433
Sergey Kovalev: Why people lie shamelessly, openly and brazenly
"One of the most stupid Russian traditions: to regret is to blame and to hate right"
The unknown sage
"The meeting with ourselves belongs to the most terrible"
Jung
One of the main problems of modern life, completely knocking out most of the really thinking of reality as a "reasonable, good and eternal", is the following: why people lie (and shamelessly), to openly and brazenly administer meanness and quite unreasonably blame others than blame themselves.
It appears now literally on any level of existence, and in any relationship system: political, economic, interpersonal, etc. Moreover, the examples are not far to seek. It is simply enough to log on to the Internet and read there, well, at least, any "chronicle of current events" (apparently the "Chronicles" from the word "chronic"...). Which with all the passion and pathos of denunciations and accusations, vitiystvuyuschie there authors, have to do with real life (or just happened) the same relation as, say, a soap Opera for the stock market game...
Since I've already asked about all this worried fans of INP (and just people who want to understand the meaning) I'll try to answer about the reasons of this phenomenon. Briefly, and solely relying on the objective laws identified by modern science. And therefore (due to relying on science), I beg you to excuse me for a academic.
1. Envy.
Alas, it is – the most that neither is banal envy. Because this result is negative the comparison yourself with others is the first and main reason for negative depreciation of everything and everyone. All reasonable, good and eternal, which is intolerable precisely because of its elusive positivity. And all those who are smarter, stronger, prettier, richer, more generous and kinder jealous, so much so that to rise to them will not succeed – God forbid to be able to drop yourself.
Alas, in the basest part of human nature. Not coincidentally, La Rochefoucauld argued that the only true joy is the joy at the failures of those we envy. E. Taylor wrote bitterly that people don't handle fame, wealth, beauty and success, and that if she was able to appear unhappy, she would have loved much more.
And famous, is devoted to "disease red eyes" the parable (the one where God, inviting a certain man asked him to choose anything, but knowing that his neighbor will get twice as more) a homogenized subject of our world with you asked to knock out one of his eyes...
2. Malice.
Yes, Yes, that's it – no other word will not pick up. Another thing is that she can be, like, so to say, rational and impulsive.
In the first case we are dealing with a banal desire for self – only and self – benefit. Unfortunately, with the advent and widespread moral relativism (the same like double standards), to talk about decency very, you know, a significant number of people, possible only hypothetically (though with very low probability).
The impression that the whole world has become one large Area – no, not Strugatsky, and literally and actually criminal. In which the main principles of survival become probably immortal – "do not trust!", "fear not!" and "don't ask!" (and well, if only they, and not the much more scary "Bablo triumphs over evil...").
The saddest thing is that in all cases such open, shameless and malicious lies, it is absolutely impossible to somehow justify others and themselves. Because your truth detractors will answer another, even more blatant lies, and even make on that black PR.
But the worst part is that almost always there are people who, as they say, a priori, without evidence, documents, and simple logic, willing to believe any nasty, and, excuse me, shit. Because of the similarity of their personal qualities with the sort of alleged lies. Notorious corruption in the extent to which each judge. According to the principle: "Hurrah! It is as low as we are!...
In the second case – impulsive malice – we seem to be faced with the total manifestation of the so-called law of the Miller–Dollard, referred to as the "law of frustration-aggression." Its essence is simple, but very unpleasant.Because, in all cases where we clearly find "deception", "failure", "waiting in vain" or "frustration of purposes" (a direct translation of the word "frustration" in Latin), we fall into a horrible state of NC desires capacities (or failing to meet some important needs).
And the resulting frustration, anxiety, irritation and even despair, find your way not to visit a therapist, and banal aggression. Directed outward (an extreme form – homicide) or inward (here is a suicide). The real (physical actions). Or verbal (words).
The easiest way to get out of this horrible state of mental disorder, it is of course to throw out his verbal aggression. Meaningless, but merciless. And the Internet this is the right way. Because of the irresponsibility (well, how clever to argue with a fool?) and, in General, alas, impunity...
3. The low level of people's consciousness.
The following, which inflames the whole ugly fuss, so this is a low level of consciousness of mankind (I am of course, talking about his averages).
As you know, D. Hawkins, a brilliant and amazing time introduced this concept in psychological practice, understand under it the infamous and notorious intelligence. But something that can be compared with a clock speed of "CPU a" human "bio-computer" that allows him to process the information and determine the quality of the processing.
So, Hockins, to the conventional level of consciousness in the 200 (now below average), the person is simply unable to correctly interpret what is happening! Understand — he just can't do it – power "processor" is not enough! And all decisions about the specific fact can be based on entirely emotional assessment thereof.
And, so to speak, a bipolar (good – bad, friend – foe, etc. – one extreme without semitones). And after the judges under the rating – already at the expense of the intellectual (and I want to say intellectualy...) efforts (often minimal) is adjusted, that is to say, the picture of the world. Absolutely not true, but even quite palatable for everyday use. Primitive, but at least something to explain and even soothing... and at the same time allowing like not to notice my own, I'm sorry, deformity (the inscription on the mirror: "not Even hope – it's you!)...
4. Stockholm syndrome and cognitive dissonance.
And here it is time to say one more thing about the Stockholm syndrome, which, if you remember, consists in the fact that people captured by bandits and/or terrorists as hostages, began add to love, to regret, to be considered fighters for a right cause, and not to defend with weapons in hand...
How is it possible for such madness? Yes, because it works well, very interesting mechanism: elimination of cognitive dissonance.
Despite the odd name, this invented by L. Festinger, model, perfect and very simply explains all the quirks of the inflamed consciousness of humanity. Just one of the cornerstones of the human psyche is longing to "save face" (save yourself the self-relation at an affordable level). Any information (hence 'cognitive'), which is able to interfere immediately to put it mildly, somewhat differently interpreted.
For example, I bought the car, and the neighbor says that this is in General a very bad purchase. To avoid the destruction of self-esteem I have two beautiful output.
The first is to ignore the information or even deny it. The second is to discredit neighbor well, just in full (i.e., accused him not only competence, but also of malevolence and all the other deadly sins...).
And what do you think will be chosen? That's right – both... therefore, do not be surprised: any person who commits a stupid action, for example left (and even against their will and unpleasant to unavoidable circumstances) a country, organization or group (by the way: the family is also a group), which, as it turned out, it was so good that better can be and never will be, "justification" itself (and not a very high level of development) is able to literally pour on the judges (country, organization, group) flows of lie and dirt. Only to justify their own stupidity in their own and others ' eyes, and yet save the remnants and fragments of positive self-acceptance ("everything is shit – I'm the only one in a white coat")...
5. Negative projections.
It is curious that, owing to the so-called law of projection, he will do so by projecting their own problems. That is, being internally dishonest, will blame others; and caught in financial impropriety and self-seeking, to tell one and all about which live and work there grabbers... in fact, the mechanism of this projection deserves a separate article. Because the common man well, just really hard (to impossible) to understand some of it (the projection theory) of truth.
First, we don't like in others what you don't like in myself, or in myself and also scared. For example, an inflated Ego is usually the one who accuses others; and resents the violation of the rights of any one who willingly infringe upon someone's rights, but is afraid to do because of the consequences (and sometimes openly flouted, but doesn't want to admit it to himself).
Secondly, we hate in others the things that they are superior to us, and therefore diligently searching for "sun spots". For example, if one is liberated and uninhibited than I, he's just crazy and neurotic; if you can speak well, but I cannot, of course, a demagogue; if secured, and I am not, he is certainly a thief and a grabber (and so on and so forth...).
Thirdly, well, we are very willing to blame others that is unacceptable to us ("taboo") by virtue, for example, put in the childhood restrictions, and, again, with "inversions". For example, if I fell in love with him and he rejects my claim, it means that I am not stalking him, and he me; and that I really do not like, and of course hate... well, all according to very wise Russian proverb: anyone that hurts, that and speaks about that (personally, I prefer to talk about what makes me happy or at least interested...).
6. The lack of mental health.
All of the above is compounded by the fact that because of the complexity (and deteriorating) living conditions of people, the level of mental health of humanity has declined. And if earlier we in conditional medium variant, dealing with neuroses, but now, more and more often with personality disorders, politely called accentuations.
Why politely? Yes, because before they "call" psychopathy, where a psychopath to understand the man who made others to suffer the whims of his own character, suffering with that, so to speak, and independently...
For example, today in the atmosphere of total fear for the life and the rapid loss of security, is becoming a very common paranoid personality disorder (personality disorder through paranoia).
As described in the excellent book "Secrets of the individual" M. Hall and his friends, paranoid individuals have a strong tendency to blame others for their personal problems; as a rule, can refer to a variety of experiences that they think confirm their views on what should accuse others; instantly deny or minimize their own problems; and often have very little understanding of the ways in which their behavior contributes to the problem (I am sorry for some condulet text, but it's close to the original)...
And if you add that their paranoia is often "sherochka with masherochkoy" goes with another very popular personality disorder: narcissism (where everything is "spin" around the grandeur of his person, hypersensitivity to evaluation, and lack of empathy), it becomes well, just bad (in terms of adequacy to the reality of these subjects, and the consequences of them, based on fear and lack of love, relations with the world).
Because if you perceive yourself as different from others in some important way (well, of course. in the best way); excessive estimate of his own dignity; expect others to have the admiration, respect and approval in any case; live for indulging themselves, and semianalytical, then, these expectations can easily slip it into the requirement of all this. Hereinafter, lead to the fact that, as a rule, any lack of cooperation with their narcissistic, grandiose fantasies taken for a personal insult (with all the consequences of a series "the fool and your children are ugly...")
That's about all for now. Maybe someday I will paint it all more accessible and detailed. But don't see the point: smart enough... And, you, my dear readers, at last (I sincerely hope) understand the major patterns of psychopathology of everyday life, I sincerely wish for one thing: the conservation of optimism and joy! Because even when the dogs well, very loud bark, the caravan still goes on... Confident, measured and right way...
PS. And the last "topic" — perhaps the most important. All of the above (and not mentioned)evil exists and is only possible because of human weakness. Those who are doing it. And those who take it. Because the power does not need evil. It is the original and native kind. And only the weak require malice. For approval of their little "me." And justification for their own stupidity...posted
Author: Sergey Kovalev
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: psy-in.ru/articles/psihopatologiya-obydennoj-zhizni
The unknown sage
"The meeting with ourselves belongs to the most terrible"
Jung
One of the main problems of modern life, completely knocking out most of the really thinking of reality as a "reasonable, good and eternal", is the following: why people lie (and shamelessly), to openly and brazenly administer meanness and quite unreasonably blame others than blame themselves.
It appears now literally on any level of existence, and in any relationship system: political, economic, interpersonal, etc. Moreover, the examples are not far to seek. It is simply enough to log on to the Internet and read there, well, at least, any "chronicle of current events" (apparently the "Chronicles" from the word "chronic"...). Which with all the passion and pathos of denunciations and accusations, vitiystvuyuschie there authors, have to do with real life (or just happened) the same relation as, say, a soap Opera for the stock market game...
Since I've already asked about all this worried fans of INP (and just people who want to understand the meaning) I'll try to answer about the reasons of this phenomenon. Briefly, and solely relying on the objective laws identified by modern science. And therefore (due to relying on science), I beg you to excuse me for a academic.
1. Envy.
Alas, it is – the most that neither is banal envy. Because this result is negative the comparison yourself with others is the first and main reason for negative depreciation of everything and everyone. All reasonable, good and eternal, which is intolerable precisely because of its elusive positivity. And all those who are smarter, stronger, prettier, richer, more generous and kinder jealous, so much so that to rise to them will not succeed – God forbid to be able to drop yourself.
Alas, in the basest part of human nature. Not coincidentally, La Rochefoucauld argued that the only true joy is the joy at the failures of those we envy. E. Taylor wrote bitterly that people don't handle fame, wealth, beauty and success, and that if she was able to appear unhappy, she would have loved much more.
And famous, is devoted to "disease red eyes" the parable (the one where God, inviting a certain man asked him to choose anything, but knowing that his neighbor will get twice as more) a homogenized subject of our world with you asked to knock out one of his eyes...
2. Malice.
Yes, Yes, that's it – no other word will not pick up. Another thing is that she can be, like, so to say, rational and impulsive.
In the first case we are dealing with a banal desire for self – only and self – benefit. Unfortunately, with the advent and widespread moral relativism (the same like double standards), to talk about decency very, you know, a significant number of people, possible only hypothetically (though with very low probability).
The impression that the whole world has become one large Area – no, not Strugatsky, and literally and actually criminal. In which the main principles of survival become probably immortal – "do not trust!", "fear not!" and "don't ask!" (and well, if only they, and not the much more scary "Bablo triumphs over evil...").
The saddest thing is that in all cases such open, shameless and malicious lies, it is absolutely impossible to somehow justify others and themselves. Because your truth detractors will answer another, even more blatant lies, and even make on that black PR.
But the worst part is that almost always there are people who, as they say, a priori, without evidence, documents, and simple logic, willing to believe any nasty, and, excuse me, shit. Because of the similarity of their personal qualities with the sort of alleged lies. Notorious corruption in the extent to which each judge. According to the principle: "Hurrah! It is as low as we are!...
In the second case – impulsive malice – we seem to be faced with the total manifestation of the so-called law of the Miller–Dollard, referred to as the "law of frustration-aggression." Its essence is simple, but very unpleasant.Because, in all cases where we clearly find "deception", "failure", "waiting in vain" or "frustration of purposes" (a direct translation of the word "frustration" in Latin), we fall into a horrible state of NC desires capacities (or failing to meet some important needs).
And the resulting frustration, anxiety, irritation and even despair, find your way not to visit a therapist, and banal aggression. Directed outward (an extreme form – homicide) or inward (here is a suicide). The real (physical actions). Or verbal (words).
The easiest way to get out of this horrible state of mental disorder, it is of course to throw out his verbal aggression. Meaningless, but merciless. And the Internet this is the right way. Because of the irresponsibility (well, how clever to argue with a fool?) and, in General, alas, impunity...
3. The low level of people's consciousness.
The following, which inflames the whole ugly fuss, so this is a low level of consciousness of mankind (I am of course, talking about his averages).
As you know, D. Hawkins, a brilliant and amazing time introduced this concept in psychological practice, understand under it the infamous and notorious intelligence. But something that can be compared with a clock speed of "CPU a" human "bio-computer" that allows him to process the information and determine the quality of the processing.
So, Hockins, to the conventional level of consciousness in the 200 (now below average), the person is simply unable to correctly interpret what is happening! Understand — he just can't do it – power "processor" is not enough! And all decisions about the specific fact can be based on entirely emotional assessment thereof.
And, so to speak, a bipolar (good – bad, friend – foe, etc. – one extreme without semitones). And after the judges under the rating – already at the expense of the intellectual (and I want to say intellectualy...) efforts (often minimal) is adjusted, that is to say, the picture of the world. Absolutely not true, but even quite palatable for everyday use. Primitive, but at least something to explain and even soothing... and at the same time allowing like not to notice my own, I'm sorry, deformity (the inscription on the mirror: "not Even hope – it's you!)...
4. Stockholm syndrome and cognitive dissonance.
And here it is time to say one more thing about the Stockholm syndrome, which, if you remember, consists in the fact that people captured by bandits and/or terrorists as hostages, began add to love, to regret, to be considered fighters for a right cause, and not to defend with weapons in hand...
How is it possible for such madness? Yes, because it works well, very interesting mechanism: elimination of cognitive dissonance.
Despite the odd name, this invented by L. Festinger, model, perfect and very simply explains all the quirks of the inflamed consciousness of humanity. Just one of the cornerstones of the human psyche is longing to "save face" (save yourself the self-relation at an affordable level). Any information (hence 'cognitive'), which is able to interfere immediately to put it mildly, somewhat differently interpreted.
For example, I bought the car, and the neighbor says that this is in General a very bad purchase. To avoid the destruction of self-esteem I have two beautiful output.
The first is to ignore the information or even deny it. The second is to discredit neighbor well, just in full (i.e., accused him not only competence, but also of malevolence and all the other deadly sins...).
And what do you think will be chosen? That's right – both... therefore, do not be surprised: any person who commits a stupid action, for example left (and even against their will and unpleasant to unavoidable circumstances) a country, organization or group (by the way: the family is also a group), which, as it turned out, it was so good that better can be and never will be, "justification" itself (and not a very high level of development) is able to literally pour on the judges (country, organization, group) flows of lie and dirt. Only to justify their own stupidity in their own and others ' eyes, and yet save the remnants and fragments of positive self-acceptance ("everything is shit – I'm the only one in a white coat")...
5. Negative projections.
It is curious that, owing to the so-called law of projection, he will do so by projecting their own problems. That is, being internally dishonest, will blame others; and caught in financial impropriety and self-seeking, to tell one and all about which live and work there grabbers... in fact, the mechanism of this projection deserves a separate article. Because the common man well, just really hard (to impossible) to understand some of it (the projection theory) of truth.
First, we don't like in others what you don't like in myself, or in myself and also scared. For example, an inflated Ego is usually the one who accuses others; and resents the violation of the rights of any one who willingly infringe upon someone's rights, but is afraid to do because of the consequences (and sometimes openly flouted, but doesn't want to admit it to himself).
Secondly, we hate in others the things that they are superior to us, and therefore diligently searching for "sun spots". For example, if one is liberated and uninhibited than I, he's just crazy and neurotic; if you can speak well, but I cannot, of course, a demagogue; if secured, and I am not, he is certainly a thief and a grabber (and so on and so forth...).
Thirdly, well, we are very willing to blame others that is unacceptable to us ("taboo") by virtue, for example, put in the childhood restrictions, and, again, with "inversions". For example, if I fell in love with him and he rejects my claim, it means that I am not stalking him, and he me; and that I really do not like, and of course hate... well, all according to very wise Russian proverb: anyone that hurts, that and speaks about that (personally, I prefer to talk about what makes me happy or at least interested...).
6. The lack of mental health.
All of the above is compounded by the fact that because of the complexity (and deteriorating) living conditions of people, the level of mental health of humanity has declined. And if earlier we in conditional medium variant, dealing with neuroses, but now, more and more often with personality disorders, politely called accentuations.
Why politely? Yes, because before they "call" psychopathy, where a psychopath to understand the man who made others to suffer the whims of his own character, suffering with that, so to speak, and independently...
For example, today in the atmosphere of total fear for the life and the rapid loss of security, is becoming a very common paranoid personality disorder (personality disorder through paranoia).
As described in the excellent book "Secrets of the individual" M. Hall and his friends, paranoid individuals have a strong tendency to blame others for their personal problems; as a rule, can refer to a variety of experiences that they think confirm their views on what should accuse others; instantly deny or minimize their own problems; and often have very little understanding of the ways in which their behavior contributes to the problem (I am sorry for some condulet text, but it's close to the original)...
And if you add that their paranoia is often "sherochka with masherochkoy" goes with another very popular personality disorder: narcissism (where everything is "spin" around the grandeur of his person, hypersensitivity to evaluation, and lack of empathy), it becomes well, just bad (in terms of adequacy to the reality of these subjects, and the consequences of them, based on fear and lack of love, relations with the world).
Because if you perceive yourself as different from others in some important way (well, of course. in the best way); excessive estimate of his own dignity; expect others to have the admiration, respect and approval in any case; live for indulging themselves, and semianalytical, then, these expectations can easily slip it into the requirement of all this. Hereinafter, lead to the fact that, as a rule, any lack of cooperation with their narcissistic, grandiose fantasies taken for a personal insult (with all the consequences of a series "the fool and your children are ugly...")
That's about all for now. Maybe someday I will paint it all more accessible and detailed. But don't see the point: smart enough... And, you, my dear readers, at last (I sincerely hope) understand the major patterns of psychopathology of everyday life, I sincerely wish for one thing: the conservation of optimism and joy! Because even when the dogs well, very loud bark, the caravan still goes on... Confident, measured and right way...
PS. And the last "topic" — perhaps the most important. All of the above (and not mentioned)evil exists and is only possible because of human weakness. Those who are doing it. And those who take it. Because the power does not need evil. It is the original and native kind. And only the weak require malice. For approval of their little "me." And justification for their own stupidity...posted
Author: Sergey Kovalev
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: psy-in.ru/articles/psihopatologiya-obydennoj-zhizni
Household toxins: And you are poisoning your loved ones?
IMPORTANT! WHAT you need to know about grains: phytic acid in popular products