Know ours! Bashny.Net

Scene One.

Norwegian Sea. Big diesel submarine B-34, hiding from the "Orion", submerged avtonomki returns from its home base Liinakhamari.
 Four o'clock in the morning. On the change of watch Exec. Under the water too hot, so dress on the boat - "razuha" -odnorazovye shorts and T-shirt made of thin fabric hebeshnoy, the people - "marlevki."
 Fresh water supply is limited, to not give her a wash, so wash only succeeds on the surface seawater cooling going on working diesel engines. Hair of such water is not promoesh, so haircuts are all basically nalyso. The purity of the body is maintained by wiping it with an alcohol swab, which are issued by a doctor every day.
 Shave too difficult. If you do not use aftershave cologne will be boring, and if he borrowed - the compartment will stand the smell before the next ascent and ventilation. (Remember - "My unshaven boys" Admiral Doenitz?)
 XO baldeet by Alla Pugacheva, so in the central, driving sleep on watch, for the umpteenth time in a low voice yells ostochertevshie everything except XO singer. "Hey, you up there ..." Mate said this song is very important.
 At the top of a bunch of goals, the Norwegian cod foraged. Because every change course, makes no sense.
 Suddenly, the boat slows down and almost stops. Boatswain's report on the trim nose. The XO team full back. The effect is the same.
 The trim on the nose is growing and is close to disaster.
 Emergency alarm. The sleepy commander who had entered in the "central" command from the second compartment emergency ascent. Purged the main ballast tanks. "Emergency party built in the 4th compartment."

Scene Two.
 Norwegian peace seiners deepwater trawl catch flounder.

Polar day at four in the morning the sun is shining. Idyll.
 Suddenly dynamometers trawls (placed to determine the load on the trawl and respectively - the number of fish caught) load increases dramatically. The first reaction - "In the fucking caught!". Dynamometers rolls. Thrall begins to drag the vessel to a depth of feed sinking, the nose is lifted up almost vertically. The vessel panic.
 Suddenly, a few hundred meters from the ship appear from the depths of huge bubbles of air and from the water like a cork from a bottle flies' dick knows what "tall with a 3-storey house.
 This "dick knows what 'get out bald, bearded men in shorts and with axes, cut net, catching the fence cutting and sonar" cock "on the nose, then just as silently climb back and cool bulknuv finally, a" dick knows that "disappears.
 I do not know whether to believe "Norway" in aliens, but no "score" then followed, although gray hair have probably increased.
 It's not the bike. Somewhere in the eighty-seventh year that way, amerikossky icebreaker in the Sea of ​​Japan dragged to the depth of the network and sank a Japanese fishing seiner. There was a big scandal. And the "dizelyuhi" probably "relics" is not enough. And the speed of the water was not great. All five nodes.