Strong women who too often helping their men

How to behave in a pair of "strong woman"? Help or hinder this "force" relationship? We argue with the psychologist Julia Sudakovoy.Zhenschiny in his unrestrained attempt to help sometimes create completely unnecessary things, which not only do not help, but even harmful to others. This is especially true of men. Here are a few examples of frequently encountered in the consultations.



woman lives or occurs with a man whose talent nobody can evaluate! He is a great musician (artist / businessman / programmer / scientist / writer), but that no one but he does not understand. He does not buy the woman no flowers, no gifts, no leads in her cafes, blaming the fact that it is not working and waiting for someone to begin to promote it! Then, according to him, all will be well. A woman waits, she works, helping him pay ... all year, two ... Ten.

Another situation: woman lives with a man in a civil marriage, he even something she occasionally buys and sometimes somewhere leads, but says he is not ready for a serious relationship (except for hanging and sex), the children, he does not want the family while too, because he had a very difficult past relationships / he has not got to his feet in the normal / he has not developed / he must first divorce / he and his wife must first become rich. The woman believes and waits for him to serve a year or two ... Ten.

But no one in either case nothing happens, and women think: "Maybe I'm a little try! Probably not enough to invest in it! "They harnessed to another, and a third operation, buck, but things are there.

They come to me for advice and say: "I want to help my man! I want to do this and that ... Tell me, what can I do for him? He's without me can not itself, and it's so hard! »

Then I calmly say: «The greatest and important thing you can do for a man - to cease to do something for him»
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While the woman in the relationship has been active - running, it ensures that - the man will not do or will do hardly
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And if a man does not want to take you as his wife - do not need to serve him
!
Do not have sex with him and give their energy. It is not necessary to forgive all: irresponsible indulgence, laziness
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All of these cases indicate only a low level of self-esteem in women, that she does not appreciate yourself for real, do not respect and do not like.

If you want to make a man a man - stop to help him, to lisp with him worrying about his blunders. Normal adult man himself is able to solve their problems and may even help women solve it.

< Please remember the word "help the man," do not humiliate them this We can sometimes support them, but our support is expressed in three things:.

< Vera in it
Even if you have hard times, Do not become a job, give rise to difficulties. Man grows through difficulties, develops, matures, grows stronger and begins itself to respect yourself! If you have financial problems, it is still be in a good mood, even if you have on the table for some time will only buckwheat or rice. This will make it clear to your man that he is dear to you under any circumstances, and will strengthen their faith in a reliable rear!

Engage themselves and their beauty, learn to enjoy everything and be satisfied, then the situation will change, and you will see how a man begins to turn into a prince!

And if a man does not take responsibility for you - it's probably not your man. We have to work with self-esteem, and then will come the normal, responsible representatives of the stronger sex. No need to settle for a compromise and live year after year, killing their self-esteem.

Girls need to first of all the most to become a woman, to learn to appreciate themselves, learn the rituals and practices to transform lives, to engage themselves and their thoughts!

Then next to you any man will show their best qualities.

Please do not mutilate their men pity and constant help. They themselves can all!

< Believe in man and just give him a chance to be your hero.



Author Julia Sudakova source
Sluber
via factroom.ru