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I limp rag or force have?
Bashny.Net
You control the circumstances or they manage you? Who is dictating you the choice of work, Hobbies, lifestyle and behavior? How to take responsibility for what is happening and why control over life makes us happier?
"I was brought up" – confusedly justifies a man, not talking to the wife compliments.
"The chief-the petty tyrant, it's impossible to work" – emotionally gesticulating young man, holding a signed letter of resignation.
What unites these characters? Shifting responsibility for what is happening to other people. If you believe the theory of determinism (man has no choice, he is only a pawn), the responsibility for our present position brings someone else: the boss, parents, wife, friends, neighbors.
Simply put, we tend to blame everything on others. And that is quite convenient all around to blame for my troubles and misfortunes, and I do normal guy! If you continue on this path, then at the end you will be disappointed and not understand why your life is not what you want to see her. And why the mods already opened a private art school, (though you were in the same Institute), and you still unrecognized artist of the underpass.
People are reactive, used to go with the flow, falls into the trap of learned helplessness. It appears after fruitless attempts to change the situation. The man now his will is in the negative circumstances, but not even trying to improve them, although it has the opportunity. For example, trying 2-3 times to get a promotion by conversation with the chief, the employee simply resigns himself to the situation. But methods for career growth are many.
What science saysthe Phenomenon of learned helplessness was discovered by American psychologist Martin Seligman in 1967. A few years later his colleagues conducted a study confirming that the ability to control the circumstances in your life has a positive effect on mental and even physical condition of the people.
Participants – 91 a resident of the nursing home.
Residents 2 floors left to lead a normal lifestyle with the help of staff. They said, "We want to make your room look comfortable as possible and will try to do. We want you to feel happy here, and feel responsible for the fact that you can be proud of our home and be happy here... We will do everything in our power to help you... I would like to take this opportunity to give each of you a present from Arden house (employee did the rounds and gave each patient a plant), now it is your plants, they will stand in your room, nurses will water them and care for them, so you don't need to do. (Rodin J., Langer E. Long-term effects of a control relevant intervention with the institutionalized aged)"
Residents 4 floors increased responsibility for themselves and their way of life, saying: "You have to decide for yourself how it will look in your room, whether you want to leave it as it is or wish that our employees have helped you to rearrange the furniture... You need to tell us your wishes, tell me what you would like to change in your life. In addition, I would like to use our meeting to give each of you a present from Arden house. If you decide that you want to have a plant, you can choose which one you like out of the box. These plants are your thing, you should keep them and care for them as you see fit. Next week, two evenings, Tuesday and Friday, we will showcase the film. You need to decide on what day you go to the movies and want you all to watch the movie. (Rodin J., Langer E. Long-term effects of a control relevant intervention with the institutionalized aged)"
Three weeks later, surveys were conducted among residents of nursing homes. The researchers noted the level of life satisfaction, activity, sociability, overall tone, power, habits of the participants. In the result the residents of the 2nd floor (patients with whom worked closely staff) "the average level of happiness" was a negative value, and the residents of the 4th floor (with control over their own lives) this level was in positive territory. The improvement of objective indicators were also high in groups of patients controlling their lives.
But that's not all. Six months later, the indicators to measure the state of the residents of the 4th floor has not decreased, but increased. And for the entire study interval from the first group died and 30% of patients, and from the second group, only 15% of people.
German scientist Julius Kul conducted a research with students. They offered intellectual challenges without solutions. Naturally, the students didn't know about it. While they searched for solutions, the experimenter had a negative comment on their results. Students then proposed a simple problem that has a solution, but students with it, too, failed, as learned helplessness had already formed.
According to the scientist, learned helplessness is produced, if the person is satisfied that:
ProactiveProactive people take action to achieve your goal, whether it be a promotion or cooking dinner. Yes, this position at first glance is fraught with problems: there is nobody to blame the fact that I have all bad, we have to make a decision and stick to it, in case of failure I'll have to deal with the consequences.
But the proactive person will not fall into the trap of learned helplessness. It is proactive, is able to overcome the difficulties, determines its own values and goals.
"Proactive people are also influenced by external factors: physical, social or psychological. But their reaction to these stimuli, conscious or not, is a choice based on values"
— Stephen Covey.
Covey divides the phenomena of our life into two areas. The first – round of worries. This is what we are interested in: medicine, education, Hobbies, relationships within the family, problems friends and so on. This large circle has area less than the circle of influence. Those life issues that we can decide for ourselves to affect them.
A proactive person focuses on the circle of influence, gradually expanding it. "Why the counterpart behaves in that way? How do I behave in this case?". Jet mostly focuses on what are beyond his influence. "A colleague is a terrible person, it's impossible to work with."
Three types of problems1. Issues under our direct control (the decision depends on us)
Solved by improving skills, acquiring new knowledge. And one of the efficient helpers of our growth – service SmartProgress. Putting the goal on the website, we become proactive: determine timing, action plan, methods of achieving goals determined by the availability of resources. We understand what advantages have, see their strengths and obtain missing resources. And controlling their lives and taking responsibility (as studies show), we are more happy than those who fly on the wind of fate.
2. Problems under our indirect control (the decision depends on other people)
Solved by changing methods of influence. How to influence others wrote Dale Carnegie, Robert Cialdini, Karen Pryor and many other professionals. Reading useful books and applying the advice into practice, you will definitely find effective methods of influence. And then the communication with colleagues, neighbors, teachers, son, friends will become more productive.
3. Problems beyond our control (nobody in forces to influence the decision)
Require them quiet acceptance. Yes, it can be difficult to take health issues, especially public policy, climate change. But what will change from the complaints and whining? Nothing. And the mood you and others will deteriorate. It is better to direct this energy to learn to live in such circumstances.
All days, while I was researching this article, it was raining. I can't change the weather, but it can go outside under an umbrella, call a taxi, order food or medicines at home. And all my whining in the style of "Oh, it began to rain again, but as you can already" does not guarantee a bright sun in the sky. But the mood will only get worse.
Jet man is a spectator of his life. Proactive – Director
Also interesting: Two poles: the Arrogance and self-doubt
If you want to make, don't repeat my mistake!
Psychologist of the US Olympic team, a specialist in the field of human behavior, best-selling author Dennis Whately said, "the Winners manage the events, and the losers let it happen". Be winners! published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: habrahabr.ru/company/smartprogress/blog/310324/
"I was brought up" – confusedly justifies a man, not talking to the wife compliments.
"The chief-the petty tyrant, it's impossible to work" – emotionally gesticulating young man, holding a signed letter of resignation.
What unites these characters? Shifting responsibility for what is happening to other people. If you believe the theory of determinism (man has no choice, he is only a pawn), the responsibility for our present position brings someone else: the boss, parents, wife, friends, neighbors.
Simply put, we tend to blame everything on others. And that is quite convenient all around to blame for my troubles and misfortunes, and I do normal guy! If you continue on this path, then at the end you will be disappointed and not understand why your life is not what you want to see her. And why the mods already opened a private art school, (though you were in the same Institute), and you still unrecognized artist of the underpass.
People are reactive, used to go with the flow, falls into the trap of learned helplessness. It appears after fruitless attempts to change the situation. The man now his will is in the negative circumstances, but not even trying to improve them, although it has the opportunity. For example, trying 2-3 times to get a promotion by conversation with the chief, the employee simply resigns himself to the situation. But methods for career growth are many.
What science saysthe Phenomenon of learned helplessness was discovered by American psychologist Martin Seligman in 1967. A few years later his colleagues conducted a study confirming that the ability to control the circumstances in your life has a positive effect on mental and even physical condition of the people.
Participants – 91 a resident of the nursing home.
Residents 2 floors left to lead a normal lifestyle with the help of staff. They said, "We want to make your room look comfortable as possible and will try to do. We want you to feel happy here, and feel responsible for the fact that you can be proud of our home and be happy here... We will do everything in our power to help you... I would like to take this opportunity to give each of you a present from Arden house (employee did the rounds and gave each patient a plant), now it is your plants, they will stand in your room, nurses will water them and care for them, so you don't need to do. (Rodin J., Langer E. Long-term effects of a control relevant intervention with the institutionalized aged)"
Residents 4 floors increased responsibility for themselves and their way of life, saying: "You have to decide for yourself how it will look in your room, whether you want to leave it as it is or wish that our employees have helped you to rearrange the furniture... You need to tell us your wishes, tell me what you would like to change in your life. In addition, I would like to use our meeting to give each of you a present from Arden house. If you decide that you want to have a plant, you can choose which one you like out of the box. These plants are your thing, you should keep them and care for them as you see fit. Next week, two evenings, Tuesday and Friday, we will showcase the film. You need to decide on what day you go to the movies and want you all to watch the movie. (Rodin J., Langer E. Long-term effects of a control relevant intervention with the institutionalized aged)"
Three weeks later, surveys were conducted among residents of nursing homes. The researchers noted the level of life satisfaction, activity, sociability, overall tone, power, habits of the participants. In the result the residents of the 2nd floor (patients with whom worked closely staff) "the average level of happiness" was a negative value, and the residents of the 4th floor (with control over their own lives) this level was in positive territory. The improvement of objective indicators were also high in groups of patients controlling their lives.
But that's not all. Six months later, the indicators to measure the state of the residents of the 4th floor has not decreased, but increased. And for the entire study interval from the first group died and 30% of patients, and from the second group, only 15% of people.
German scientist Julius Kul conducted a research with students. They offered intellectual challenges without solutions. Naturally, the students didn't know about it. While they searched for solutions, the experimenter had a negative comment on their results. Students then proposed a simple problem that has a solution, but students with it, too, failed, as learned helplessness had already formed.
According to the scientist, learned helplessness is produced, if the person is satisfied that:
- the situation that he is not satisfied, does not depend on his behavior and efforts to change this situation;
- all his failures he is guilty (it is insufficient on any grounds: incompetence, stupidity, inability to do something);
- success if he suddenly comes due to a random lucky coincidence or someone's help, not his abilities.
ProactiveProactive people take action to achieve your goal, whether it be a promotion or cooking dinner. Yes, this position at first glance is fraught with problems: there is nobody to blame the fact that I have all bad, we have to make a decision and stick to it, in case of failure I'll have to deal with the consequences.
But the proactive person will not fall into the trap of learned helplessness. It is proactive, is able to overcome the difficulties, determines its own values and goals.
"Proactive people are also influenced by external factors: physical, social or psychological. But their reaction to these stimuli, conscious or not, is a choice based on values"
— Stephen Covey.
Covey divides the phenomena of our life into two areas. The first – round of worries. This is what we are interested in: medicine, education, Hobbies, relationships within the family, problems friends and so on. This large circle has area less than the circle of influence. Those life issues that we can decide for ourselves to affect them.
A proactive person focuses on the circle of influence, gradually expanding it. "Why the counterpart behaves in that way? How do I behave in this case?". Jet mostly focuses on what are beyond his influence. "A colleague is a terrible person, it's impossible to work with."
Three types of problems1. Issues under our direct control (the decision depends on us)
Solved by improving skills, acquiring new knowledge. And one of the efficient helpers of our growth – service SmartProgress. Putting the goal on the website, we become proactive: determine timing, action plan, methods of achieving goals determined by the availability of resources. We understand what advantages have, see their strengths and obtain missing resources. And controlling their lives and taking responsibility (as studies show), we are more happy than those who fly on the wind of fate.
2. Problems under our indirect control (the decision depends on other people)
Solved by changing methods of influence. How to influence others wrote Dale Carnegie, Robert Cialdini, Karen Pryor and many other professionals. Reading useful books and applying the advice into practice, you will definitely find effective methods of influence. And then the communication with colleagues, neighbors, teachers, son, friends will become more productive.
3. Problems beyond our control (nobody in forces to influence the decision)
Require them quiet acceptance. Yes, it can be difficult to take health issues, especially public policy, climate change. But what will change from the complaints and whining? Nothing. And the mood you and others will deteriorate. It is better to direct this energy to learn to live in such circumstances.
All days, while I was researching this article, it was raining. I can't change the weather, but it can go outside under an umbrella, call a taxi, order food or medicines at home. And all my whining in the style of "Oh, it began to rain again, but as you can already" does not guarantee a bright sun in the sky. But the mood will only get worse.
Jet man is a spectator of his life. Proactive – Director
- Take responsibility for life itself. Search for constructive solutions, saying, "I will...", "I choose...", "I can...".
- Change your way of thinking. Analyze date, and failures in it. What you could change to get better results? As you should do, what to say, what emotions to put it out?
- Take a reaction to the nuisance by controlling the senses. Safely take failure, wondering how it can be corrected or prevented in the future.
- Make a decision and stick to it. To do this, you can also use the service of SmartProgress. You create a goal, and the system reminds you if you didn't write about the results.
- Act in accordance with your values, not someone else's. If you value higher education, then put a goal and achieve it, without grumbling and condemning people.
- Take the initiative – take action and not become the object of impact. If in the workflow there are problems, suggest management solutions.
- Consider each event as another step towards your goals. Failed advertising campaign? There is a reason to pump your skills and become more experienced.
Also interesting: Two poles: the Arrogance and self-doubt
If you want to make, don't repeat my mistake!
Psychologist of the US Olympic team, a specialist in the field of human behavior, best-selling author Dennis Whately said, "the Winners manage the events, and the losers let it happen". Be winners! published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: habrahabr.ru/company/smartprogress/blog/310324/
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