What to do when you have to live, but for some reason there are no forces

Once I worked with a man who years can not get a job. Good people with high qualifications and extensive experience without a job.

How? I ask: do not take anywhere? No, answers, why, take. But there is an awkward area here probation for six months instead of three months, where the chief of a boy, and that's where I went all - boring. In general, help me!



And I look at him and see a man utterly weary, vooot with such a burden of the past all different, completely without power, without luster in the eyes, he seemed to be looking for work, and in fact the contents. He had come to this work an hour to 11, to lie on the couch and sleep another three hours, and then it can be the end of the day will be able to do something. And he wants to lead, because he has the same experience ... He remembers how it once worked. But he feels that way can not, therefore, bypasses unconsciously sharp corners: the long way, the comparison with young, high intensity

. Sad? Yes it's sad. But there is a way out. Even three.

1. Find a new meaning of life. Tan, believe, to blow himself up inside. And to achieve this goal, while experiencing the joy of children the process of small steps. The danger here is that if he does not fully recover on the way, the energy is over again and once he is in danger to fall and not get up.

2. Completely change the way of life for some time. Find a place in which pulls ask for the blessing of family and go to somewhere for a year, to live there as it will, to find joy in the little things, look for yourself, wait until you see the desire to once again live and actively reach.

Danger: do not want to go back at all. Unbeknownst to himself to pass the point of no return, and instead find themselves completely lost. The man is still a social being and of society for a long time without him is impossible.

The second risk - choose the wrong place. It is only in theory that if a person is cold, he will look for warmth. If 1/4 of the frozen body and soul - will want to heat, but if you have at least half - cold. The very cold already will own them. He will get his will, he would be afraid to melt. Try to offer a good criminal but an honest life. Wants? In principle, here as well. We need to think carefully before choosing isolation. And if you choose, you put yourself time, when you get back. No "how it goes." Literally the day.

3. Accept the situation, understand that you are, roughly speaking, an employee now and start to unload themselves of the cargo, which has accumulated over a lifetime. Brushing should be three things: relationships with people (not to tear, and to understand, to evaluate, to think)

. Insults, because everyone today a lot of them. Edinolichnichestvo still played a cruel joke with us, we completely forgot how to pronounce quiet resentment. We are their hoard, hoard, is not a huge increase, "offended" the ego. And then with the vertices are afraid to step back to the people. For those who love and appreciate. Here is a man, for example, he was very offended at all, just a little aware of it.

When I showed him where the accumulated grievances and put his hand to, he was not even felt at first touch of his body. For a long time I am listening to her, and then pointed to a spot below five centimeters. That is, there is a complete blockade of the sensitivity, indicating that everything inside is so clogged, closed, partitioned, and pointers to lead is not that we should be very interested, really want to get this to help a person to become myself again. There are so many people, especially men, because they are traditionally brought up so that all you need to keep quiet. I mean it is the men, of course, not a "mama's sons".

And the third thing, which definitely need to be cleaned - this plan expectations and goals. The fact is that by the middle of the life of each of us accumulates a huge amount of any unrealized ideas. We light up, and then kept postponing the birth of her second child, climbing Elbrus, the purchase of the house at home parents, a trip to the place of his childhood, site of the favorite hobbies, and God knows that.

And all this is accumulated and unrealized produces sediment. And then you go to work, where you have to, in general, lay out, and you have "to hump" sit your site and your house, and in the evening again booze at work, means of 'making children "for the next week you can forget ... And so everyone, from any of us.

Therefore it is necessary to allocate one day to stay in a country hotel and sit on a piece of paper to write down all your goals, including long half-forgotten and discarded the thought "this is not for me." With each objective individually, "smoke", and decide what to do with it. Pee pochirikat scheme sketch a business plan, and then assemble the whole pile of papers, and easy to burn. And in the morning to wake up and begin to implement the first immediate aim.

He chose a third way, and body psychotherapy. Over 10 sessions "punched" shell, released many insults, reformed dreams. In the new year I wrote: got a job, satisfied. The company is not as big as planned, but it does what it has always loved: ogranizovyvaet fishing tours, White Sea, Norway, the Yenisei. In general, all is well. What I sincerely wish and you!
Author: Elena Shubina