Emotional dependence is payback

Working with love addiction, I see some patterns. At some point, clearly loomed portrait of dependent personalities. I am not talking about the deep reasons for going out of family relationships and of dependence, I episodically characteristics of a person, which tends to create a dependent relationship.

As a rule, a person (male or female) who have deep self-doubt. This uncertainty is based on the fact that “I can't love just because”. Uncertainty may lurk behind the external success and bravado, but really in the depths of the psyche there is a little child who is desperately looking for protection, support and love. Finding it in another person at least partially attributed to speculative or other of these qualities, a man is deathly afraid of losing it. He from last forces clinging to the relationship, forgiving, yielding, ignoring their interests, to keep people and associated relative peace of mind.





Have inclined to the dependent relationship between man, as a rule, poor emotional life, or rather, it's just ordinary life, like most people's: work, home, kids, sometimes sports for health or beauty. The appearance of a partner of the opposite sex automatically turns the relationship to goal – all the emotions associated with the relationship. For better or worse, but in any case, full of emotions. Not so boring and mundane life.

The main objective of the relationship makes even the lack of a person's own strategic goals over its life. The solution of tactical problems only help survival, but does not give a sense of where one goes, as he wants to live, what to do. You must dive into yourself for the answer to the most difficult questions in life “Who am I?” and “why am I here?”. Access to the self for many is closed in the power of spiritual and personal immaturity.

This implies the lack of jobs and Hobbies that can occupy at least for a while all the thoughts and aspirations of a person, and a strong intent like a beacon, leading in life. If there are no other landmarks, it is the only affordable becomes a different person.

This is an indication that the first place in the life of a person is not busy. Psychologically correctly to put yourself in this place, but in this case, possible abuse because of excessive selfishness. Therefore, the most healthy for humans would be to keep in the first place faith in something greater than man: in God, in the universe, a Universe in life, a Single Mind, and the like. Only faith in the fact that life is much wiser and multivariate than we can imagine, gives hope that everything will be resolved in the best way and no meeting will not last.

Often fear that “no appointment” is the leading motive to the preservation of the “wrong” relationship. This fear has a profound justification. As social creatures, we are afraid of rejection and exile, because in the old days, it could lead to death. Fear of loneliness is sewn into our genes. Have inclined to the dependence of man he powerfully aktiviziruyutsya due to the inability to establish contacts and maintain communication. Seems to be some kind of social circle there, but it is extremely limited and new connections are formed it is hard and rare, like a kind of isolation, like a man alone in the world.

I am beginning to think that emotional dependency is the price we pay for our unbelief, disunity and lack of love to yourself and to the world. In fact, it is the consequences of what a person goes against the laws of the universe. In the recovery of lost recipes lie beyond redemption. published

Author: Lilia Ahremchik

 

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Source: pticavpolete.com/emocionalnaja-zavisimost-rasplata.html

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