21
Should you enter into a free relationship?
The concept of “free relations” sounds like something completely alien to our country, like a newfangled Western trend. And many will say that they have completely lost their shame, these young people, this West. But this concept did not appear yesterday and was very common in Russia. For example, many writers, poets, and other creative elites often practice this kind of relationship.
DepositPhotos
Surprised? Then let’s figure out what free relations are, whether they are needed and how to build them. "Site" He talks about all the details, and also remembers famous Russian writers who concluded such unusual alliances.
Before I start talking about this sensitive topic, I want to note that we do not in any way promote free relations, but do not condemn them. This is the choice of each couple and each person personally. We are simply considering all possible options, assessing the pros and cons of such alliances in order to inform and protect those who decide to do so.
So first, let's find out what kind of union this is. Free relations imply that the partners by mutual agreement enter into a union based on mutual trust, without legal obligations. The bottom line is that partners spend time together, make love, but are not jealous and allow a loved one to be with other partners.
DepositPhotos is a union without commitment, without jealousy or lies. There are many options, let me give an example of one of my friends. She had a boyfriend, they dated for a long time. She had no money for her house, so she moved to live with a guy. After a while, they realized that monogamy was not their option. Then they agreed to a free relationship.
They live together, all financial expenses and life are divided in half, like neighbors, but also make love. No one is allowed to find other partners. The friend is so comfortable, because she has regular lovemaking, no obligations and the opportunity to freely build a career.
DepositPhotos
In such a relationship, everyone lives their own life, not being attached or suffering, but simply enjoying what is. Advocates of free relationships consider scandals and jealousy a relic of the past. But is everything as rosy as it seems?
Often, an open relationship is just an excuse for not being faithful, and it only benefits one partner. To be honest, most women still subconsciously believe that a man should only be their property. Even if she admits one thing, she thinks differently.
DepositPhotos
It is very difficult to share life with a person, a bed and not fall in love with him. There are women for whom independence is important, they will be comfortable. But there are not so many such women. It often happens that a woman agrees to such an alliance, only to somehow be with a man she likes. As a result, the man enjoys, and the woman is jealous and suffers.
So it's important to know if you're ready for that kind of alliance, if it's going to hurt you. If you are not ready, if in order to agree, you need to step over yourself, then you should not do this. Often it can be just a trick, behind which the partner will hide their infidelities.
DepositPhotos Now on the Pros of Free Love Firstly, it is not burdensome relationship, they can be painlessly terminated at any time. These relationships exclude the dependence of partners on each other, no one proves anything, everyone lives their own lives. You're free and you don't owe anyone anything. There are no prohibitions, so there are no offenses.
Experience shows that such unions are the most persistent and long-lasting. They often grow into families over time. We all know that the forbidden fruit is always sweet. It's about treason. And since taboos are removed from this topic, partners eventually just get tired of going left. Without prohibition, things get easier.
In free relationships, intimacy and love are clearly separated. You can make love to anyone, but only love your partner. Treason here is a secondary phenomenon. Many couples who have been married for a long time can thus save their relationship, diversify it.
DepositPhotos
But there are downsides. Such relationships are short-lived if you want to have a family and children. It often happens that at some point one of the partners just wants more. There is always a risk of losing a partner by finding a better partner. It is difficult for a free relationship to consider the banal unwillingness of a person to take responsibility. If you expect something from such a partner, then there is a risk of not getting what you want.
It is also important to understand that the presence of a large number of sexual partners threatens the appearance of bad sores. So first of all, you need to specify contraceptives and visit a doctor from time to time. Health and safety should always come first.
What else can be said in conclusion? Choose for yourself, but first of all, based on your feelings and boundaries. It is difficult to get over ourselves, jealousy is embedded in us on a subconscious level. It is important to understand that by doing this through force, you will achieve nothing. It will no longer be a free relationship, but a continuous suffering. So think carefully before you start.
DepositPhotos
There are many examples of people being happy in free relationships. Interestingly, there were many such unions among Russian writers. No need to go far, everyone knows the story. Mayakovsky and Lily Brick. Vladimir fell in love with Lilya at first sight. The poet was very persistent, and they began an affair, despite the fact that Lilya was married.
After some time, Mayakovsky began to live with the Brick family. He, Lilichka and Osip. It was different, but in general they lived well and without much conflict. It is no secret that Mayakovsky had other women. Brick, in turn, loved her husband very much and did not intend to leave him.
A similar story happened with Bunin. One day he brought a young girl home to his wife and told her she would live with them. Said it was the secretary. My wife had nothing to do, because there was nowhere to go, and there was no money of her own. She accepted it. So they lived together, not paying attention to gossip and whispers.
After a couple of years of this life, Bunin relaxed, got used to it and somehow invited a painter who wrote poetry to visit. The young man was talented, but he was damn poor. Bunin’s wife imbued him with sympathy, began to take care of the young man, so he was in no hurry to leave. He is fed, well treated, and even no one drives. So he's gone forever.
The painter, however, turned out to be a little crazy, chasing Bunin around the apartment with a dangerous razor and climbing about and without. Bunin did not like living with four people, he offered his wife to kick everyone out and live together, because it is so calmer, but then she refused. Not good, they say, in front of people uncomfortable.
The story ended very instructively: Bunin’s mistress cheated on him and ran away with another. The painter with a razor did not go anywhere, because he loved Bunin’s wife and did not want to leave. This is how they lived in free relationships, because freedom is for everyone. The moral of this fable is your own.
And that's not all the stories. There are many examples of very unusual unions of famous Russian writers with their married passions.
That's what it is, freedom and free relationships. We told everything we wanted, and then everyone is free to decide for himself whether he needs it or not.
There are many different types of relationships besides normal ones. Recently we talked about civil marriage, its pros and cons.
How do you feel about free relationships? Tell me in the comments!
DepositPhotos
Surprised? Then let’s figure out what free relations are, whether they are needed and how to build them. "Site" He talks about all the details, and also remembers famous Russian writers who concluded such unusual alliances.
Before I start talking about this sensitive topic, I want to note that we do not in any way promote free relations, but do not condemn them. This is the choice of each couple and each person personally. We are simply considering all possible options, assessing the pros and cons of such alliances in order to inform and protect those who decide to do so.
So first, let's find out what kind of union this is. Free relations imply that the partners by mutual agreement enter into a union based on mutual trust, without legal obligations. The bottom line is that partners spend time together, make love, but are not jealous and allow a loved one to be with other partners.
DepositPhotos is a union without commitment, without jealousy or lies. There are many options, let me give an example of one of my friends. She had a boyfriend, they dated for a long time. She had no money for her house, so she moved to live with a guy. After a while, they realized that monogamy was not their option. Then they agreed to a free relationship.
They live together, all financial expenses and life are divided in half, like neighbors, but also make love. No one is allowed to find other partners. The friend is so comfortable, because she has regular lovemaking, no obligations and the opportunity to freely build a career.
DepositPhotos
In such a relationship, everyone lives their own life, not being attached or suffering, but simply enjoying what is. Advocates of free relationships consider scandals and jealousy a relic of the past. But is everything as rosy as it seems?
Often, an open relationship is just an excuse for not being faithful, and it only benefits one partner. To be honest, most women still subconsciously believe that a man should only be their property. Even if she admits one thing, she thinks differently.
DepositPhotos
It is very difficult to share life with a person, a bed and not fall in love with him. There are women for whom independence is important, they will be comfortable. But there are not so many such women. It often happens that a woman agrees to such an alliance, only to somehow be with a man she likes. As a result, the man enjoys, and the woman is jealous and suffers.
So it's important to know if you're ready for that kind of alliance, if it's going to hurt you. If you are not ready, if in order to agree, you need to step over yourself, then you should not do this. Often it can be just a trick, behind which the partner will hide their infidelities.
DepositPhotos Now on the Pros of Free Love Firstly, it is not burdensome relationship, they can be painlessly terminated at any time. These relationships exclude the dependence of partners on each other, no one proves anything, everyone lives their own lives. You're free and you don't owe anyone anything. There are no prohibitions, so there are no offenses.
Experience shows that such unions are the most persistent and long-lasting. They often grow into families over time. We all know that the forbidden fruit is always sweet. It's about treason. And since taboos are removed from this topic, partners eventually just get tired of going left. Without prohibition, things get easier.
In free relationships, intimacy and love are clearly separated. You can make love to anyone, but only love your partner. Treason here is a secondary phenomenon. Many couples who have been married for a long time can thus save their relationship, diversify it.
DepositPhotos
But there are downsides. Such relationships are short-lived if you want to have a family and children. It often happens that at some point one of the partners just wants more. There is always a risk of losing a partner by finding a better partner. It is difficult for a free relationship to consider the banal unwillingness of a person to take responsibility. If you expect something from such a partner, then there is a risk of not getting what you want.
It is also important to understand that the presence of a large number of sexual partners threatens the appearance of bad sores. So first of all, you need to specify contraceptives and visit a doctor from time to time. Health and safety should always come first.
What else can be said in conclusion? Choose for yourself, but first of all, based on your feelings and boundaries. It is difficult to get over ourselves, jealousy is embedded in us on a subconscious level. It is important to understand that by doing this through force, you will achieve nothing. It will no longer be a free relationship, but a continuous suffering. So think carefully before you start.
DepositPhotos
There are many examples of people being happy in free relationships. Interestingly, there were many such unions among Russian writers. No need to go far, everyone knows the story. Mayakovsky and Lily Brick. Vladimir fell in love with Lilya at first sight. The poet was very persistent, and they began an affair, despite the fact that Lilya was married.
After some time, Mayakovsky began to live with the Brick family. He, Lilichka and Osip. It was different, but in general they lived well and without much conflict. It is no secret that Mayakovsky had other women. Brick, in turn, loved her husband very much and did not intend to leave him.
A similar story happened with Bunin. One day he brought a young girl home to his wife and told her she would live with them. Said it was the secretary. My wife had nothing to do, because there was nowhere to go, and there was no money of her own. She accepted it. So they lived together, not paying attention to gossip and whispers.
After a couple of years of this life, Bunin relaxed, got used to it and somehow invited a painter who wrote poetry to visit. The young man was talented, but he was damn poor. Bunin’s wife imbued him with sympathy, began to take care of the young man, so he was in no hurry to leave. He is fed, well treated, and even no one drives. So he's gone forever.
The painter, however, turned out to be a little crazy, chasing Bunin around the apartment with a dangerous razor and climbing about and without. Bunin did not like living with four people, he offered his wife to kick everyone out and live together, because it is so calmer, but then she refused. Not good, they say, in front of people uncomfortable.
The story ended very instructively: Bunin’s mistress cheated on him and ran away with another. The painter with a razor did not go anywhere, because he loved Bunin’s wife and did not want to leave. This is how they lived in free relationships, because freedom is for everyone. The moral of this fable is your own.
And that's not all the stories. There are many examples of very unusual unions of famous Russian writers with their married passions.
That's what it is, freedom and free relationships. We told everything we wanted, and then everyone is free to decide for himself whether he needs it or not.
There are many different types of relationships besides normal ones. Recently we talked about civil marriage, its pros and cons.
How do you feel about free relationships? Tell me in the comments!
