"The old bachelor." Bashny.Net

They say I'm "old bachelor". Not so old, 42 - not the age for men. All around luck, marry marry ... but I do not mind and soul on the road, but to whom? Last time the bait hit matchmaker.

"The blonde, 33, clever, housewife, all at all 120h100h120 ..." Knows beast than the lure of our brother. He not deceived, like JUlechka. In November, into the slush and cold to walk with her through the streets of the week. What vain to freeze, immediately he made an offer: offered me to move. Do not drive to restaurants as such a beauty!

We live together, in perfect harmony, the application is submitted.
Engagement Ring bought on sale. However, few turned out, even on the little finger is nalezlo.
"Take, say - the daughter of the future will present." JUlechka such yumoristka, joking: "Your ring is only thrush ringed possible».
I remembered testik one simple, yet grandfather taught: Treat the bride apples, Put forth the riddle.
-What Mile hundred rubles ?! - I ask. A JUlechka: "A hundred friends!»

These are the times! This house brick by brick detonate with friends. And like apples ... eat a whole basket padanok brought from the country - a half-day is enough! He takes a knife and cuts one-third of the apple with the peel, then kusnet couple of times and for the following stretches, the product carries. No, I'm not "Plyushkin" cores not weighed. I loved nothing to feel sorry for. Well it's not pineapple, nuts are not Brazilian.

We live on one soul, going on a honeymoon. Travel Agents more than pharmacy! You go wherever you want. It offers a choice of three rounds: ecological - "Paradise in a shack" on the island Mryky Almanskih swamps;

History - "two with a spade", horse-drawn tour of places of retreat of Napoleon's army. Fording the Berezina, Borisov, Orsha, faith, Nevel, the cart back and forth. On the way - a treasure hunt;

Commercial - "Gifts of Polesie", the services of the newlyweds cozy diesel cars - trains' Zhlobin "-" worker reporter, "30 stops along the way. Each came, blueberries, chanterelles, St. John's wort collected - loggers passed. And rest and fresh penny! It's not that, it's not like it!

JUlechka, it turns out, a child dreamed of a trip to the white liner. Come, guess what does a woman want ?! Dreamer! I had it in my head did not come! Our Liner, white spawn was not huge dog, "Caucasian". With his father guarded garages. I understand, in the wee sled ride without question. A pyatipudovuyu Babu? The desire of women - the law! So be it, go on a cruise on the Minsk sea on inflatable mattresses. Liner with a take.

We continue to live together, getting ready for the wedding, the general economy of conduct.
JUlechka going on a cruise, suitcase, swimsuit, "weeks" bought. And for me, as well as "Monday" to "Tuesday" enough. I am not a miser, but why in the kitchen seven towels? So she said.

Toilet paper is also no gain! What she shakes her in kilometers? I took rolls and red felt-tip guides on how to put on 10
centimeters. Understood nothing. Well, I think - after the wedding will explain. Let while enjoying in the summer "Hapuna 2011" stocked.

All corners of the world to prepare, with the money goodbye. I also bought a few things: a box of soap, matches, a bag of sugar, two refrigerators. Carpets did not take, even my mother's 91 th floor in three layers lie. Trivia different picked, hundreds of light bulbs, nails, flour, cereals every couple of bags.

Because of it, due to the barley penny family collapsed. Climbed on the mezzanine of the peas with pearl barley, no one is sitting potatoes. Let think JUlechka glazatku prepare. He opened the package, and there is black beetles swarming with weevils! I'm not confused, after all, Heating engineer. Quickly pan on the stove, poured barley, and the line of wood at the center and put the hold. Insects crawling from the heat escape to the line, then I shake them gently in the sink. The laws of physics work. Five packs had to clean. Here JUlechka came home from work, looked like the sink ...

"I - he says - are not going to these gnats grass. You see, not all were saved, there are corpses charred, larvae, grains bitten. Do not toil foolishness, take cereals to the zoo. Let the birds feed, bears porridge will cook ».

- "And to me that, since the bears have bacon? - I say. No, better aunt Nyusha'll take the farm. Chickens, pigs give. We will take the summer egg free, and even get svezhiny ».

And what did I say? JUlechka hysterically screaming:
 - All meanie, a meanie miserable! Enough is enough! My patience is exhausted. Seek Me Cinderella with a microscope. However, the beetles will fry wings crackle, and I have had enough! - Call a taxi for a new suitcase and remember, as he was called. I could walk and walk, near here, at hand, three stops on the subway.

It's a shame, already "wedding gift" bought. No, not a ticket, "Sports Lottery" - a novel Sally Carlin! Vaughn is in cellophane with hearts, waiting for a new bride.
Dear girls and women! Call, write, I will answer all.
"42, scientist, single, with no damage. and mat.p.. " Ready to get married right now on that, who knows, "What a mile hundred rubles?" And leave the apple ponytail.

P.S. Women, beware! The old bachelor - not just so!

Svetlana Samorodova ©

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