Problem. Create or decide? Bashny.Net

Today I'm going down the street and hear: "I Have no life, and nothing but trouble!" In response I have worked almost professional skill, and almost blurted out: "are you sure you want to solve them?"





Why suddenly this question? Facts from psychology show that most people want and happy(!) to stew in the difficulties. But a solution for them – a taboo! After all, they are a people of life! Complain, complain, complain, repeat them a thousand times, and so on. By the way, below I will tell you what to do with an endless stream of someone else's whining.

Problem. Create or decide?

This question I asked not in vain. There are only two types of people: those who are themselves the problem and those who solved them. Possible a third type: when there is no problem. But it is not life, and Nirvana – freedom from desire, suffering, attachment and ease.

And while we're at it, so the problem is... I Decided(a) that I will respond? Later. And yet – what answers came to you? I suspect that they may be "horror", "I can't", "hard" and the like. Clear. Well now, in fact, the problem is a complex question or task that requires the permissions of the study. (dictionary Ozhegova) note – "required"! Rather than nagging on every corner that they have nothing that everything is bad, blame the parents, the family state that "money solves all problems, and I don't have them". People can talk about their troubles, but not to ask for help. (S) he is happy to sit in the difficulties! And if you turn up against his or her will to help – blame yourself – it's like to stand in the way of a rushing train...



People cling to problems because they make his life brighter, richer. A lot of problems – a drive, a tour! In addition, they save him from having to go to work, earn money to care. Sounds crazy, but it is! After all the time and effort spent in problem like water in the sand. Say, "How differently? Times had difficulties – we must decide!" And what he(a) pulled these troubles? For what? Of what use are they? The answers to these questions and the solution of this problem. In fact – you, headlong, to fix the consequences. Thus "solve" the situation, and in fact avoiding her. Time passes... and the problem persists, with even greater force. Why? Because you really don't want to solve it. To face the consequences, Yes, but to remove it from the root – why? Then what to do?! Man problem is easy to learn. (S) he is fussy, unfocused, constantly somewhere in a hurry, hectic, stressful, and inefficient. He(a) doesn't solve things, and heightens them, makes a fuss, stick with the sores, fanning concern – otherwise life would be empty.

Some truth in this. Human nature is such that we need to have problems. The main question – for what? To increase their knowledge, ability and results. And not to suffer, complain and fall into depression and despair. The difference(a)?



To understand how to solve problems, ask yourself:

• why do I need it?
• what brings me favour/benefit?
• from what save?
• what I'm afraid of when the problem will be solved?
• what my goal is?

If the answers you want – sit in the problem and enjoy. Neither good nor bad, it's the psychology of choice. If not – decide actions. Need help, ask a question to a psychologist for free now. Or get counseling via Skype.

Bonus. I promised to tell you what to do with a continuous stream of another communication. For example: "How are you?" — "A lot of problems. No money kids-boobies don't listen, chief, unhappy, tra-TA-TA, tra-TA-TA..." the Man don't need your advice, especially help. What to do then? – Give quiet proof: "Clear", "I heard you(a)", "Clear". One simple confirmation will end the flow of words faster than the mass attempts to calm down, to reason or, God forbid, to teach life.

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: www.sumasoyti.com/psihologiya-obsheniya/problema-sozdayu-ili-reshayu.html