Need and even want, but... can't move! Bashny.Net

When a person wants to do something, nothing can stop him.

As mentioned ray Bradbury is the author of “dandelion Wine”: ”If you can not write, do not write”.

If the person is not doing something, then he does not have this resource. Physically no forces or no forces at all. They are locked, spent on something else, and to do what is “necessary”, it needs “to go on rims”, the last effort, “to wear”.

Everyone has their own energy reserves, and people do differ in the level of energy given to them by nature.

But if there was a time when you gush energies, “cloud shrugged”, were engaged with large projects, doing a lot of good, and now can not move, is to ask yourself, – where's your energy? Where is she? And what you spend it now?

Competing need.

There's something much more important now.

You try to focus at work and at home a sick child. Where are your thoughts?

You are offered a promotion and invited to the Central office at Marseilles, and your man just all tied and you are afraid to scare away this fragile, newborn happiness and hope hatched on family life – he stays in Moscow.

You have to gather my thoughts and to take the next step in your project, but all your thoughts with her daughter, who is in the process of admission to University and moving to another city.

Resistance development.

It is clear that in such cases, you turn on the resistance. And poorly done work and quarrel with BOS and not starting a personal project – it will be a sad result of the second awareness, competing needs. The desire to remain a good mother, a happy woman and simply no one will stick a spoke in the wheel of your career and professional growth.

A conflict of needs, C'est La vie. Such conflicts take a lot of strength, force to rupture, rush, experiencing feelings of guilt and shame.

To get out of the clinch, it's important to see all sides of the conflict and each needs “to give the word”. Psychologists and coaches, as a rule, successfully help to deal with this. In self-organization of such a “dialogue needs” there is a risk not to notice the “blind spot”. (Actually, when working with yourself so there is always a risk, it is important to remember that. Therefore psychologists have their own psychologists)).

When the past projected on the present.

To block the movement towards the goal can not only competing need.

Need to go take my documents to the Embassy, go to the bailiffs and find out about the arrest of accounts, begin the privatization of luck, in the end make an appointment in the Oncology clinic about these strange mole -

“I can't move, I'm AFRAID!”

“Just your legs, the cold sweat stands, everything inside is compressed, nothing I can do about it. Do not go my feet there and that's it.”

Big, strong, adult man suddenly becomes small, weak, frightened child. And he is ready to run in the opposite direction to the Embassy, police officers, legal firms and anabolicum. Or be prepared to deal with the representatives of all the above. And someone just froze, “pretend to be dead” and will not budge, if not forcibly dragged or not “cross itself”.

What happens? As an adult, intelligent man, capable of doing serious stuff, suddenly turns into a helpless child who can not take the elementary steps?





Why?

There is a strong experience that something similar to this. There can be a lot of horror, pain, humiliation, feeling of helplessness and shame. What man in his right mind and sober memory will climb again in it?

If this experience covers, and the line between actually what is happening now and what is happening when. And the experience can not come back, but the body and mind will give natural reaction is to run, to flee, fight or freeze.

What kind of movement towards the goal.

People can pass not only in front of embassies and hospitals, but also before the upcoming private wedding, for example.

In all these cases there is some idea of how “out there” will be, starting with the words :

“I know..”

“I know I still can't prove anything. I know, I spend a lot of time and will only embarrass yourself”. ” I know they'll say I have cancer. And I don't get out of the hospital”. ” I know what I'll look like a complete fool in the eyes of his relatives at the wedding”.

This view in professional language is called “projection”. Amazing phenomenon, I want to tell you! You can impose your view on anything to project failures, disasters, hostile attitude towards others. And the world will fit! It creates its own reality, where time and again repeated the same negative experience.

In humans, there are other ways to slow down your own growth and movement towards their goals.

Such as the installation received in my childhood about what is possible and what is not “good girls” and “real men”, the message kind of how we should live.





You can try to do good and live other people's lives instead of themselves. When your own needs are projected onto others.

The result – neglected personal life, a complete lack of understanding of their needs, “Heroismo” at work and at home, anger and exhaustion. While their own objectives are not achieved, assistance is always expected from others. Waiting for the man “Alaverdy” from others and usually do not wait. “Overjoyed” rarely experience the gratitude of the imposed kindness.

There are fans to stop the disease from important decisions, relocations and changes in life. When instead of trying to fly with his son in a long-awaited trip to Paris the woman somatisized and into the hospital. And for many years, each trip is preceded by a operation. Only after the “fee” can go.

That did not come up people, in order not to let yourself change.

It is important to remember thatthe stronger the need, the stronger the resistance. On the strength of its resistance, you can guess how important for you is what you go.

Stumble, slow down, stop, make a hundred steps back, then again back and again go.

And it may already be abandoned and forbade himself to think about his dream? published

Author: Irina Dubova

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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Source: dybova.ru/news/nado-i-dazhe-xochu-no-ne-mogu-sdvinutsya-s-mesta/