Psychological tests or someone who

One day (I was 23) I passed - had to go through - psychological tests. Most of these tests, I quickly and more or less permanently passed ranneyunosheskuyu craving to know himself, considered absolute okolonaukoobraziem, and those who do it - charlatans and idiots (I later met a couple sane and honest psychologists great professional recognition they have not reached). The result of the testing was important for me - the worse the result so I'd better. He did not want me in the army. I decided that we should not fool around. If I tell the truth - a psychologist just think I'm a fool.
 It began, of course, the question of orientation in space, time and situation. I laughed. - Why are you laughing? - You do not know? - What I do not know? - What day is today. - I know. - Then why did you ask? - I want to make sure that you know. - I know, although I do not need it. - So tell. - Tuesday, is a number. - And why you do not need? - Because this knowledge does not affect my current schedule.
 Psychologist pozadavat still any questions, checking answers with what has been in my personal file. In my opinion, he was surprised that everything matched.
 Rorschach test. Do I know what it is? - Yes, I know it's a Rorschach test. You ask me to say that these pictures remind me. I must disappoint you, they remind me of a Rorschach test. - And what, you really do not see in these pictures of some shapes, images? - No. I see ink stains that have rotational symmetry. - And no butterflies? - What are the butterflies, it's ink stains, are you not see?
 Psychologist something marked on your piece of paper and drew a horizontal axis on the paper with two arrows at the ends. Here, in this aspect of happiness, the opposite - unhappiness.
Put an end to the place that meets your presentation on your happy. - When? - Now. - Who put and is now happy? - Who is happy. - And where to put? - Too right now. - A happy what? - Like what? - Well, look. I now have a reason to be unhappy, because the institution where we are located, poorly equipped for happiness? - Well, yes, in general. - On the other hand, I have all this testing is very entertaining. So now, in general I am quite depressed, and now directly - exactly the opposite. And to sum up, I can not, because of these two values ​​as a physicist would say, different dimensions, it's like if you add up the kilometers to the liter.
 So my point is not on your axis. - But we also need to decide whether you consider yourself a happy person? - This is for you. Not to me. I already know what I'm human. - How can you know? - Well, I have at home. - But you're human sciences have not studied? - No. - Then how do you know? - And you have studied the dynamics of static? - No. - How do you go then? If you do so you need to, put this point yourself, I will not argue. - But it is my idea, not yours, and I need yours. - Then why is your axis?
 - Okay. - Said the psychologist, making notes. - Draw, please wood. - You what? On the ground, without soil, foliage, without leaves, or maybe an evergreen? Or fruit?
 - That which you will draw itself. - I wonder why you think that I have drawn the trees themselves? - What have you drawn itself? - Sailing. - Why? - Because they are beautiful because in order to properly draw a sailboat does not need to be able to draw well. - Oh well. Draw then the house. House you can draw? - I can. (I drew a plan of the house in which I would like to live and began to explain to him where in him: it this workshop, then a bathroom ...). - No, no, draw outside view. - No, no, let a specialist paints ...
 Then there were questions about what I'm looking for and find it in the books (different, but do you think?), The relationship with parents, with friends, with women (relationships with parents, friends, and the women I talk to parents, friends and women and you - do not discuss), questions about the family, and such. I continued to question the meaningfulness of questions. After an hour of head-butting me, this is not amused, and a half - was distinctly unpleasant.
 - Why do not you cooperate? - I asked the psychologist. I replied that we have different goals with him, so I do not really understand what kind of cooperation it. - And what are your goals?
 - How is what? Look at the ways in which you want something to learn about me. I am testing your pseudoscience.
 - Why do you think this is pseudoscience? - Because it's pseudoscience. I could have quite deliberately to give you different answers, and you would come to completely different conclusions. I could pile up your nonsense about what I see in spots Rorschach. Could you draw trees, houses and so on. And I would have turned out a different person. You see, if you study what's really there, then you need to gently pry and do not poke me with all sorts of Rorschach. You know that the impact of the observer - even in physics - distorts the observation? - I know. - Then you should know that monitoring can be trusted only if you can ascertain that the influence of the observer little. In this case, it is not only large but also an indefinite large.
 - Why? - Because, for example, that if you were a woman, or you have less growth, or something else, I would probably not make you lose patience with your answers and remarks. I would you could you just pity. - You me? - Well, I - you, why not? I could feel sorry for you, make a good impression, to save you time. If you have no issues - I will go.
 Questions he did not have. Perhaps he would have been very unhappy at this moment. Of course, on my scale, if I have it.

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