499
Barbecue
The second number, after returning to Moscow, the first thing we unpacked, sat, drank champagne, and I went for a walk with the dog. New gunfire did not cease for a moment not "rocket men", as the wound ran into the sky thousand rubles, passers wildly happy, or squander the void loot, or salute. As usual walk with the dog in NY - it dashes from bush to bush, slow pace, when all the stops and gallop when shots are resumed. After flying around the yard for 5 minutes, we returned home. Before I could really close the door as the bell rang, I looked through the peephole in the stairwell was a neighbor named Chuck. Why is Chuck? I do not know, just Chuck and everything. I opened the door.
- With NC you - he greeted
- Hello, and you just
- Listen, you do not have an ax? - I asked Chuck
- Well, was somewhere in the camp, and the hell you?
- Yeah, there's such a thing. We want to fry a shish kebab, we bought coal and ignition forgotten there in the courtyard of the old dry wood that Tajiks since autumn is not finished, we would have taken it with kindling - he explained
- Barbecue? In the yard? Upilis something really - I shook my head
- In short, you give the ax or not? - Chuck wound up
- Yes, ladies, ladies - I hastened to reassure him, and went in search of a small tourist hatchet.
At the sound of swarming in my closet I left Lyubimka.
- What are you doing here? - She asked
- Axe looking - I said over his shoulder. But I found - and I turned to her, holding an ax in the hands of
She just shook her head and left the room. I gave the ax Chuku and closed the door, wishing him luck.
Later, about 20 minutes after I had dressed, and prepared for viewing the next Hollywood "masterpiece" on the door bell rang. My, he looked at me, but said nothing. I got up, put on sneakers and reluctantly walked to the door. The sight glass sparkled again happy and rosy mug Chuka.
- Sanya, it's me - he shouted
- Well, what else? - I opened the door
- You smoke? - He asked
- Well? - I said
- I do not smoke, you know, too, Dimon, Lech also dropped. Lend a lighter, eh? We have nothing to rekindle the fire - in all seriousness he said
- And that no one in the District of lighters is not that right? We would ask passers-by - I was surprised
- Yes, what are you doing? I fell or what? We kindle the playground, where you can not smoke - he said
- Fucked up, you can not smoke and barbecues, so you can fry? - I was indignant
- Pro kebabs there is nothing written, but about smoking in black and white: Prohibited, a fine of 2000 rubles! - Demonstrated knowledge of the legislation Chuck
In the kitchen, he took a lighter and held it Chuku
- I hope that's it? - I asked sternly
- Yes, yes, thank you very much, I then listed all - joyful and Chuck ran to the elevators.
He closed the door and walked back into the room.
- Who is it this time? - Asked Lyubimka
- Chuck went for a lighter - I said
- Well, well, - she said, switching channels
An hour, maybe more, I was lying half-asleep, and looked at the screen with one eye. Then the door came another call.
- I'm going to kill him now! - Said a sweet
- Wait a minute you can what happened, the cops swept up there or something like that - and I'm wearing sneakers, walked back to the door
I looked through the peephole, mug Chuck has become more pink and more contented seen Satan took nOe amount of water. I opened the door.
- Well, listen - I asked calmly
- Sanya, you did not get angry, something we have not calculated with skewers. You will not have 3-5 stuff, eh? - Ingratiating asked Chuck
- I do not know if the cottage is not taken away, you will find - and I wandered into the depths of the apartment look skewers.
Finding a new set of five 5 skewers and grill lattice I returned to Chuku.
- On you go, and take the grille immediately to never return. Maybe something else is necessary? You just say, but really want to sleep - I asked
- And you have no extra tomatoes and cucumbers? On credit? - He asked
I went to the fridge took some tomatoes and cucumbers, folded in a bag and went to the front door, at this point of the bedroom came Lyubimka.
- Yeah, of course, take out zakus - she shook her head
- Yes, what zakus just vegetables neighbor borrow - I answered feebly
- I know these "just vegetables" - not appeased it
- Do not zudi - otneknulsya I reached the door and handed the package Chuku
- Thank you, Sanya, a brotherly chat rescued - began to crumble compliments he
- Okay, well, good luck to you, I am - and I closed the door
- Well done! What I have a caring, whole staircase fed - said Lyubimka.
- Everything went to sleep - I said
Close to four in the morning there was another ring at the door. I do not even responded sleepily.
- Lie down, I'll get it. Shotgun where our? - Asked Lyubimka
At the word: gun, I already jumped a foot away from the bed.
- Now I understand, sleep - I ordered
Approaching the door, I looked through the peephole, there already were two, and Chuck Lech. I opened the door
- You do ebnulis? At the time, watched? - I hissed
- Sanya! Sorry! Last, that's very, very last time - hiccupped Lech
- The last wife was a priest ... What happened again? - I yawned
- Sanyayayaya, you know such a thing. Time 4am - began a monologue Chuck
- Ooh, discovery, damn, I know that 4 am, I'm at your mercy all 4:00 I do not sleep - I growled
- Do not interrupt ... So, 4 in the morning ... And shops that? - I asked Chuck
- What store? - I do not understand
- Closed shops. Before 9 am closed. Hy, you know, how terrible? - Said Chuck
- Not really. What is required of me? Shop you open? - I looked at him
- Noooo, stealing is bad - hiccupped Chuck
- In short, what you want from me? - I do not understand
- Well, what are you still dumb when sober - mumbled Lech
- What is ... saying that we should, or I close the door - I was angry
- Well, like what? I have something to drink? And then we have this ... the Cuban missile crisis, the drought - threw up his hands Chuck
- I do not have anything, half a bottle of champagne there - I said
- Champagne? - Lech winced. A human is that?
- Okay, do not be left behind because, wait a minute now! - I said, and went into the kitchen.
The cabinet found some bottle Khortitsa, went into the corridor and immediately drew my bedroom in the doorway:
- Yeah, of course, made a snack, vodka is now gone - she shook her head
- Well, what are you talking about? The boys asked - I said
- Yes, everything is clear, NY we have, I feel, will be fun - began to make Lyubimka.
I quickly brushed past her and put a bottle of Lech.
- All your favorite guys already go away and never come. However, because the guys? - Hissed at them, I
- Yes, yes ... My favorite thanks not arrive! - Said Chuck buhoy
- What a dick on the favorite? The bad is that it? - Tsiknul on Chuck Lech
- Pardon me, madam, Happy New Year - Chuck hiccupped.
I closed the door behind them. Sleep has got sick, so we have included zomboyaschik and trendeli about anything under his accompaniment. After 40 minutes, the door bell rang again.
- I will not open - I said
- No, I open, I'm wondering what it's all over
He got up from the bed, walked to the door without asking who it was, opened the door. There were of Lech and Chuck in their hands was a huge plate of barbecue
- Aah, la, Alaverdi - barely managed a Chuck
- Or by our table to your table - said Lech
I took the plate and thanked.
- And we'll go out there with our neighbor a couple of bottles of the 6th drove - said Lech.
I closed the door and began to examine the skewers on a plate.
- Well, at least I do not have to cook breakfast - smiled Lyubimka.
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- With NC you - he greeted
- Hello, and you just
- Listen, you do not have an ax? - I asked Chuck
- Well, was somewhere in the camp, and the hell you?
- Yeah, there's such a thing. We want to fry a shish kebab, we bought coal and ignition forgotten there in the courtyard of the old dry wood that Tajiks since autumn is not finished, we would have taken it with kindling - he explained
- Barbecue? In the yard? Upilis something really - I shook my head
- In short, you give the ax or not? - Chuck wound up
- Yes, ladies, ladies - I hastened to reassure him, and went in search of a small tourist hatchet.
At the sound of swarming in my closet I left Lyubimka.
- What are you doing here? - She asked
- Axe looking - I said over his shoulder. But I found - and I turned to her, holding an ax in the hands of
She just shook her head and left the room. I gave the ax Chuku and closed the door, wishing him luck.
Later, about 20 minutes after I had dressed, and prepared for viewing the next Hollywood "masterpiece" on the door bell rang. My, he looked at me, but said nothing. I got up, put on sneakers and reluctantly walked to the door. The sight glass sparkled again happy and rosy mug Chuka.
- Sanya, it's me - he shouted
- Well, what else? - I opened the door
- You smoke? - He asked
- Well? - I said
- I do not smoke, you know, too, Dimon, Lech also dropped. Lend a lighter, eh? We have nothing to rekindle the fire - in all seriousness he said
- And that no one in the District of lighters is not that right? We would ask passers-by - I was surprised
- Yes, what are you doing? I fell or what? We kindle the playground, where you can not smoke - he said
- Fucked up, you can not smoke and barbecues, so you can fry? - I was indignant
- Pro kebabs there is nothing written, but about smoking in black and white: Prohibited, a fine of 2000 rubles! - Demonstrated knowledge of the legislation Chuck
In the kitchen, he took a lighter and held it Chuku
- I hope that's it? - I asked sternly
- Yes, yes, thank you very much, I then listed all - joyful and Chuck ran to the elevators.
He closed the door and walked back into the room.
- Who is it this time? - Asked Lyubimka
- Chuck went for a lighter - I said
- Well, well, - she said, switching channels
An hour, maybe more, I was lying half-asleep, and looked at the screen with one eye. Then the door came another call.
- I'm going to kill him now! - Said a sweet
- Wait a minute you can what happened, the cops swept up there or something like that - and I'm wearing sneakers, walked back to the door
I looked through the peephole, mug Chuck has become more pink and more contented seen Satan took nOe amount of water. I opened the door.
- Well, listen - I asked calmly
- Sanya, you did not get angry, something we have not calculated with skewers. You will not have 3-5 stuff, eh? - Ingratiating asked Chuck
- I do not know if the cottage is not taken away, you will find - and I wandered into the depths of the apartment look skewers.
Finding a new set of five 5 skewers and grill lattice I returned to Chuku.
- On you go, and take the grille immediately to never return. Maybe something else is necessary? You just say, but really want to sleep - I asked
- And you have no extra tomatoes and cucumbers? On credit? - He asked
I went to the fridge took some tomatoes and cucumbers, folded in a bag and went to the front door, at this point of the bedroom came Lyubimka.
- Yeah, of course, take out zakus - she shook her head
- Yes, what zakus just vegetables neighbor borrow - I answered feebly
- I know these "just vegetables" - not appeased it
- Do not zudi - otneknulsya I reached the door and handed the package Chuku
- Thank you, Sanya, a brotherly chat rescued - began to crumble compliments he
- Okay, well, good luck to you, I am - and I closed the door
- Well done! What I have a caring, whole staircase fed - said Lyubimka.
- Everything went to sleep - I said
Close to four in the morning there was another ring at the door. I do not even responded sleepily.
- Lie down, I'll get it. Shotgun where our? - Asked Lyubimka
At the word: gun, I already jumped a foot away from the bed.
- Now I understand, sleep - I ordered
Approaching the door, I looked through the peephole, there already were two, and Chuck Lech. I opened the door
- You do ebnulis? At the time, watched? - I hissed
- Sanya! Sorry! Last, that's very, very last time - hiccupped Lech
- The last wife was a priest ... What happened again? - I yawned
- Sanyayayaya, you know such a thing. Time 4am - began a monologue Chuck
- Ooh, discovery, damn, I know that 4 am, I'm at your mercy all 4:00 I do not sleep - I growled
- Do not interrupt ... So, 4 in the morning ... And shops that? - I asked Chuck
- What store? - I do not understand
- Closed shops. Before 9 am closed. Hy, you know, how terrible? - Said Chuck
- Not really. What is required of me? Shop you open? - I looked at him
- Noooo, stealing is bad - hiccupped Chuck
- In short, what you want from me? - I do not understand
- Well, what are you still dumb when sober - mumbled Lech
- What is ... saying that we should, or I close the door - I was angry
- Well, like what? I have something to drink? And then we have this ... the Cuban missile crisis, the drought - threw up his hands Chuck
- I do not have anything, half a bottle of champagne there - I said
- Champagne? - Lech winced. A human is that?
- Okay, do not be left behind because, wait a minute now! - I said, and went into the kitchen.
The cabinet found some bottle Khortitsa, went into the corridor and immediately drew my bedroom in the doorway:
- Yeah, of course, made a snack, vodka is now gone - she shook her head
- Well, what are you talking about? The boys asked - I said
- Yes, everything is clear, NY we have, I feel, will be fun - began to make Lyubimka.
I quickly brushed past her and put a bottle of Lech.
- All your favorite guys already go away and never come. However, because the guys? - Hissed at them, I
- Yes, yes ... My favorite thanks not arrive! - Said Chuck buhoy
- What a dick on the favorite? The bad is that it? - Tsiknul on Chuck Lech
- Pardon me, madam, Happy New Year - Chuck hiccupped.
I closed the door behind them. Sleep has got sick, so we have included zomboyaschik and trendeli about anything under his accompaniment. After 40 minutes, the door bell rang again.
- I will not open - I said
- No, I open, I'm wondering what it's all over
He got up from the bed, walked to the door without asking who it was, opened the door. There were of Lech and Chuck in their hands was a huge plate of barbecue
- Aah, la, Alaverdi - barely managed a Chuck
- Or by our table to your table - said Lech
I took the plate and thanked.
- And we'll go out there with our neighbor a couple of bottles of the 6th drove - said Lech.
I closed the door and began to examine the skewers on a plate.
- Well, at least I do not have to cook breakfast - smiled Lyubimka.
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Source: