332
I don't love my daughter...
"I don't love my eldest daughter," with such feeling I lived once had a second child. The eldest was 5 when he started feeling. Of course, like any good mother, I was at pains to suppress this thought in itself. What I did instead? Bought her toys, branded clothing, sent with my grandmother on vacation. Gifts I money I quenched the guilt.
This continued until she was 15 years old, and I still have not found the answers why is this happening to me?
10 years I belonged to her daughter formally, often offending her, at times, very hard. In times of "education", I couldn't stop the flow of negativity and hate was not driven, hurtful words erupted out of me, and in moments of calm, I was amazed at how she can be so heartless and cold-blooded towards his own child!
I moved away from her daughter, and she was reaching out to me, wanting to get affection and love. According to the law of a sandwich, the daughter of my kinestetik, and physical touch is important to her as air. I was annoyed at her, I railed against her for every little thing. But then I began to notice that I "don't like" her in the presence of her husband.
So I suffered for 10 years. 10 years of tyranny and moral bullying myself, husband and child.
To go to therapy or admit to your friends it was embarrassing. I've played the role of a successful businesswoman, happy wife. To make doubt in his story of a successful woman, to me, was unacceptable, inflamed internal failure.
Eventually, my daughter grew up a VICTIM. Constantly compared myself with other children, peers. Nobody loved her class, it was difficult to tie friendship. We changed 5 schools, thinking that the new school will accept and love...
Even more painful was when my husband and my mother asked me to be softer and more patient to the child, not so obviously to show his strong love for another child. It was unbearable when friends and teachers talked about the fact that obviously I'm biased and it is strictly related to the older, especially in comparison with other children. If only they knew that I was going to like!!! I didn't know what devil possessed me and forced me to fabricate all these feints.
But as time went on, we survived the "awkward age" when his ferocious attitude, I forbade her to show me any signs of "transition". I was just banned a transitional period daughter, explaining that this is a sign of weakness and inability to manage their emotions. After all, I, Oh how well "managed" their own!
©Magdalena Berny
The time has come when we started to get guys, and then I grabbed his head, because I realized that for my child, I can't do anything to help her feel comfortable to enter a new phase in her life – building a relationship with the opposite sex. Began to overcome fears: fear that she will stick to the first comer, to receive affection and love. Fear that it will be and eventually it will become clear to anyone. Fear that you will not be able to create a family....
There were a lot of fears and questions even more. I began to prepare themselves for the visit to the psychologist, or, better yet, to a therapist, because I realized that the problem is probably still in me.
But what will I tell him? I don't love my daughter? By the time I had three jobs. The head was full of confusion and I hated myself more and more every day. Guilt and resentment towards myself overwhelmed, I cried for hours alone, blaming himself of all sins, wondered how God could ever give children, but also three, if I can not cope with the role of a good mother??
One thing reassured me, the phrase I heard "all the answers are inside you." I was in a hurry to find the answer, because inside was the belief that if I had the answers to her sweet 16, I will be able to correct the situation! And the answer came. Came in the kind of application tool that helped me find all the answers WHY I didn'T LOVE HER? WHY I DIDN'T TAKE IT?
There is a wonderful Axiom "Everything that happens in my reality is the result of my subconscious desires". This axiom has helped me to identify all of their subconscious desires and transform them. All the transformational work I have left. Year of pleasant discoveries in myself and in my oldest daughter. The work continues too long, I did not notice what my wonderful daughter: my first, my joy in life, my beauty!
Over the years of unconscious life, I badly broke her individuality, you might say, it's been erased. A couple of months, we, along with her regained her individuality, she and I learned to love myself just like that, we spent a large amount of unmatched qualities, worked for the fears and resentments...
Our life has changed, it will never be the same. We enjoy the new relationships that become perfect.
The main reason WHY I never LOVED HER, was mad at her husband. The only way I could take revenge on him for causing me resentment, through a daughter who looked just like him. Once I worked for the first offense to him, I first felt a strong desire to hold my daughter, kiss her and just sit with her in silence. I've been depriving myself of that happiness...
Be happy, dear mother! I sincerely wish you to find your answers yourself with the help of my tool master-kit.info/kaz
Author: Dana Batyrshina
Source: www.facebook.com/dana.batyrshina
This continued until she was 15 years old, and I still have not found the answers why is this happening to me?
10 years I belonged to her daughter formally, often offending her, at times, very hard. In times of "education", I couldn't stop the flow of negativity and hate was not driven, hurtful words erupted out of me, and in moments of calm, I was amazed at how she can be so heartless and cold-blooded towards his own child!
I moved away from her daughter, and she was reaching out to me, wanting to get affection and love. According to the law of a sandwich, the daughter of my kinestetik, and physical touch is important to her as air. I was annoyed at her, I railed against her for every little thing. But then I began to notice that I "don't like" her in the presence of her husband.
So I suffered for 10 years. 10 years of tyranny and moral bullying myself, husband and child.
To go to therapy or admit to your friends it was embarrassing. I've played the role of a successful businesswoman, happy wife. To make doubt in his story of a successful woman, to me, was unacceptable, inflamed internal failure.
Eventually, my daughter grew up a VICTIM. Constantly compared myself with other children, peers. Nobody loved her class, it was difficult to tie friendship. We changed 5 schools, thinking that the new school will accept and love...
Even more painful was when my husband and my mother asked me to be softer and more patient to the child, not so obviously to show his strong love for another child. It was unbearable when friends and teachers talked about the fact that obviously I'm biased and it is strictly related to the older, especially in comparison with other children. If only they knew that I was going to like!!! I didn't know what devil possessed me and forced me to fabricate all these feints.
But as time went on, we survived the "awkward age" when his ferocious attitude, I forbade her to show me any signs of "transition". I was just banned a transitional period daughter, explaining that this is a sign of weakness and inability to manage their emotions. After all, I, Oh how well "managed" their own!
©Magdalena Berny
The time has come when we started to get guys, and then I grabbed his head, because I realized that for my child, I can't do anything to help her feel comfortable to enter a new phase in her life – building a relationship with the opposite sex. Began to overcome fears: fear that she will stick to the first comer, to receive affection and love. Fear that it will be and eventually it will become clear to anyone. Fear that you will not be able to create a family....
There were a lot of fears and questions even more. I began to prepare themselves for the visit to the psychologist, or, better yet, to a therapist, because I realized that the problem is probably still in me.
But what will I tell him? I don't love my daughter? By the time I had three jobs. The head was full of confusion and I hated myself more and more every day. Guilt and resentment towards myself overwhelmed, I cried for hours alone, blaming himself of all sins, wondered how God could ever give children, but also three, if I can not cope with the role of a good mother??
One thing reassured me, the phrase I heard "all the answers are inside you." I was in a hurry to find the answer, because inside was the belief that if I had the answers to her sweet 16, I will be able to correct the situation! And the answer came. Came in the kind of application tool that helped me find all the answers WHY I didn'T LOVE HER? WHY I DIDN'T TAKE IT?
There is a wonderful Axiom "Everything that happens in my reality is the result of my subconscious desires". This axiom has helped me to identify all of their subconscious desires and transform them. All the transformational work I have left. Year of pleasant discoveries in myself and in my oldest daughter. The work continues too long, I did not notice what my wonderful daughter: my first, my joy in life, my beauty!
Over the years of unconscious life, I badly broke her individuality, you might say, it's been erased. A couple of months, we, along with her regained her individuality, she and I learned to love myself just like that, we spent a large amount of unmatched qualities, worked for the fears and resentments...
Our life has changed, it will never be the same. We enjoy the new relationships that become perfect.
The main reason WHY I never LOVED HER, was mad at her husband. The only way I could take revenge on him for causing me resentment, through a daughter who looked just like him. Once I worked for the first offense to him, I first felt a strong desire to hold my daughter, kiss her and just sit with her in silence. I've been depriving myself of that happiness...
Be happy, dear mother! I sincerely wish you to find your answers yourself with the help of my tool master-kit.info/kaz
Author: Dana Batyrshina
Source: www.facebook.com/dana.batyrshina
