Guide visitors Bashny.Net

1. First of all, drop conventions. This city you are not home, right? So do not hesitate xto blow your nose with two fingers, mother and juicy spit on the pavement. Itch out of necessity? Next there is always someone else's porch or a playground! Believe me, Muscovites your identity and emancipation only impressed.

2. Some geezer guided the city with the help of signs, directions, references and. Do not try to bother such trifles! Muscovites madly in love when they were stopped by questions: How does the Cherkizovsky market, which is this subway station, and where is the street ... how to ... well, one where white house with green balcony!

3. Understand once and for all: despite the many factories and research institutes, Moscow anything useful for the country does not! If someone tells you that the city provides 30% of the budget of the country, but because it feeds on the orders of a dozen Russian regions - safely respond that this fudge capital Masons.

4. Remember, honest and a lot of work only in your lower Usteevke! In Moscow, the oligarchs live alone. We have only two classes - at night to decompose in posh clubs, and in the afternoon rolled on the black «BMW» and strip the regions. Just make it clear: you can see through our mischief! Appropriate following phrases: "that bitch - not yet eaten ?!" "on our backs did not hitting?" And so on.

5. It goes without saying that every Muscovite is personally responsible for everything that happens in Russia. The snowfall, flooding or a new law on the elimination of benefits nizhneusteevskim wipers? Immediately gives us a their claims! And do not be confused by the law adopted by the Government, which has almost no Muscovites. The government is sitting where? The Kremlin. And where the Kremlin? That's right, in Moscow. That's right!

6. If you manage to rent an apartment in the capital - just set the house of their order. (This is just for the proverb stranger monastery with its charter, not walk). Let the public become accustomed: there, where you came, underwear drying in the yard, in common with their neighbors from the windows, and at night listening Serduchka at full volume. Who does not like -Let moves out!

7. Once in Moscow in an unfamiliar company immediately put others aware how you hate these freaks Muscovites! Do not be afraid to insult anyone. First, in recent years, these Muscovites in the city during the day with fire will not find. Secondly, even if some of you and wormed LIVE Muscovite, he would say nothing. It weighs a guilt complex because he was born here, but not in Lower Usteevke.

8. At the slightest financial difficulties asking for a loan. Residents of the capital literally succumb under the weight of dishonestly earned millions. Muscovite shame that in Lower Usteevke his salary can feed 5 people, cat and 4 cows! And let not justified exorbitant Moscow prices, it's not your problem. Give taken not in a hurry. Money Muscovite so much that remind you of the debt - just rudeness.

9. In general: please, often to satisfy their needs at our expense! For example, if you have not taken care of, where you will spend the night - tell your friend Muscovite, staring into his eyes. Do any of us is always at the ready is a separate room, specially for such cases. A mother-in-law may have a sleep in the hallway. On the cot.

10. It is time to think about a career. The main thing, though sideways, so settle into a solid office. Now, look around carefully. With colleagues from the province! Visit countrymen how difficult simple kid in this town ... Let fussing. Slightly rising, look for nearby Muscovite, whose position is more promising. It was his place you have to take. Do not worry: we Muscovites do not value our work. We and so it is. Feel free to go to the boss and ask to perform the same duties for a little less money. Do not forget to watch as a Muscovite collects things.