Professional cynicism or sleeping in the refrigerator

Cynicism is not the most pleasant quality of a person. But in some professions you can not do without it. The author of the article served as a forensic expert in the duty group of the Central Internal Affairs Department of St. Petersburg in the distant 90s and tells several curious cases that occurred in his life at that time. So... The end of the thug '90s. There are fewer raspberry jackets on the streets and more heroin addicts.
I worked then, or rather served, as an expert criminalist in the duty group of the Central police Department of St. Petersburg. It is clear from the name that our territory was the most that neither is the historical center of St. Petersburg. Nevsky, a hotel, architecture ... communal houses, domestic slaughter, broken heads of tourists.
To speak of professional cynicism is superfluous. What can I say if I had an outfit once a week in the city morgue, where I rolled back the fingers of unidentified dead men found at different stages of decomposition and killed in various exotic and not very exotic ways. Kind of a job, I'll tell you, but I was used to it at the time. Eh... What is it? I drank and snacked in the sectional morgues of St. Petersburg.

Backstory. Around 2000, I went with the operas of the murder department to the city morgue on Catherine Prospect, to photograph and “roll back” the murdered thug, who was suspected of an attempt on the State Duma deputy Starovoitova (later it turned out – out of suit). "Roll back" is fingerprinting. Dactyloscopy - take fingerprints for subsequent identification. Normal practice. I did my job, packed my big expert suitcase, and then he appeared, a forensic scientist who in some TV shows is stubbornly called a pathologist.
- A spirit?
I had a look at the operas. Why? The work is done, everyone is almost free. You can drink alcohol. One for small, two for small, as always... with consequences. I could not stand the first one and fell asleep safely, and the operas wanted courage. They put me on a gurney and locked me in the fridge with the dead. I thought I would freeze, wake up, get scared, start knocking, in general - the joke was a success. I would. If they hadn't taken it on their chest, they wouldn't have forgotten about me. Homicide operatives left, and I stayed asleep in the fridge.
I woke up as planned because I was cold. I wake up in a surprisingly calm society, no one snores and generally... quietly somehow. Nice company around. But not in itself ... and cold.
I get up and start banging on the door. On the clock midnight...
I was discovered by a medical student working as a medic at the morgue. Interestingly, he was not even surprised by the night knocking on the door from the side, where only the dead should be.
The next morning I went to the operas with claims ... none. Maybe they met with agents, or maybe yesterday’s alcohol somehow influenced... When everyone who found out about the incident rusted, told me that this opera is not the first time in the cemetery jokes noticed. About a year before the events described, two opera and an investigator of the prosecutor's office M. (a well-known lawyer today, by the way) were present at the autopsy in the morgue of the Botkin hospital. They opened the protocol, and then, as always. - A spirit?
The opera got drunk. And the investigator is with them. They wandered in search of where to lie down.
And in the farewell room, three coffins are ready. Drunk people, they're smart people, you know. They went to sleep in those coffins.
The janitor's grandmother came this morning. Shork Shork, mop, ding-ding, bucket...
- Mother, how much you can rattle... let me sleep, said the investigator of the prosecutor’s office who rose from the coffin, after which he was persuaded by a skillful blow to the head with a mop. They caught Grandma on the pass. Corvalol was drunk. She did not understand the originality of the opera. Long complained.
“The policemen were sleeping in coffins,” the grandmother began to tell her superiors, and the latter’s hand reached for the phone. Thought she was crazy.

Source:livejournal.com

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