Someone who keeps: we are parents or they have Bashny.Net

When we care about the parents, it is important to distinguish:

—they really can't take care of themselves and believe need help.

Or

— we are so dependent on them emotionally that it is easier to take on the removal of any of their domestic and emotional discomfort. Dependence on parents is expressed in the guilt of living his own life the way you want, the offense to the parents and are sensitive to their criticism. It's like we're tied to him with ropes so tightly that any strain, movement and causes discomfort. Why we've been sitting in this bundle?

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We are afraid to become ungrateful, but unconscious we are even more afraid to live by your wits, when all the targets ask yourself only we are responsible for our actions only arrives to us. Parents don't let us go until we ourselves are responsible for them cling. While we are children in its claims and the desire to always be for everyone, but especially for them, good. Good parental understanding.

Parents the perfect way to start to deal with my life without you, when you yourself/and let go of mother's skirt father's sleeve. How do you feel after reading this?

If one thought about the fact that parents are perfectly able to live without you — you're uncomfortable, it means they didn't hold and need you, and you in them. So you have a big way.

In this "caring" parents very quickly regress, forget how to do what they could, and cease to make the effort to understand new things, to solve the problem yourself. In the end, I often see fifty people who can't solve their problems.

Once adult children start to live their lives and direct their energies on building their future, parents often suddenly begin to delight them with their progress in computer science and philosophy)

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And sometimes not start. And then the task of growing up is to allow parents to live the way they live. Yes, many choose to spit on their health, financial situation, appearance. To us this is very painful, but for the sake of avoiding this pain forcing the person causing him "good" — is harmful to both.

My mom recently recovered the password from Vkontakte, writing support, vitrasa of them even something that you have to press and where to enter.But before I called, even if accidentally closed the tab. An elderly friend went herself to get acquainted with a neighbor, although 3 years was suffering from isolation.

We can help your parents, if you learn to help yourself. When you stop to solve the problem of parents and focus on the problems of his age.

PS we are not Talking about deep elderly or persons with disabilities, although many of us will care for infirm parents, but all interested in the fact that it happened as late as possible and was not caused by learned helplessness.published 

 

Author: Anna Negreeva

photo © Sandra Coan



Source: annanegreeva.ru/kto-kogo-derzhit-roditeli-vas-ili-vy-roditelej/