Why you can’t build a serious relationship

Who doesn’t want to build a happy life? relationship? So that in them there is a kinship of souls, and respect, and tenderness. And love grows stronger every year like a good drink. But sometimes the obstacle to happiness becomes ourselves, our personal experience, wrong attitudes.

And today's edition. "Site" He suggests that we talk about why it is not possible to build new family relationships after difficult life trials. The problem often lies within ourselves.



Relationship with a loved one "Wife prematurely retired." Being alone was unbearable, so I almost immediately started looking for a new relationship. I've been dating a colleague for 3 years. She divorced her husband, but continues to live with him under the same roof. We meet on weekends, usually at my place, says Sergei, 54.

“We were happy at first, but now I want more. I ask her to start a family and live under one roof. I do not need a mistress, but a strong and friendly family, which was before my wife left. I don’t know what to do now, the man thinks.



First of all, I want to note that Sergey craves the same relationship that he had in his marriage. Is it possible to get back what was lost forever? Hardly, and what is the point in this, says psychologist Kristina Kostikova.



“The loss of a beloved wife is a serious blow. You should fully recover before entering into a new relationship. After all, as long as there are comparisons with the past, happiness with another woman will not work.

“In a new relationship with another person, things will be different. It will not be possible to repeat the previous experience. If you do not say goodbye to the past and move in with another woman, then comparisons and disappointments can not be avoided.



In a relationship, it is important to talk openly with each other so that you can speak out and hear the partner’s position, even if you do not like his position. Sergei lacks that ability. He wondered why his wife was living with her ex-husband. What's their relationship? Did you talk openly about her reluctance to move in?

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Perhaps the woman did not fully understand the past relationships. Maybe she’s not ready to start a new family or feels that Sergey just wants to replace his ex-wife with her.

It is worth talking frankly, without accusations and unnecessary emotions. Talk about your feelings, fears, expectations and resentments. After all, if you understand who expects from a relationship, then you will come to understand whether it makes sense to hold on to each other.



Many people stay together but don’t know their partner’s needs. A frank conversation that can expose utter incompatibility is frightening. People prefer to hold onto false hopes that things will get better. Let the relationship take its course. They regretted spending the best years of their lives on the wrong person.