Fast reading: logic— the way to save the relationship Bashny.Net

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Studies of clinical psychologists and scientists for the last 25 years argue that love is not chaotic feeling based on emotions and sex, and the type of behavior that can be controlled using logic.

There are two main factors that can help to save a soured relationship: the ability to provide emotional feedback and to provide the necessary support.

Sensitivity in the recognition of emotional signals allows you to maintain a robust and fruitful contact with a partner. These findings are confirmed by a study of 168 couples over 14 years of marriage, from the University of Texas and other works on the study of relations. They made it possible to develop practices that are making the relationship more pleasant, but bring in two people a sense of security, in which the usual touch of the arm can decrease anxiety and pain even before the threat of an electric current.

Love is incredibly logical survival code designed to keep close the people you can rely on in the future. Attempts rational explanations or emotional separation can result in rejection and loneliness. In many unions the researchers found problems with the fact that one of the partners tries to rationally and aloof to respond to the requests and decisions of another person — feeling their innocence, he does not understand why the relationship starts to crumble.

"Love is incredibly logical survival code designed to keep close the people you can rely on in the future."

It turned out that using emotionally oriented therapy from 70 to 73% of couples manage to overcome the crisis in relations, and for 86% of cases characterized by explicit and lasting improvement. In accordance with this method, instead of having to fend off foreign criticism with ruthless logic or flee from the conversation, to make clear to your partner, when and what of his word is going to cause emotional pain. Attacks or failures may be recognized by the brain as a threat to survival and be perceived in the same way as physical pain, causing us confusion or a desire to avoid accountability, stated in the study Nancy Eisenberg, University of California, Los Angeles.

During treatment the respondents taught the right way to manage their emotions, to point to specific moments of fear of rejection and lack of understanding, explicitly ask for support when you need it. The logic of these conversations were marked with the words "Hold me tight", she clearly has led to the establishment of relations in nine different studies. New research mirror neurons inspire to look in the eye of the partner in an attempt to better recognize his emotional reality, to read his intentions and tune into the harmony of a long and prosperous relationship

Many people who have trouble communicating with their partners, I believe that requests for care or open need for emotional connection is a sign of weakness or immaturity. Studies indicate that people who are not shy to reach out to others for support, feel confident, feel like he belonged better protected from stress, often located to take risks, to search and achieve new career objectives. published 

Source: theoryandpractice.ru