Most standing jokes with Anekdota.ru Bashny.Net

General:
 - Yesterday at the site was produced an explosion of new nuclear charge, ranging from 20 to 50 kt ...
 Journalist:
 - Excuse me, why such uncertainty in capacity from 20 to 50?
 General: Well, you know, we thought 20 kilotons, and how he fucked @ No!

That was long ago ... one man boasted that detect touch any animal.
 We decided to check his sidekick. Blindfold slipped cat.
 The guy says, they say, it's a cat, suit a certain age, and so on. D.
 Slipped dog - that's right, too determined.
 Which beast did not lead - never wrong, bitch ...
 Hauled ass. A man of his long oshshupyval. Then he scratched his turnips and says:
 - Judging by the magnitude and length of the ears * yn, this hare 300 years!

Man comes to the doctor.
 - Doctor, write me please Viagra.
 - What happened?
 - Yes, you know Friday comes girlfriend, ex-wife on Saturday, and on Sunday a new wife returned. So I do not want to lose face.
 The doctor replies:
 - Well, we usually in such cases refuse, but you'll write so be it. Just come back to reception on Monday to be checked.
 Man comes back to the doctor on Monday. He looks doctor and the guy right arm in a sling.
 - What happened?
 A man answers:
 - Nobody came ...

Dad and son engaged in masturbation ...
 The son asks his father: "Dad, there's a woman?»
 The father replies: "No, it's fantastic».

 - Why do men go gray earlier than women?
 - Because women one egg and the male sperm count of 10 million. And for every soul hurts.

Sitting on a branch two ants - hunt. Saw elephant first jumped on him and started jumping, biting ... And the second he shouts:
 "Vasya, get away now I will break the backbone!»

One evening, sitting at the TV, my husband looks at her belly fat on the belly of his wife, in their ball-dog, and says:
 - That's disgusting, it is necessary to do something. With all start tomorrow morning jog.
 The next morning he wakes up in the morning alarm clock at six, gets up and starts to wake his wife.
She at first did not respond, then scrape the eye, asks what time it is, and refuses to go anywhere.
Then the husband said to her:
 - Well, if you do not want to run, to pay a fine.
 - What?
 - Choose: in the mouth or ass?
 - In the mouth ...
 She starts making him a blow job, and said:
 - Listen, you now as a particularly disgusting smell!
 - You know, the dog also refused to run ...