Selection of aphorisms

11. Tales - it's scary stories, carefully prepare children for

reading newspapers and watching television news.

12. In what other country alcohol is stored in armored safes, and "nuclear

button "- in a plastic carrying case.

13. Wisdom does not always come with age. It happens that age

It comes one.

14. Diarrhea matter what speed you have, not from your provider.

15. Life is, of course, did not succeed, but everything else was fine.

16. If you long call relatives or friends, so they all


17. Excuse me, what I say, when you interrupt.

18. If you find it hard to chew granite science - try to suck.

19. Just remember, knowledge is not transmitted sexually.

20. "Gifts on February 23, an investment in gifts on March 8»

21. If you add up the dark past with a bright future, it will turn gray

the present.

22. Optimism - is when you do not wash the dishes at night, hoping the morning to

it will be more hunting.

23. Russia - cheeful country, any prognosis for her in the end

It is optimistic.

24. One of the ills of the new Russia that the concept of the mind, honor and conscience become

mutually exclusive.

25. The smaller woman about the dress, the more time it

this will require.

26. If you argue with an idiot, probably doing the same thing he did.

27. Silly marry, and marry smart.

28. Decent person can easily find out by how clumsy he

It makes meanness.

29. Whenever I remember that God is just, I tremble

for their country.

30. The man who admitted his mistake when he is wrong - sage.

The man admitted his mistake when he is right - married.

31. "Image - nothing, thirst - all!" - Was justified Brother Ivan nervously

tsokaya hoof.

32. We are slowly harnessed, we go fast, and strong brakes.

33. In my opinion, sincerity - a lack of self-control.

34. The surest way to get my wife to listen to you carefully -

to talk in his sleep.

35. Modesty adorns a man, indiscretion - a woman.

36. If you help a friend in trouble, he'll remember you when

again get into trouble.

37. Once I was young and handsome, and now - just beautiful.

38. We have not left and not right, because we felt boots

39. What Russian does not like to drive fast - senseless and


40. There is no such clear and bright ideas, which would make the Russian people could not

to express in a dirty obscene form.

41. No one like Russian, not stun fish! (in the Pacific Ocean - yes

space station!)

42. Well not just where we do not have, and where we had never been there!

43. If you have a beautiful wife, drop dead lover, cool car,

no problems with the authorities and the tax authorities, and when you go to

outside the sun always shines and you smile at passers - say NO


44. Democracy is a dictatorship with the elements - the same as with constipation elements


45. If you want to make God laugh - tell him about your plans.

46. ​​Few know his own worth - should still be in demand.

47. If a man never lies a woman, then he spit on her


48. If a woman says "no" - so she just wants to talk!

49. Life experience - a mass of valuable knowledge about how not to themselves

conduct in situations that will never happen again.

50. From the life does not get better than "scant joy telegram" and generosity

long transfers.

51. Christ is Risen! We stayed ...

52. Better extradition than the exhumation. Pavel Borodin.

53. If your wife suddenly gives you a tie - hence, a new mink

coat she had ceased to please.

54. And the wolves are fed and the sheep are safe, and the shepherd eternal memory.

55. When pressed for time, there is no place for friendship - only love.

56. Milk is doubly funny if after cucumbers.

57. says the head of your mind - is like winking

the woman in the dark, says the head of his stupidity - all the same,

that man winking in the light.

58. Hurry woman - the same thing, trying to speed up the loading

computer. The program still has to fulfill all the obvious

necessary actions and many things that always remains hidden from

your understanding.

59. Show me a man who has no problems, and I found in

a scar from a brain injury.

60. Earth through the porthole! Earth through the porthole! How to pour

it?! ..

61. If the diapers too tight in front, then ended in childhood.

62. If you are jealous, it means that these people worse than you.

63. The best means of cockroaches - dense neutron flux ...

64. Life goes so fast, as if she is not interesting to us ...

65. If you are calm, and around you in a panic, screaming people running around -

perhaps you do not understand ...

66. The world is smaller than it is impossible to buy, and more and more of,

it is impossible to sell.

67. Go for sleep at bedtime.

68. Valuable advice: NEVER unzip a gift once, and wait for

leaving guests. If you deploy it at a party, then none of

his presence is no longer presented ...

69. It is better to keep silent and appear stupid than to open your mouth and finally

dispel doubts.

70. Smart man tries not to give women the reasons for offense, but smart

woman to be offended, and do not need excuses.

71. Experimental Rabbit can afford almost everything.

72. The girl was eighteen and thirty winters.

73. Raised a man not a woman to make observations, bad carrier


74. A girl can invite you to dinner and breakfast?

75. When talking to you with a request, "Tell me, honestly ..." with

horror realize that now, most likely, you'll have a lot of lies.

76. If every year you say you've changed for the better,

inevitably you think - and who were you initially.

77. Everyone thought the extent of their promiscuity, but think about one

and the same.

78. For some reason, every unhappy family is always a pervert, and the other

 - A fool.

79. "Humanity has existed for thousands of years, and nothing new between man

and a woman can not happen. "(Oscar Wilde)

80. A woman believes that two and two is five, if properly cry

and a scandal.

81. The life of man is given once, but, usually, at the

inopportune moment.

82. "I love to travel, to visit new cities, countries, meet

new people. "Genghis Khan (R. Asprin)

83. Some people believe that they think, while they are just

rearrange their prejudices. (S. Johnson).

84. Do you help or hinder?

85. This woman should cut down a tree, destroying the house and grow


86. There are people in whom God lives. There are people in whom the devil lives. A

There are people that only live worms. (F. Ranevskaya)

87. Sponsor - a person who part with their money easier than

to explain where they came from.

88. There is a lot to remember, but there is nothing for children to tell ...

89. The Russian man is capable homesick, even leaving it.

90. We have no insurmountable difficulties, there are only challenges that

we overcome laziness.

91. If a person knows what he wants, then he or knows a lot or

few wants.

92. In life there is always a feat. You just need to be away from

this place.

93. Rich and expressive Russian. But already it was not enough.

94. Russian man on an empty stomach can not think, but on a full - not


95. If a third blade shaves even cleaner, then why do we need the first two?

96. The Russian road called the place where going to pass.

97. Anyone who frequently uses toilet paper, should land at

least one tree.

98. A person of any age interested in: "And how Judas received our

Money? »

99. If you are already the third time in a row sleepy, so today



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