Why with the age of love is getting smaller Bashny.Net

Than older people, the less in his life — love. So they say. And the truth is a lot more than I would like. Why? Here's the conversation.

Why my friends, those who are over thirty and over forty (not all of course) so you want love, and so hard to believe in it? Why the older you are, the more you have to change — it is, among other things, reckless and "not Mature" so this is love was possible? And why is it so bad it turns people wise, prudent, and broken life of this thing in flight and easy to have in your life younger people (not talking about teenagers)? What's wrong here?

Happy irresponsibility

What good is the life of a child — not even the most prosperous — from an ordinary family? Irresponsibility. Write that word without a hint of condemnation or even disapproval. This is the same irresponsibility that sincere believers: what would you do, and LOVING your higher power will fix it. Of course, by the Pope to, and in the corner to stand up, but it's the little things. A roof over my head, warmth, food, clothes — everything will be. And a kind word, and home care. And snot you wiped, and the floor behind you. But if you get in trouble, it is, in the end their parents troubles. To listen to reprimands at school, to explain to the police, looking for money or a doctor for abortion, uh-uh, this is when older.

Where not looking happy in their irresponsible child, he does not see, does not know the region. By and large, he does not know the word "no" really "no" as a threat from which no one will help.

He knows "no" elders, which can be tricky to get around if they gape. He easily jumps from heights and climb to the depths — he is not, in principle, realizes that in "extreme" point, the witness's eye can no one noticed, but strong hand to catch up. For him "this never happens". And this is his happiness. The world this child is NOT indifferent. Not just "not bad" but is "caring". The world to him kindly. Not by itself. In the face of those loving adults who care. Which he is, the little guy somehow roads and necessary in itself — FOR nothing. Just. Even love counter is optional. Nothing is sure. Love you — just.

Someone more, someone less, someone just protecting someone else bring the cake, someone is punished more often, someone less often, but still — cherish.

Children's irresponsibility (happy serenity and a clear expectation of a good future) and that same unconditional love, about which so much is said — sides of the same coin.

A moment of maturation

And again, the word "adulthood" I write without the enthusiastic piety, which it often accompanied in the educational talks. Growing up — a thing is objectively unpleasant, like losing your teeth or the appearance of wrinkles. The same objective and the same unpleasant. Growing up is a syndrome, i.e. a set of symptoms (well, just signs), the change of mental action. It opens some opportunities and closes others. It's just a fact of life. Within our themes is the unpleasant fact. Growing up deprives a person of love. How? It is not easy. But it's reliable.

Growing up (not at once, gradually) to the extent that deeper — in the sense of faith, and the meaning of daily practices — understand one simple thing. He himself, it is useless. Anyone. Exactly. (Specify any other man, not to touch matters of faith). My parents are getting older, and, increasingly, already they want to be needed baby. That is — translate — they want to care, warmth and other money (and, of course, have that right, but we now not about it). But to give just for the fact of existence — that's, alas — no.

With a good scenario someone is interested in him, grown children, abilities, capabilities, data, and what it can do. In the scenario, quite different, someone may like it data external. Or mind, or way of moving. In short, something which does not especially need to strain. (Well, up to a certain age). But even here love him because he is entertaining. And the farther, the more you have to do anyway, to please-to entertain and not bore. At the moment when a person finally recognizes absolutely one ceases to hope that the "higher eyes" will watch, "highest hand" support one way or the other — he becomes a responsible adult. Begins to fear. For yourself, for tomorrow, for those for whom it is responsible. There is a serious attitude to life. And lost magic of a higher power, faith in a loving world. Or if you want the feeling of a lost favorite. No, the world and people still not hostile (though at the moment of transition-awareness many people think that way). It's much worse. World, people, there is no case. At all. And you so unique — you can smudge not "for something", not out of envy and malice. And casually. Accidentally. Just. Nothing personal. And now, when the magic disappeared, "objective picture of the world" makes all the time to wrinkle the forehead. Strain. To provide. Err. Tear on yourself and push ahead. First with the aplomb of the young conqueror of the world. Then with passion late for the last train. Then with despair from the fact that no train no... and must go.

At adulthood there are different States. "I am alone, all have left me, people are bastards. "— usually right after the fracture. "I'm alone, by himself, and that's cool, I'll be self-sufficient!" — when a lot of effort, and cones in nepostroennye life is still a little crammed. "I'm alone, nobody can help me, you have to be cautious and to look carefully at the sides. "even later. "I am one, but if you follow the rules, keep a low profile and to be like everyone else, will blow over or are these all closed down. "that stuff happens. "I am one, and this means that singles need to stick up for each other, to collaborate, to survive. "— not a bad option.

But there are those who carries. Lucky not to become adults or cease to be. In the best sense.

Children's happiness adult people

There are those who are lucky. Lucky to be back someone need just. Just for what they are. And again someone, help, not sleep nights, and inserts the shoulder — not in exchange. Not for pay, not by persuasion, not obligation. Because it wants to. Because no idea what it might be otherwise. Because loves.

In fact, it is not true that just because. Usually if you love him so much, and he — no, rarely bathed in such love as happiness. At least rarely for long. Because the other one still wants to answer. Nothing less than love. The same. And loveless is annoying. Because he was unloving, not to provide everything, to be everywhere, catching all the little things, like it or remind yourself, no matter how persuade himself. Because loveless is hard to portray love, even partially. And loving this no stress and no. It is to him as breathing.

So luck is not all. Lucky — absolutely unique and unknowable to those who managed to plunge into an irrational, unfair, undeserved feeling is mutual. It was then re-ignites in the soul of a real fire the same child-like faith: you're someone more than anything in life needs a reason, and that I always will. That is, there is nothing specifically you can do.

In order to not have instead of this fire to draw a cardboard torch and psychological tricks to delude ourselves that the fire de, real, not to "make gold out of shit", you need just two things:

• love you just so
• it will always be

That's when it happens. Then battered suspicious, pessimestichno, rational and wary of gifts of life (every year more and more!) adult brain, suddenly has almost all the original joy of childhood. No, he becomes stupid. (Though often in the eyes of others, suddenly begins to behave strangely...). Just much that is important and necessary for a person lonely and people are mostly indifferent, is now become not important. Because the routine of life again becomes the joy. Because tomorrow again promises not "survival", and the interest and new gifts. Because to live again "necessary", and... well, you know what I mean.

And because it always will be.

 

Author: Timur Gatin

Source: www.syntone.ru/library/article_syntone/content/7008.html