Mental castration: selfishness in relationships Bashny.Net

Change the World — cries Selfishness. Change Yourself — whispers of Love…

Vlad Pak

 

The theme of human relations is as old as the world. Even ancient minds trying to understand the relationship between a man and a woman, and I must admit, this tops the world learned how he ought to live, without prejudice to the interests of each other. Why, then, passing through the millstone of the time and condemning gender bias, humanity still building their relationship in the likeness of an apes. So the problem is not solved?

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We also continue to dominate each other, showing unrestrained selfishness. First, trying to "crack" your partner is selfish, any way to make him love me, to fill his life with themselves, not leaving a place for Hobbies, especially if it goes against your interests; the next step is "build relationships": delicately manipulating, with a maniacal passion, I try to "restart" his character, however, is with their attitudes; but if not out – erasable, "beat pots", not even trying to look for a problem in itself.

The reason of such relations trivial, and as always – lies on the surface: we just strongly do not want to notice it exhibited the same banal selfishness.

Undoubtedly, in today's world selfishness has become a sign of a strong personality. The image of a sociopath who is completely self-absorbed, lacking empathy, patience and love, often poured into the minds of viewers with TV screens, glossy magazines and monitors laptop. We impose this social model of behavior.

Selfish confident, defiant, silenced, interrupting in mid-sentence, in a word, castrate yourself around all the polls. Many even indulge him. Of course, this psycho is very cinematic, as if descended from the screens of Hollywood movies. His charisma and comprehensive Outlook beats all ratings of a controversial talk show. But it is easy to find next to him? Does it not seem to you that he "pokosnoye" in real life, and sometimes even harmful for health.

The selfish do not know the primacy of love and generosity. He's a stranger to sacrifice, a willingness to quickly compromise, the ability to forgive and to respect the opinion of a partner, he does not want to see him as a personality, he will never support and help him (unless it flatters his ego), the more sincerely proud of the achievements of his companion.

 

Egoism is a chronic lack of love in the human heart.

Julian Wilson

 

Unfortunately, I must admit that the character of each of us who consider themselves not selfish, all share the same selfishness. We still avoided to accept your partner the way he is. Constantly confronted with inconsistencies in their patterns. Forever dissatisfied with something. Maybe it's in our nature — we all need something to change, whether the world around us, or internal foreign... (with its harder blocked me partner).

However, there is an explanation: if you are looking for a life partner among silicone friends, it is easy for your character from the human world, in nature, in principle, does not exist, it will still have something to change and something to sacrifice. But it is imperative to understand: do not try to connect your soul mate, looking for licked instagram celebrities. In real life, their characters can be even worse than ours, not to mention retouched appearance.

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Wanting to eliminate a selfishness in the first place, it would not hurt to learn to love the person with all his flaws. After all, you are far not the standard of human beauty. You can also seem ugly, limited and smelly type, in addition, poorly educated and weak lover. It is not excluded, that you own all of those titles, which you so generously showered their partner. This is it for you, some not so, and someone will notice it aristocratic features... and drop to his feet halfway around the world.

Don't forget about it!

Playing in a family of dictators, people often are not able to overcome his egotistical qualities, and, to keep your high self-esteem and arrogance, castrated partner. With frequent use, the statement "if you don't change, then we have no future" becomes their motto is and remains nothing as soon as to conform to the pattern of this query. And it breaks itself... to the skeleton, becoming faceless and faded, like a moth.

Now he is able only occasionally, in a fit of self-affirmation, to declare of self-realization, hesitantly expressing the accumulated discontent, and despair, as the same faceless mole, only to wave their wings than to provoke only anger and sarcastic smile selfish partner; and in the end wasted the last of his strength, folded wings, taking: that the struggle is useless, will have to accept this fate and to abandon the idea of becoming the master of your life.

 

"Selfishness is not that people live as he wants, but the fact that he makes others to live according to his principles."

Oscar Wilde

 

Mental castration, which so subtly own all selfish, gradually alters human in an inert creature, because he, on a subconscious level, suggesting that he is nobody, that he was incredibly lucky, having met the selfish in its path, and has found someone who will go ahead of you, the louder you scream and it's better to know where you should move on – you only need to be obedient sheep.

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But how to behave in such a situation, the person who created this energy slavery? To divorce or to break itself? Be the uncomplaining sheep? And if, after such withdrawal, you will permanently become a different person?

In the family it seems that everything is normal, but friends and parents shouting from all sides you, that this radical change has crippled you beyond recognition.

After that you start now to look for the approach; but none of them able to give you correct advice on how to live. The thread is lost. What now? Again to change? Or to run for their lives? But if this fight last forever?..

 

"We're wasting time looking for perfect lover instead of creating perfect love»

Tom Robbins

 

Tips for those partner presses his ego:

In a tactful manner to explain their criticisms. Don't be afraid to say it sincerely! If you do not hear, do it again, then again, if nothing changes, quietly withdrew from his life, without insults and useless explanation of the relationship.

To change only in the case if you break not your best qualities and habits (forbidden to build a career, to be who you've always dreamed of, etc.), only bad. Realistically assess the situation and don't dramatize, don't analyze subjective motives of those or other actions of the partner, search for a causal relationship.

Remember, selfless love and sacrifice selfishness is not treated, only fueled.

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A tip for those who own presses partner:

Don't castrate your partner! Don't castrate your partner! Don't castrate your partner! Think of what humiliating to be the Creator of invertebrate creatures.

Cultivate your habits only to those people who share them too. Do not try on "your costume" partner — he may not approach it in size, color or style. And stop thinking only of your pleasure.

The main features of selfish (put a tick):

• Exaggerated love of self;
  
  
• Unwillingness to compromise;
  
  
• Intolerance;
  
  
• Use others for your pleasure;
  
  
• Interrupt speech of the interlocutor;
  
  
• Inattention to the desires of others;
  
  
• Not accepting criticism;
  
  
• The imposition of the plans of others;
  
  
• Vindictiveness;
  
  
• Touchiness;
  
  
• Pride;
  
  
• Cowardice;
  
  
• Boastfulness;
  
  
• Shifting on the other the causes of their failures;
  
  
• Not accepting what you are accused of selfishness.
  
  

 

Knowledge in everyday life, these truths will help you save not only your physical and mental health, but eventually to cement for life your Union with happiness and respect to each other.

 



For women who sleep with married men, there is a special place in hellIntolerance proximity

PS And if it so happened that after reading the article, you still came to the conclusion that you do not have the opportunity to overcome his selfishness (and it may seem that you are deprived of it in principle), then you need to dig deeper, looking into his childhood (of course, there is no psychoanalyst is not enough); and you will see that zastrelim infant selfishness (narcissism, narcissism and inflated sense of self-importance).

But you will agree, this is a weak excuse, and it only works on children – even unconscious beings, because only they tend to regard as the norm too high, almost grandiose opinion of himself. Time to grow up, comrades!published 

 

Author: Helen Sharman

 



Source: Helen Sharman