Emigration: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance Bashny.Net

We all know what the five stages of reconciliation with the inevitable: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. No matter how it sounded, but moving to a permanent residence from one country to another has about the same effect.The only difference is that in most cases, we are still going somewhere voluntarily, no one confronts the fact that the plane tomorrow, and decisions are accepted not in one day. However, each immigrant that the new place lives for years, known for totally different emotional periods in relation to what is left there – "until", "before", "last", "behind".

  


  Important note: in the text I'm talking about when we're moving with a firm belief that it is good there where we are not. So – the new place will be better. Because everything's falling apart, there are some grumpy people, the government, the village head, the roads worse than ever, price is a nightmare, everywhere is bribery, nepotism and bureaucracy. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. In short, I'm talking about internal state when it wants to howl, and we involuntarily say, "get the hell outta here". And, in fact, bring down.


  Denial I know it for myself and almost every time you see other immigrants: as soon as one steps into the "new earth" and a little settling, until this veil of novelty and fresh air in the lungs is not passed, the thought of home only cause irritation and make involuntarily waving in her hand. Eyes burning, cheeks – blush: "this is a life like human beings. Well, finally! All for the people!" — I think we are about themselves and enthusiastically share their experience with the same newcomer.


  Anger the more you see how everything "European", like all civilized, adapted to the needs (of different people with different capabilities), how many things around you that relate to normality, not a rarity look... the more you notice the more inside of you indignation – like, how is it that everything is fine, and "we..." I will not Continue – you know that this chain of disturbances.


  Bargaining When you got nasty with these incredibly tolerant Europeans.The first time you see directly on the subway platform in Paris, a group of questionable looking individuals Smoking crack.When it turns out that politeness is often a formality.The first time disappointed in the indifference of people living in a big city.When you get in the endless administrative red tape with the documents for a residence permit.The first time cursing and think – how so? When the city first time you tripped, slapped, insulted, slammed the door... When all of this happens for the first time, for the land do you miss me yet, and a new city to bring a claim is not yet ready. In short, this incredible force of a crushing blow to all your rainbow ideas about new life. Even those who don't wear rose-colored glasses, at least once, fall for that trick – it is necessary to relax, as immediately something will crack and break. And you kind of mad, but at the same time reassure ourselves that "to", "before", "last", "behind" — there is still life was rough and dented. And here is just a period of adaptation. And all of us who thought or thinks – we're right and wrong at the same time...


  Depression homesick begins with some minor, tiny little things. For example, when after years of living in Paris you oversleep on Saturday morning and think: "the Weather is fabulous, now get dressed and go to the Mariinsky Park to drink coffee on the bench". And suddenly the picture of the Mariinsky Park in your head begins to rapidly spin, like in the movies when the show scandalous headlines of different Newspapers, and immediately turns into a picture Parc Monceau in two steps from the arc de Triomphe in Paris. And instantly it dawns on you: "Ugh, what's Mariinsky Park? I'm living in Paris".And something to the left under the ribs gently starts to pull you down. Talking about the hard times we remember only the good. And chipped a home with poor roads and inhospitable people suddenly starts to surface their most smooth and beautiful parties.


  Acceptance Is the most important and the most difficult. Because if we do not live in the box, and if the move and civilized reality where "all people" we still have something to teach, we have to make very many conclusions. And one of the most valuable is that all you need to start with yourself. The French, Germans, Austrians and Italians are not born with all their "European" qualities that we so admire, fresh immigrants. They since the childhood grows up surrounded in an environment where it is accepted to respect the freedom of the person of his choice and the right to a decent life. And create that environment yourself. After all, we know that clean, not where clean and where don't litter. And if you want to change the world, start with yourself. No more utterances in this world. And there is no more true. Social networks give us the opportunity daily to observe these inner transformations our friends, acquaintances and complete strangers, who decided to change the passport and your country of residence. And always, always, this scenario is repeated with slight differences. From complete denial of the fact that his gap-toothed the house we are in response to acceptance of the fact that the Europeans live so well, because focus on a few other categories. At the new place, we strive to adapt, learn new languages, observe the laws, trying to integrate into a new society, the environment, trying to adjust themselves under the rules of a new reality. But here's the irony: there – "until", "before", "last", "behind" many of us have not tried even half as much as in a new place. Why?Why need to go all the way round to you eventually return to where we had to start? And, to begin not abroad, but at home. published Author: Olga Citrus

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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Source: paris.zagranitsa.com/blog/2603/emigratsiia-otritsanie-gnev-torg-depressiia-prinia