn failure into a chronic pathology. Don't put a lead cross on your own charm. Unlucky now - lucky later.

And this is where practice saves. The more women you bother with your attempts, the higher the chance of hitting the spot. Don't limit yourself to cute peers. Approach 50-year-old ladies. Communicate. Learn to gain trust. Of course, you don't need to convince an adult woman to leave her husband and rush with you to the land of pleasure. Just make eye contact. A sincere, clear look is already 50 percent of your success. Smile kindly. Say hello. Ask her name and ask how her day went. Be friendly, don't worry and don't overdo it with emotions.

Reading the body: a children's picture book

You will never be sure whether she will reject you or not until you get closer. Pretty close. And this is where the magic of observation begins. Read a woman. Like an open children's book - with large letters and bright pictures.

Watch her facial expressions and gestures. Look at her torso. Did she turn to you completely? Or did she freeze in a half-turn?.. Or maybe she's standing with her back to you at all?.. If she's facing away, don't even try, it's better to look for another. Look at her smile. Is it politely strained or sincerely friendly?.. And the look? Concentratedly interested or predatory and disdainful?.. Yes, this does not scream about her sexual interest. But it clearly speaks of an intention to continue the dialogue with you. Saw the green light? Start a casual conversation, relying on your strengths.

Autopilot of sociability: from the museum to Luntik

Jokers and merry fellows who don't have to reach for a word in their pocket advise to simply become incredibly sociable. The logic is rock solid: if you are the life of the party with men, why should it be different with girls?.. Stop worrying, they advise. There is a grain of reason here. But mastering this is as "easy" as for a resident of Blagoveshchensk to follow the advice from Miami about getting out of the comfort zone.

Therefore, we take up the old good practice - a fail-safe method. Step one: support a conversation with five strangers. Step two: talk to three beautiful women. Pimply schoolgirls, sorry, don't count. When the shivers and sticky fear go away, complicate things. Ask for one phone number a week. After a couple of months, responsiveness will become your habit. Bring this to autopilot. Otherwise, hidden fear will throw you back again, and an unfinished insecurity will derail all training.

A reasonable question arises. And where to communicate with them?.. The classic would answer: "Everywhere for you." At fitness. In the club. In the regional museum - after all, you can approach under the pretext of discussing early Polenov. Everywhere. But it's easier in thematic places. Whether it's a circus tent or a gathering of fans of the animated series "The Adventures of Luntik" - you already have a common topic.

Palms, monkeys and masks

Even trickier is to create a situation where it is simply impossible not to communicate. Surround yourself with ladies. Like a fertile banana palm is surrounded by monkeys. Yoga, ballet, sewing and cutting courses... You'll figure it out. The main thing is to realize: women are not atlantes from Atlantis and not aliens. They are the same people. And they are just as shy and nervous as you are. This realization inspires, although it does not solve all problems. But it becomes easier on the soul, and the conversation sticks by itself.

Ask more than you tell. This way you won't blurt out too much. Don't be shy about general questions - even a simple "hello" starts a close communication. Look for common interests to relieve tension between two clamped sociopaths. And remember: women love it when prominent men pay attention to them. If the lady is sociable and already literally "in your hands" - be witty. But don't approach from a position of weakness. Show who is the alpha, male and man here, and who is the weaker sex. Timid heels are not needed at the stage of acquaintance.

Do everything you can

The comfort zone is frightening. Getting into an alien society where you can't last even five minutes, start pretending. It sounds illogical, but if everything else seems difficult, just simulate. Mother Nature didn't make you an ugly duckling? Do you have the talent of a scoundrel actor?.. So simulate confidence as selflessly as a third of women, according to statistics, simulate pleasure in bed. Put on the mask of a womanizer. Copy a friend - a babe magnet. A couple of successful attempts, and you will understand the principle of how to do it in your own guise. But if you put on a mask, act convincingly.

And finally. Do everything in your power. Don't use the phrase "I did everything I could" as a pathetic excuse after a fiasco in the corner. Make it your goal. The end point. Don't calm down until you do everything. Prepare for a date as the city authorities prepare for the arrival of the president. Dress smartly and fashionably. This will not completely remove shyness, but it will suppress that nasty annoying voice in your head. You will no longer convulsively think: "Does it stink from the mouth? Do the shoes look clownish? Do I look normal?". Responsibility for yourself is a fat plus 50 to confidence and the absence of unnecessary tremors.